I Solemnly Swear
by StarKid McFly
Summary: James is infatuated. Remus feels taken for granted. Peter wants to be noticed by girls. And Sirius? Sirius is just there to stir it all up. But what else could you expect from the Marauders?
1. In which Sirius owes money

**Heya! This was a spontaneous idea and I'm not promising anything wonderful from this fic. But I liked this chapter and wanted to post it up!**

**Anyways, let me know how it goes!**

**DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN HP OR ANY OF IT'S CHARACTERS.**

**Rocky**

**xx**

"Sirius Black, you lying bastard, you owe me five galleons!"

"I do _not_, Wormtail," Sirius laughed, rolling his eyes as he lolled back in his chair tossing James's adopted snitch, the glow of the fire spreading pleasant heat over the area where he and his three closest friends sat. "_You_'re delirious."

"And _you_ owe _me_ five galleons!" squeaked Peter crossly. "I won the bet, Remus told me! I can't _believe_you'd do that! I want my five galleons!"

"Ugh, Remus," sighed Sirius, rolling his head around lazily to glare amiably at his friend.

"Actually, Peter, he owes you ten," Remus corrected, not looking up from his book. "The five he took from you, and the five he owes you from the bet."

"Remus!" Sirius yelled, throwing his un-started homework in Remus's direction. Remus caught it before it hit him, scanned it quickly and then looked up at Sirius.

"Are you going to do this anytime soon?"

"Nah," Sirius replied, grinning. He looked at Remus and smiled cheekily. "However..."

"No."

"Please?" Sirius changed his expression to one of innocence. "Puh-lease?"

"No."

"Uh, you're such a tight arse," grumbled Sirius. "If I don't get this in, then I'll fail the bloody subject."

"Then do it then," shrugged Remus.

"I can't!" Sirius groaned. "It's too school-ish!"

"That's why you can't do your work?" Remus snorted. "It's 'too school-ish'?"

"Look. You've done all my other essays, Remus. Professor Crane will realise that it's a different style, and quite frankly, a load of shit. I have no idea what I'm writing. Do you _want _me to fail?"

"Alright," sighed Remus, as Sirius beamed at him. "What's it on?"

"It's your forte, Moony," Sirius said with a sly smile.

"Oh?" Remus asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Progress of the moon on its twenty eight day cycle."

"That, my friend, is taking the piss," James said, speaking for the first time that evening.

"Oh, did someone say something?" Sirius teased, pretending to look around. James clouted him playfully, before catching sight of the golden ball hovering above Sirius's hand.

"I want my ten galleons!" Peter interrupted.

"Sirius Black, what is this crap you've taken down for notes?" Remus sighed.

"Is that my snitch you're playing with?" James accused, looking up at Sirius.

"Shut up!" Sirius yelled, laughing over the top of them. "I can't hear myself think!"

"You're not the one doing the thinking," muttered Remus as his hand ran over the parchment, drawing large flourishes and loops in his elaborate writing.

"That should come naturally to you," Sirius shot back. He turned to Peter. "Okay, I do owe you ten galleons, but I was going to deduct that from the money that _you_ owe _me_, Wormtail."

"What money?" spluttered Peter, turning pink in the face from anger and starting to resemble an adorable red-cheeked munchkin. "I don't owe you any bloody money, Sirius!"

"Yes, you do," smiled Sirius slyly. "My services aren't free, y'know. James and I require a payment of five galleons per annum. As this is our fifth year, I do believe that you owe us twenty-five galleons each."

"Ludicrous," sighed Remus. Sirius shot a glare in his direction.

"Why?" Peter asked, growing steadily more lilac colour. "What've you _ever_ done for me, Padfoot?"

"_Who _lied for you when McGonagall poked her nose in asking who set fire to the dormitories? _Who _took the cover for the exploding pumpkins? _Who _helped you turn into an animagus?"

"That's... That's... I HATE YOU SOMETIMES!"

"Glad," Sirius dismissed, before turning to his other friends. "Yes, James, this is a snitch I'm playing with, but I don't believe it's yours. Madam Hooch doesn't agree with that statement, you know there's a reward of twelve galleons for whoever turns it in? And Remus, I don't get the sodding essay. It's your specialist subject, not mine. Honestly."

"Sirius Black, you arrogant twat," a voice from behind him sounded. He looked up to see Lily Evans standing over him, her hands on her hips, red hair twisted into two long waist-length plaits. "I heard what you said to Severus today."

"Oh, did you?" Sirius replied in mock surprise as James straightened so suddenly he almost fell from his seat. Lily simply scowled harder at the boy draped across the armchair.

"Look," sighed Sirius, rolling his eyes before looking back at Lily, "he was asking for it. You can't just hex someone and then expect nothing in return!"

"You didn't have to say _that_ to him though, did you?" Lily shot angrily. "That really hurt his feelings!"

"Has he been snivelling to you?" Sirius asked, mock concern lacing his voice. "I suppose he's been crying into your shoulder about Big Bad Black?"

"No," Lily replied crossly.

"Then get off my case," Sirius said, flicking his gaze back to the fire.

"Is that it?" Lily demanded.

"What more do you want?"

"An apology!"

"I haven't _done_ anything to you."

"Not for me, for Sev!" Lily cried. "Tomorrow, outside potions, you can make an apology to him!"

"Yeah," Sirius said blandly. "Like _that's_ going to happen."

"Oh, it _will_ happen, Black," Lily said dangerously, and for the first time, Sirius felt a flicker of fear. "It will happen, outside potions tomorrow."

"What if I'm not there?" Sirius argued, trying to cover his uncertainty at arguing with Lily. "Y'know, I could catch a deadly disease or something. It could be contagious, and everyone could... die..." He faltered slightly at the look on Lily's face.

"You will be there," she told him, "or you'll be wishing you _had_ caught a deadly disease."

She span around on her heel, her red plaits whipping Sirius's face, before turning back.

"And Potter," she said, with a disgusted look at James, "stop drooling over me. You are _so_ not my type." She gave him a look that suggested he had just dribbled on her top and left, this time for good.

After she was well out of earshot, Sirius gave a false chuckle.

"And I suppose you weren't scared at all of her?" Remus said, unphased.

"As if," Sirius snorted. "She's about as scary as my Mum."

"Your Mum _is_ scary," Peter commented.

"That sort of defeats the object, doesn't it, Pete?" Sirius responded with a sigh.

"What he's trying to say is that he is terrified of Lily Evans," Remus said, lazily flicking his wand to stoke the fire, "and is using his mother as a comparison to his fear."

"I'm not afraid of my mum!" protested Sirius, jumping from his chair.

"Of course you aren't," Remus replied in a bored drawl. He frowned slightly. "Sirius Black, what is _that_?"

"What's what?" Sirius snapped, looking over at his notes.

"The question 'what compound is the moon made of'," Remus supplied, scanning the parchment with a disapproving look, "has been answered with 'edam'."

"What's the real answer?" Sirius shot. "Ha! You can't answer that, can you?"

"I already have, Sirius," corrected Remus.

"I'm not drooling over her," James spluttered, recovering from his gormless expression and frowning.

"Oh, you are alive then," Sirius muttered, sitting back down in his armchair after throwing a hard glare at Remus.

"I'm so not drooling over her!" James repeated crossly, scrambling to his feet. "She's a cow! _She_ can't accuse _me_ of drooling over _her_ when _she_ hangs around with that... _greaseball_, Severus Snape! If _anyone's_ drooling over _her_, it's _him_!"

"How outrageous," sighed Sirius sarcastically.

"Anyway, as if _I_ cared about _her_," James spluttered, "I can't think of anyone I care _less_ about, other than Snivellus. And even then, I care more about _him_ than _her_. What is there in her worth to care _about_?" He looked around defiantly at his friends before blushing. "Oh God. I'm in love with her, aren't I?"

Remus stopped what he was doing, Peter stopped cussing and Sirius slipped the snitch into his pocket as the three gave him sympathetic smiles.

"I'm in love with her," he groaned again, putting his head in his hands. "Oh, God. I'm in love with Lily Evans."

Sirius smacked a gawping fourth year as James banged his head against _A Standard Book of Spells: Grade Five_.

"There's nothing to see," he snapped at the boy. "Stop gawking and go play with your own year." He turned back to his friend as the lad scurried away to the dormitories. "It's not that bad, James. I mean, she's not snogging Snivellus yet."

"You're so comforting," said Remus snidely, frowning admonishingly at Sirius.

"I'd have been comforted if I were him," muttered Sirius in reply, turning to pull the snitch from his pocket again and toss it in the palm of his hand.

**

* * *

**

She stroked her hair from her face and tucked it behind one pale ear, the lobe of which glittered with a jade earring. She twisted her arms up behind her in a yawn and threw her head back so that her long locks brushed the granite floor.

"James. You're doing it again."

James shook his head and blinked hard to get out of his stupor. He turned to look at Remus. "Doing what?" he asked innocently.

"Eye-boggling Lily Evans," replied Remus cynically. "It's really quite nauseating, if I'm honest."

"Your face is nauseating," retorted James for no particular reason. Remus raised his eyebrows.

"James, I'm not impressed. This girl's not good for you. Your insults are deteriorating."

"Look, shut up about Lily, and I won't tell Sirius about your crush on McGonagall."

"I do _not_ fancy McGonagall!" hissed Remus, causing a couple of people on nearby desks to snigger. He flushed. "Idiot."

"You deserved it," James shrugged, smirking as he turned to face the front. "Pay attention to transfiguration now, Remus. We don't want to miss a thing Minnie does, do we?"

Remus smacked James with his textbook with a satisfactory CRACK as it collided with his arm, attracting the attention of his classmates and teacher.

"Potter, Lupin," McGonagall snapped, "what in the name of Merlin is going on?"

"James is an asshole," Remus said, shocking the class. Remus Lupin speak out of turn? Shock horror!

"Oh really?" McGonagall questioned, raising one thin arched eyebrow. "Perhaps you'd like to express your opinion on Potter tonight in your detention. If you two are quite finished, I'd like to return to my lesson."

She returned to the front, heeled boots clacking against the granite, the sound reverberating throughout the room.

"You did that intentionally," James tormented, nudging Remus. "To get her alone in her room. It's shocking. She's like, fifty."

"_I do not fancy McGonagall_!" hollered Remus. Just a little too loud.


	2. In which James offers his help

**Second chapter!**

**Took me long enough!  
Rocky**

**xxxx**

If there was one thing Sirius Black could not stand, it was apologising. Especially when it was to somebody that he could not physically stand.

But here he stood outside potions, squirming under the hard glare of Lily, waiting for the Slytherins to arrive.

"Going to apologise, Padfoot?" teased James to laughter. "Going to get down on your knees and beg for Snivelly's forgiveness?"

Sirius laughed along with them, although rather uncomfortably, what with the wrath of Lily Evans diffused in the air.  
The Slytherins arrived at that moment, Snape slightly detached from the group. Sirius looked around at Lily, who raised her eyebrows expectantly.

"Go on, Padfoot," Remus said quietly. "Get it out of the way." He nudged Sirius forwards.

Sirius took the opportunity and moved towards Snape.

"Severus," he addressed him. Snape looked up, surprised. His features quickly reorganized themselves into a sneer.

"Well, if it isn't little Sirius Black," he spat. "You would not believe the things your brother's told me about you."

Sirius, forgetting about the apology, stuck his hands inside his robes. "You need to watch your tongue, Severus Snape. Otherwise it might get stuck down your throat. Or maybe even up your arse." He smiled pleasantly and pushed away from Snape without further a word.

James clapped him on the back. "Well done, Padfoot. I thought you were scared of Lily Evans."

Sirius laughed with them, throwing a cocky shrug as they began to return to their previous positions. His eyes travelled across to where Lily stood, meeting her penetrating glare. He froze still. She didn't have to say anything.

The look alone implied his death was fast approaching.

* * *

"If you were egregious, what would you be like?"

"Who called you egregious?" enquired James, raising his eyebrows at the squat boy in front of him.

"Oh, nobody called _me_ it," Peter replied. "I was trying to impress Cissy Black."

"Narcissa?" Sirius snorted, looking up from the Map. "Why the hell were you trying to impress her?"

"Because she's stunning," Peter goggled at him. "Her hair is the loveliest blonde I've ever seen." His face fell dreamy.

Sirius snorted again, causing Peter to glower at him.

"How can you not fancy her?" he asked, conviction in his voice. "Tell me you don't think she's gorgeous."

"I don't think she's gorgeous." Sirius smirked and looked back at the Map. "Her name is very close to Sean Wiley's at the moment."

Peter ignored this comment. "I know she fancies me deep down. She just doesn't realise it yet."

"Oh?" James pitched in, cocking his head to one side. "Well, you know what you have to do, Pete? You have to _make_ her realise. You have to woo her."

"How do I do that?" Peter asked, leaning in eagerly.

"Alas," James sighed theatrically, "I will require money to reveal secrets like these. However, it is well worth the galleons, I can assure you, my dear friend."

Peter seemed to consider this as Remus entered the dormitory, completely saturated.

"What happened to you?" enquired Sirius with a smirk. "You're all wet."

"Am I?" Remus asked sarcastically. "I had no idea. But come to mention it, there _was_ water falling from the sky."

Sirius raised his eyebrows. "Whatever." He turned back to the fireplace, allowing himself to sink back into the squashy armchair to stare lazily at the fire.

"I was at detention actually," Remus explained.

Sirius choked. "Detention?"

"Oh, yeah," Remus told him. "I called James an asshole during transfiguration."

"No way." Sirius leaned forwards and gave Remus a nudge in disbelief, his grin ear to ear. "Moony! You're regressing!"

Remus allowed Sirius a smile before sitting down next to him.

"What are they up to?" he asked, gesturing at James and Peter interestedly.

"James is teaching Peter how to woo."

"Oh?" Remus raised his eyebrows.

"He's set his eyes on Narcissa." Sirius smirked.

"Your cousin?" Remus snorted. "Isn't she a bit high-maintenance?"

"Yes," Sirius said with a smart nod. "But I wouldn't like to miss out on a laugh."

Remus sneezed.


	3. In which Lily bemuses

"Right, I've got Quidditch," James announced, standing up from where the four Marauders were sitting in the great hall. "Remus, could you do my potions essay for me?" Before Remus could answer, he beamed. "Thanks, you're a real mate." And he was off.

Sirius's vacant expression was filled with confusion all of a sudden. "We have potions?"

"James does," Remus sighed. "I've done yours."  
Sirius's expression cleared into a smile. "Thanks, mate."

Remus rolled his eyes. "Do you mean that?"

"From the bottom of my heart," Sirius assured him, before letting out a huge yawn. "I might have to have a kip." He smiled and smacked his lips together. "Later."

Remus shook his head and turned back to his lunch. Peter was scribbling furiously opposite him.

"What're you doing?"

"Writing a love song for Cissy," Peter replied, chewing his quill. "James is helping me."

"Then you might want to be cautious of reading that." Remus returned to James's potion essay.

"She is beautiful though, isn't she?" Peter gestured over his shoulder at Narcissa on the Slytherin table. Remus looked up.

She would have been nice-looking if it wasn't for that sneer she was so fond of wearing, giving her the illusion of being very high-maintenance. Her pallid face and pale hair made her appear drained of colour and ghostly. She may have been pretty, but Remus wouldn't call her attractive.

"She's stunning," sighed Peter.

"Is she?" shrugged Remus. "I fail to see what's so beautiful about her."

"Well, uh, everything," Peter snapped like Remus was being utterly stupid.

Remus smiled softly. "Go get her."

"That's what I'm trying to do, Moony, keep up," teased Peter.

Remus's eyebrows rose up his forehead as he returned to James's essay.

Sometimes he felt more like their servant than their friend.

* * *

"Let me in."

"Oh, it's you," the Fat Lady said coldly, surveying Sirius Black.

"Yup." He stared at her pointedly. "Open Sesame?"

"What are you on about?" she sneered.

"Muggle Studies stuff," Sirius dismissed. "Could you open up?"

"I see it is still beneath your dignity to use manners?"

"Yep," Sirius replied, nodding.

"Well, you need a password."

"But you flipping know me!" Sirius exclaimed angrily.

"Polyjuice potion," shrugged the Lady. "You could be anyone."

"Why would anyone want to be?" snapped Sirius. "I don't even want to be me."

The Fat Lady raised her eyebrows. It wasn't a response she expected of confident Sirius Black. She decided to be nicer in her response. "Well, as much as it pains me to admit, you are a very handsome young man."

"Oh, you're such a charmer," teased Sirius, though he looked a little bit happier. "Let me in."

"I wouldn't go in there if I were you, Black," warned the Lady. "Lily Evans is on the hunt for you. You may meet your death." She contemplated. "And if you do, I'd quite like to see it for myself."

"You could have told me that in the first place," sighed Sirius.

He heard footsteps behind him and turned to face Remus. "Hey!" he called to his friend. "What's the darn password? She won't let me in!"

Remus merely grinned. "You'd better go to the library to kip. This is payment for the essay."

He pushed past Sirius and clambered through the portrait hole, uttering the password quietly as he passed.

Sirius swore.

* * *

"Potter."

James turned to source the drawl, and found himself face to face with a boy he knew well. Dark hair fell either side of his face like dank curtains, draining his face of any colour. His eyes were as black as pitch and cold as ice. His nose was unfortunately large and a strange shape; the boy was not blessed in the looks department, and as far as James could determine, his personality was just as bland.

"Hey, Sniv," James grinned. "How're things going?"

Snape seemingly ignored this comment. "Stop drooling over Evans."

James was slightly taken aback by this comment. "What are you on about?" he asked defensively, fighting to keep his cheeks from flushing.

"She's not yours," Snape continued.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realise she belonged to you," snapped James. "You talk about her like she's a fricking object."

"She doesn't like you," Snape hissed.

"How do you know that?" James asked. "She's in Gryffindor. I'm in Gryffindor. You're not in Gryffindor. You don't know anything. Has she told you she hates me?" He smiled. "That's a sign that she loves me. In fact, the more she talks about me, the more so."

He'd obviously struck a nerve; Snape's pale face flushed slightly.

"Is that all?" James asked sourly. "I've got Quidditch." He shoved past Snape as hard as he could, almost knocking the other boy off his feet, and walked out onto the courtyard.

He'd just fought over Lily Evans.

Internally, he kicked himself.

* * *

"Wake up!"

Lily heard the harsh snarls of Madam Pince from around the corner from where she sat.

"Get up, you stupid boy!"

She closed her book as quietly as she could; the hisses of the librarian signalled closing time at the library. She looked at the clock mounted on the wall and cursed herself for getting so wrapped up in the novel. She was going to have to sneak back to the dormitory now.

"_Will you get up_?"

Lily could hear the frustration in Pince's voice like she had never heard before. She chanced herself a peek at who was causing her such frustration.

Sirius Black grunted as he raised his head from the table.

Lily felt a sense of loathing as she stared at the boy who bullied her best friend so relentlessly through the gap in the shelves. Her hand curled up into a fist, knocking into a book with force.

Like dominoes, a row of dust covered volumes began to topple, one onto another until fate gave its final blow.

The shelf collapsed.

Lily swore.

Pince turned around at the noise, her eyes widening. "What have you done?" she exclaimed.

Lily began to apologize; Sirius had been startled awake and looked at the redhead and the librarian in confusion.

"Just... leave," whispered Madam Pince. "Get out. Both of you. You're banned."

Lily didn't argue. She practically ran to the door.

"Why am I banned?" asked Sirius, sensing an injustice.

"GET OUT!" bellowed Madam Pince with more force than he would have ever imagined her capable of.

He didn't disobey.

**

* * *

**

For the rest of the seven floors, Lily and Sirius walked in utter silence, Lily leading the way to the portrait hole in Gryffindor tower. Sirius stifled yawns, trying to remain unnoticed. The library incident seemed to have caused her to forget about her wrath temporarily, and he was happy to keep it that way.

When they reached the painting of the Fat Lady, Sirius sat down on the staircase.

"What're you doing?" Lily snapped at him, catching the movement from the corner of her eye.

"No-one will tell me the password," shrugged Sirius. "Since you banned me from the library, I haven't got anywhere else to sleep."

"For crying out loud," Lily sighed. "It's 'croutons'."

The Fat Lady swung open on command.

Sirius looked momentarily surprised. It irritated her how he didn't move.

"Are you coming or not?" she asked, a tone of impatience in her voice.

"Yeah," Sirius said, momentarily lost for words. "Uh, sure."

"You're welcome," hinted Lily.

"Yeah, uh, thanks." Sirius pushed himself to his feet and followed her into the dormitory, exchanging a surprised look with the Lady as he passed.

The remnants of the dwindling fire flickered by the armchairs, the stuffed seats casting long shadows across the carpet.

Sirius began to take off for the boy's dormitory.

"Wait," Lily called. "Not so fast."

Sirius turned to her with a stupid smile on his face. "Oh, sorry. Night." He returned to his previous path.

"You need to apologize to Sev," Lily demanded, putting her hands on her hips to strengthen her authority.

Sirius snorted.

"What exactly," Lily asked, her temper flaring, "makes you think you're too good to apologize?"

Sirius shrugged. "I'm tired. Can I go now?"

"I know boys like you, Sirius Black," snapped Lily. "Pretentious, obnoxious – it's a sign."

"A sign of what?" Sirius asked tiredly.

"A sign that you're hiding a weakness," Lily said quietly. "Hate to another is to cover hate for oneself."

Sirius cringed internally at her words, but remained staring at her with a stony expression.

"Very philosophical," he said calmly. "Goodnight."

But Lily Evans had caught his facade.

"Goddamn girls," he muttered under his breath.


	4. In which Remus has a cunning plan

**I don't own Harry Potter. Unfortunately.**

**Hope you likey!**

"Are you bunking Quidditch _again_?"

"Yep," Sirius said, popping the 'P'. "Peter's asking Narcissa out. I want to see him get shot down."

"Ever considerate as usual," smiled Remus, before opening his copy of _Hogwarts: A History_. Before he had had a chance to read a word, it had been pulled from his hands.

"Hey!" he said reproachfully, looking up and trying to snatch it back from Sirius, who held it just out of his reach.

"I swear to God, Moony, _this_ is what is giving you grey hairs," he said, raising his eyebrows at the book. "There is an entire chapter dedicated to bathrooms. And you think this is an interesting read."

"Well, perhaps if you read it, you'd agree," Remus snapped, trying to swipe for it again but failing miserably. "Give it back, Padfoot!"

Lily Evans, who had been sitting nearby, looked up and rolled her eyes, before reaching out and grabbing the book from Sirius. "There you are, Remus," she said kindly, passing the textbook to the sickly looking boy.

"Nice one, Evans," snapped Sirius. "Now I have no-one to talk to."

"Which'll be a blessing for everyone else," Lily said coldly, before she returned to talking to her friend. Sirius pulled a face at the back of her head and stabbed moodily at a carrot on his plate.

It was then that Peter hurried into the hall, pink in the cheeks as he half-ran, half-stumbled to the end of the Gryffindor table. He threw himself into the seat next to Remus, knocking a goblet of pumpkin juice over and onto the textbook.

"I give up," Remus sighed as he used his wand to try and dry the book. "You two have no respect for books."

"I wasn't the one who knocked a pitcher over it," said Sirius reproachfully, glaring into his plate.

"Don't get in a mood," Peter warned him. "I need you there for moral support when I ask out Cissy."

"Oh yes," Sirius said, immediately brightening up. "When are you going to pop the question?"

"Very soon," winked Peter. "I'm going to eat this pork chop, and then I shall begin."

"What exactly do you need me for, again?" Remus asked in a bored voice.

"To make sure Cissy doesn't leave," Peter instructed. "Do anything. Just keep her in the hall."

"Yes sir," Remus smiled. He looked at Sirius, who was grinning as if he was waiting for something very entertaining to happen.

"Hurry up with the chop then, Pete," he said cheerfully. "This should be a good show."

* * *

James dodged a Bludger, caught the Quaffle, swerved out of reach of Sinead O'Donnell as she tried to tackle him and aimed for the Hoop...

And missed.

Because he was too busy staring at the ground where he had thought he had seen a flash of red hair.

Sinead was now in fits of laughter, struggling to stay on her broom for giggling. James looked around in bewilderment; why had he missed? He _never_ missed.

And then he sourced a shady looking figure down on the ground below, and he was speeding down as fast as his broom would carry him.

He hit the ground and leapt off of his broom in one sweep of movement before hurtling after the boy. His Chaser skills included the ability to tackle, and he threw himself on top of the figure, catching him round the waist and knocking him to the ground.

"Snape!" James bellowed as he wrestled with a greasy haired boy beneath him. "Tosser!"

"Bit confused, were we Potter?" sneered Snape when he realised that he was losing on the wrestling side and decided to use the power of words as a weapon.

James felt himself being pulled off of the other boy by a strong arm. "You dick!" he shouted at the cowering figure on the floor.

"That's enough," the voice behind him said, and James realised who had him. "Clear off, Snape. Are you okay, Potter?"

He turned to glare at Eddie MacDonald, who had raised eyebrows. "He Confunded me!" James growled angrily. "I hadn't even done anything!"

"What's going on here?" Albie Dennison, the Quidditch captain and Keeper, hit the ground of the Quidditch pitch and clambered off of his broom. "Potter, MacDonald, we don't have time for a natter, especially without Black here." He shot a venomous look at James as if it was his fault that Sirius couldn't be bothered to get off of his backside.

"We were just telling the Slytherins to clear off, Albie," MacDonald said coolly.

"Well, get back to flying," snapped Dennison. He paused. "Oh, and Potter," he said, "tell Black that I don't care if he's dying; if he's not back on the pitch tomorrow, he's off the team."

He remounted his Cleansweep and kicked off from the ground, soaring up into the air.

"Thanks," muttered James to MacDonald, who shrugged nonchalantly and took off into the air again.

James was going to make Severus Snape pay for this.

And he was going to get him Marauder-style.

**

* * *

**

"Look at him," Remus smirked. "He's head-over-heels for her."

Sirius, who was leant against the table for maximum comfort whilst he viewed the scenario, nodded. "He's going to crash and burn."

"You're a really nice friend."

"Well, I can't help him on this one," shrugged Sirius. "I mean, if she wasn't my cousin, or if we actually had a passing liking for each other, I'd help. But as it happens..."

A loud crack reverberated through the room, cutting Sirius's justification off.

"Ah, brilliant," Sirius said with a grin. "It begins."

**

* * *

**

"Calm down, Pete!" Remus said as he chased after the flushed boy. "It wasn't that bad!"

"Go away!" Peter squeaked, his face bright pink as more students began to point.

"No! Peter, it wasn't bad! I think she quite likes you really!" Remus looked around at his other friend for support. "Tell him, Sirius!"

Sirius, who seemed to be having trouble standing upright as he fought to keep his silent giggles at bay, nodded, not risking opening his mouth for fear of laughing. Remus rolled his eyes and continued to chase after Peter.

Unfortunately, Peter turned a little too early as he tried to escape; he smacked into a wall and bounced off, startling an angry looking suit of armour. Remus rescued Peter from the mace the armour clutched by freezing the empty suit where it stood.

"So maybe you shouldn't trust James's poetry," suggested Remus, "and in future not go so heavy on the fireworks. Spell checking is always handy. And maybe enlist Lord Fuck-'em-all for help next time instead of Prongs. If you haven't noticed, James and Lily haven't exactly hit it off yet."

"So Sirius will help me?" Peter looked doubtful.

Remus looked behind him to where Sirius stood, biting his lip hard to force the laughter back. "Maybe not," he said hastily. "But, y'know, if it's poetry you want, I'm sure I could think of some."

"How many girlfriends have _you_ had?" Peter snapped.

"Four, actually," Remus replied coolly. "Wisteria Wilkes, Bonnie McGee, Ariadne Thornton and Lucinda Hemingway. All of whom was a mutual split."

"Apart from Ariadne," Sirius cut in with a smile. "She just forced her intentions on me."

"Don't worry, Pete," Remus reassured. "The school'll forget about it soon. And you never know, Cissy might like you back. Her cousin here could... talk to her for you."

"Wha- oh, yeah, I guess I could," Sirius said with an uncertain grin on his face, questioning in his eyes as he glanced at Remus.

"Thanks, guys," Peter mumbled. "You're good mates."

"We sure certainly are," Sirius said with false vigour as Peter began to walk off, rubbing his shins. As soon as he was out of earshot, Sirius turned on Remus. "What do you mean I could talk to her?" he snapped. "If anything could make this situation any worse it'd be that-" He stopped when he noticed Remus's smirk. "What?"

"You're alright at Potions aren't you?" Remus said slyly.

"Yes, I'm alright," Sirius said slowly in reply. "But..."

"How are you at brewing Amortentia?"

Sirius's face split into a grin. "Moony, old dog, I do believe you've just created a crackpot idea."

"Sirius," grinned Remus, "I do believe I have."


	5. In which Peter is ambitious

**Recognition to all the cruddy love poems in time and pin up lines that fail miserably. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.**

James slammed through the common room, robes splattered in mud, glasses more askew than usual. "Dick."

Remus looked up from where he was curled up in front of the fireplace, a small Gryffindor first year with long chestnut bunches tapping her feet anxiously against the armchair in which Sirius normally draped himself.

"Good day, James?"

"Yeah, the day was alright," James said, with a smile at Remus that wasn't reflected in his eyes.

"Oh, okay," Remus said, returning to his book.

"It's just stupid Snape," James snapped angrily. "He Confunded me at Quidditch so I'd look like a dumb shit in front of Lily."

"Lily was at dinner with us," Remus said, puzzled.

"Confunded," James reiterated with an explanatory gesture of the hand. "I looked like a dumb shit to the Lily Evans I thought I saw in my head. Which means that I am definitely in love with her." He seemed to realise what he had said and scowled at Remus. "Don't repeat this to Sirius. He won't shut up about it."

"He was speaking to Regulus when I left him."

"You left him with Regulus?"

"Yes. I left him with Regulus."

James opened his mouth like he was going to say something, and then seemingly decided against it, closing his trap. And then reconsidered and opened it again.

"You've been in a real bad mood lately," he said pointedly. It gained Remus's attention, whose tawny eyes fixed on James with an unimpressed hint in them.

"I'm sorry, I will go and try to cheer up with all haste," Remus said sarcastically. He sighed. "I have a lot to do without you three passing your homework over to me. I'm not your servant, you know."

"We never thought that," James said, and the tone of shock in his voice suggested he was telling the truth. There was a pause where neither boy could think of anything to say.

Then James's face split into a grin. "How did Pete's recital go?"

"_If you were a sheep I'd be your Bo Peep_?" Remus questioned. "When did you come up with that?"

"Muggle Studies is useful for some things," grinned James, and Remus began to chuckle. "Did he keep in the line about how if kisses were snowflakes he'd send her a blizzard?"

"And the one about how she was his Babbity."

"That was my favourite."

"No, I rather liked the pin up line about the raisins in her pocket," Remus smiled. "It caused a very odd look on Narcissa's face that I would pay to see again."

James started to laugh when a loud voice cut across them.

"Bollockhead."

"Good day, Sirius?" Remus smirked to himself at the Déjà Vu, looking up at the boy who had entered the common room.

"No," Sirius said flatly, kicking off his shoes so violently that they caused the little first year to jump.

"Who's pissed you off this time?" asked James knowingly.

"Stupid fucking Regulus."

"What's he done now?" Remus wanted to know.

"Fucked up the wrong tree, that's what he's done," Sirius snapped angrily. "Stupid dick."

Remus exchanged a look with the other dark haired boy, who said, "And by that, you mean?"

"He has a message from my dear sweet mother," Sirius said hotly. "But by message he means that he did _this_ to my hands." He held them out. At once, both Remus and James recoiled.

"Shit, mate," James said with a wince. "Does that hurt?"

Sirius's hands had turned an enflamed reddish pink, and had swollen up in spherical-like sting marks that latticed all across his fingers and hands. The skin looked angry and nasty; when he turned his palms over the skin had split and blood was oozing out of them.

"Yes, Prongs, they do." Sirius stood and stared at the armchair he would have sat himself down in with incredulous eyes. "And who the fuck is that sitting in my chair?" he accused angrily, making the first year girl seated there flinch violently.

"I'm s-sorry," she stuttered.

"Move, for fuck's sake!" Sirius yelled at her. Her lip trembled and her eyes began to glisten. Sirius sighed. "Don't cry. I'm sorry."

But she couldn't help it. Tears began to spill down her face.

"Look! Have the damn chair! Just don't cry!" Sirius said, and he reached out towards her to shut her up. She looked at his hands, squealed and ran for the dormitory.

"Smooth, Pads."

Sirius glared at Remus. "I can't sit there now."

"Now that you've stooped so low as to make a first year cry?"

"How do I fix my hands?" Sirius asked him pointedly.

"By going to Madam Pomfrey," Remus replied smartly.

"Er, no, I do have self-dignity," Sirius said sarcastically.

"You ask for help and then throw it back in my face," snapped Remus. "What's the point in that?" He gathered up his books and walked away from the seething Sirius, leaving the boy to glare at his back.

"Somebody got out the wrong side of bed," he snapped. "Love you too, Remus!" he called a bit louder. Remus made an obscene gesture over his head.

"Did he curse you with his wand?" James asked casually.

"No," Sirius said venomously. "It was indeed a letter from my Mummy. He was just the messenger boy." He laughed sourly. "Only he knew exactly what was in there and didn't bother to warn me. I love my little brother. Like chocolate."

"You've gone mental," James said, rolling his eyes. "Are you sure it was just your hands that got affected?"

"Well, my balls-," Sirius began, but James cut him off with an amused groan.

"Let's not, Sirius. You can discuss this with one of your lady friends. I have no inclination to know."

Sirius laughed properly for the first time and sat down. "They'll heal eventually," he muttered to himself as he stared at his hands.

"Dennison told me to tell you that if you bunk Quidditch again, you're off the team," James informed him jovially. "So you've got to come to practice tomorrow morning, or he will destroy you."

"When will you be made Captain?" Sirius asked. "Then life'll be easy and you won't hold practices because you know we're damn good already."

"MacDonald misses you," teased James.

Sirius looked at him darkly. "That is precisely why I am not going."

"Because you can't face a scary girl?" James snorted.

"Because I don't want to be knocked fifty feet by her brother," corrected the other boy. He yawned widely. "I'm tired."

"You're always tired."

"Well this time, I'm really tired," Sirius snapped. "Don't wake me for Quidditch. I want to see if Dennison carries out his threat."

"Night, Sirius."

**

* * *

**

Sirius woke the next morning with his throat feeling as if he had swallowed a Snitch. He coughed in an attempt to open it again and got out of bed, ignoring the fact that his hands had started to go a faint purplish colour.

It was raining when Sirius and James got outside, both boys pale and tired as they fought their way through the wind and drizzle.

"We're missing breakfast for _this_," murmured James miserably, and the two boys returned into their silent traipse across the grounds.

Dennison was waiting for them outside the changing rooms. "Ah, Black," Dennison said with a nasty smile. "You've decided to grace us with your presence today then? Good, I was worried I'd have to put Pettigrew in your place."

"So you admit I'm indispensible," Sirius said hoarsely. James looked at him. He was shivering.

In the changing rooms, James grabbed his arm. "Bloody hell, Padfoot, look at your hands!"

Sirius widened his eyes in surprise. They were definitely looking unhealthy, blue tinged at the tips of his fingers. "Are they dying?" he asked James uncertainly. James couldn't answer the question; merely gaze at them through a squint.

Practice had been going for a full ten minutes before it had to be called to a halt. Sirius, who had become chalk white and unable to hold his broom anymore had almost plummeted to his death; luckily for him, Eddie MacDonald had caught him and called for time-out.

"Merlin, Black, what is _wrong_ with your hands?" asked Dennison with disgust. "Are they dead?"

"I think I'd better take him to the hospital wing," James said when he saw his friend sway dizzily into MacDonald's side.

"Do you think we should pack away then?" asked Liberty Gosfield, one of the Chasers. "We're a Chaser and a Beater down, is it worth continuing?"

"They're both capable," admitted Dennison sourly. "We can carry on without them. Potter, get Black over to the hospital wing and tell Pomfrey to hurry about it, before we have to replace him with that Pettigrew lump."

James glared at Dennison and grabbed Sirius firmly, leading him back to the hall.

They got halfway back to the castle before Sirius mustered enough strength to dig his heels into the ground. "Don't need the hospital wing."

"Yes, you do," said James flatly. When Sirius didn't budge, James growled. "Don't make me Stun you."

"I don't need it," repeated Sirius stubbornly. "I want to play Quidditch."

"You look like shit, Pads, I think it's the best place for you," James said soberly. Sirius didn't argue much after that, but leant heavily against James for support, who grinned at his triumph.

**

* * *

**

"Have you been fighting _again_?" Madam Pomfrey asked Sirius exasperatedly.

"It's his mother," James answered for the now incredibly pale boy as he helped him clamber into a bed. "He refused to come yesterday, and now he's in a god-awful state."

Sirius didn't even bother to argue, merely let Madam Pomfrey bustle around him with potions and warm drinks as he lay there, the world passing in a blur.

**

* * *

**"He's got Dragon Pox."

"Isn't that dangerous?" Peter asked anxiously. James shrugged as he sat down in his usual armchair.

"Does that mean he might have to go to Mungo's?" Peter asked again, looking at James expectantly for an answer.

"Maybe," James said ambiguously.

"Poor Padfoot."

"Where's Remus?"

"He won't get up," Peter informed him. "He's got a cold. He _was_ sneezing the other day when he came back from his detention."

"So we're two men down?" groaned James. Peter nodded. "So what will we do?"

"We'll get Snivellus back for Confunding you," Peter said, surprising James at this sudden burst of initiative. "We'll get Regulus for knowingly handing a cursed envelope to his brother. And we'll get McGonagall for causing Remus's cold. So that's one... two... three birds with one stone."

"With one stone?" James raised his eyebrows questioningly.

"Ah, but did I not tell you?" Peter said with a coy smile that James had never realised he was capable of. "We will pull off the greatest prank Hogwarts has ever seen, and avenge the three of you in one go."

"This seems a bit ambitious," James said in an imitation of Remus, but he was grinning from ear to ear. "And when you say 'prank', what exactly did you have in mind?"

"Ah," Peter said, as if he was about to let James into an enormous secret. Then he faltered. "I haven't really thought this bit through. I just wanted it to involve toothpaste." He backed into the armchair.

James sighed. Two men down.

James thought through the jumbled mess people considered to be the Marauders.

There was Remus, who was always the most modest and moral of the four. He passed judgements on whether he deemed a prank to be going too far or not. As if he was the Minister of Marauders.

There was Sirius, who often thought up the most outlandish pranks out of a taste for vengeance. He relished in tormenting, but he had a kind heart. He was energetic and very determined. When a prank came together, it was often because he had refused to let the idea be backed down.

There was Peter, who people deemed to be the quiet, useless Marauder. But James knew he was much more intelligent than he let on, and he always felt a bit as if he didn't quite know Peter. Every now and then he would surprise them all with a burst of initiative that had crept from beneath his shield.

And then there was he. He was often considered the ringleader, but that was just because James put two and two together and planned pranks successfully. And, he admitted, his head was a little on the large side. _But you need to be able to love yourself_, he told himself.

Remus and Sirius argued the most. Over stupid things like essays and missing quills. Over more serious things like how reckless Sirius was or how Remus's mood swings sometimes affected a member of the group. Sometimes they would have heated discussions, other times full blown arguments. But they always ended up laughing.

James and Sirius were the most childish. They always thought up immature pranks to pull on Slytherins and imagined stupid scenarios in which a teacher would burst out into song or what Dumbledore would look like in a swimsuit.

Peter and James had the hardest luck with girls. Sirius had no trouble at all; he just had to give them his best puppy dog eyes and lament about his tragic childhood and they were all over him, and Remus seemed to draw in girls' affection simply by being himself. James had many girls eyeing him up, but he was only after one particular redhead, and she despised the very ground he trod on. Peter never took the subtle route; he always tried to win girls over displays of affection, and almost always set his hopes too high, although James knew that there was a Hufflepuff girl named Edna who would be just perfect for Peter if he paid a little more attention to her.

Would Prongs and Wormtail be able to pull off a prank without Moony or Padfoot? Or was the secret to their pranking success that the four of them needed to be in it, like a well-oiled machine?

"No, you know what, Wormtail?" James said so suddenly that Peter jumped. "We _will_ pull off the greatest prank Hogwarts has ever seen. And we're going to make Remus and Sirius so jealous that they'll either get better straight away to come and worship us or die from their envy." He grinned at Peter. "Now, what were you saying about toothpaste?"


	6. In which Remus is subtle

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter :D**

Remus's head was steaming from the Pepper-up potion he had recently consumed, and so he was in no mood to leave Madam Pomfrey's office to be laughed at by the coyotes that were James and Peter. Sirius, who had been out of it, much to Madam Pomfrey's relief ("I normally have to give him potions just to shut him up!" she confided in Remus), wouldn't have noticed even if his eyes had been open, but Remus still felt better to know he was completely alone.

With nothing better to do, Remus began to peruse the books lining the walls of the dingy office, his finger running over texts from root poisoning to non-reversible transfiguration. The very amount of books on her wall, he wondered if she would even notice if one disappeared.

"Aha," he murmured triumphantly as his finger hit a huge leather-bound book entitled _Potions and Antidotes_. He knew Madam Pomfrey had had to treat Amortentia before; it had been his personal experience trying to drag a love struck Sirius away from the Great Hall after he had jumped Ariadne Thornton during one of Dumbledore's speeches. Sirius had never quite lived it down.

The book was heavy when he slammed it onto the desk; he automatically looked up to check he hadn't disturbed anyone. Pomfrey was out of the Hospital Wing at present, investigating the injuries of a nasty cauldron explosion at Potions Club, and wouldn't be back for a while, but Remus couldn't help but feel he was doing something incredibly risky.

He fished through the book as quickly as he could, turning one of the pages so fast that he received a deep paper cut. He had found it. He sucked the blood from his finger and began to read the page, a smile splitting across his face.

This time he was certain the footsteps he heard clacking along the corridor outside in the Wing were real. He shot a spell at a near vase of flowers to cause a diversion and quickly copied the page onto his spare parchment with his wand, before closing the book and slipping it back into the shelf.

_I should win a prize for subtlety._

Quietly, he straightened up, his ears still smoking slightly, and peered cautiously around the door to the ward.

"Madam Pomfrey?" he called. "Are you okay?"

"Oh, Remus dear," she said, straightening up so quickly that she banged her head on Sirius's cabinet. There was a loud bang as a vial that had been perched on the tabletop smashed to the floor and began to fizzle and hiss. "Oh, Merlin!" she snapped, trying to vanish it so angrily that her wand flicked out of her hand and hit Sirius.

Sirius groaned, but otherwise did not stir.

"Madam Pomfrey, would you like some help, perhaps?" Remus offered kindly. "_Scourgify_." The liquid disappeared.

"Oh, thank you, sweetheart," Madam Pomfrey said gratefully. "I have such an awful lot to do, what with the colds and the Dragon Pox. Did you know, Dumbledore doesn't think we should report it, because..." She stopped herself. "But I suppose it is confidential." She smiled sadly. "I hope next week won't be a problem for you, what with the cold. If you like, I could brew you a potion for stamina, but from previous experiences I know it has a terrible comedown..."

"I'll be fine," Remus assured her with a smile. "But thank you anyway." The after-effects of the potion seemed to have worn off now. "I think I'll be off. But thanks very much."

"Not at all, dear, not at all," Madam Pomfrey said with a tired smile, and Remus felt a pang of guilt. She looked like she was under enough stress without his tribulations. She'd be under more if they did brew Amortentia. Should they?

And then he thought of Peter, and how he had promised him that they would be able to swing Narcissa's affections towards him if they tried. "Goodbye then."

"Yes, yes, goodbye, dear."

Remus smiled. They were about to brew the most powerful love potion in the world. That would be an achievement in itself; one Remus was only too eager to gain.

* * *

"Where's Remus when you need him?"

James lay across the bed, head hanging off the edge, a book open. Peter was on the floor, scribbling away frantically at his Transfiguration homework, swinging his legs behind his head.

When Peter didn't answer, James spoke again. "It's really quite boring, just me and you. We haven't done anything productive since this morning. And we didn't get much further than discussing toothpaste."

"Mmhmm."

James began to wonder if Peter was actually listening. "I'm fucking Sirius, you know, Peter," he said in a loud voice. "We were wondering whether you'd be willing to go three-way."

"It'd be the only shag he'd get," a voice from the door said, and James straightened up excitedly.

"Mooooony!" he slurred happily. "Oh, thank God you're back! Wormtail's no fun. We need prank ideas."

Remus sighed. "I'm already working on one for Pete," he said so that only James could hear. "Once that's done, you'll have my undivided attention."

"Okay," James said with a smile. "I could handle sharing for a bit."

Remus nodded and lay back on the bed. "I'm cream crackered."

"You can't be; it's only midday."

"Pepper-up takes it out of you."

"No it doesn't." James hit Remus with a pillow. "You can't go to sleep. I plan on doing some homework later and I will require your help."  
"What is it?" Remus asked with a sigh.

"Muggle Studies," James said, before reciting the title of the task. "'Describe methods of communication used by Muggles in the twentieth century.' It sounds bloody dull. But I know about them telly-wotsits, it's just the bloody post that confuses me. I mean, we don't hop on our broomsticks every time we want to send a letter, so why do the Muggles need vans – Oh my God. I've got it." His face had split into a beam. "What is it we've always said? _Always_."

"I don't know, Prongs, enlighten me."

"That the Wizarding World may have bloody good tricks, but it's the Muggle pranks that put the shock on the Slytherin's faces. Like that time we got Rabastan Lestrange." He grinned. "Do you know any Muggle pranks to do with toothpaste?"

Remus smirked. "We'll need salt. And food colouring. Some peanut butter and maybe some soft cheese." He paused. "And we'll need a house elf that would be willing to restore the toothpaste in every dormitory."

"But they could snitch," James pointed out.

Remus looked at him. "I'm not doing it manually."

"Okay," James said with a smile. "I was going down to the kitchens later anyway. I'll bully one of the nicer ones into it. They can't resist my allure."

"Whatever," Remus sighed. "You'd die without me for prank ideas, James."

"Yeah," James admitted.

"It's not a very good prank though, Prongs," Remus said with a sigh. "In fact, it's pretty lame for the greatest prank ever seen."

"Oh, Remus," James said with a smile, "this is just the start."


	7. In which Dumbledore advises

**It's a short chapter, I know. And it's not a funny one either, it's a little on the serious side like my other more recent ones. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own HP :D**

"...And so it was hilarious," James recited with a grin, flashing his purple teeth, "but we had to take some toothpaste ourselves so that we wouldn't get caught. This marks the start of our pranking reign."

Sirius, who looked slightly overwhelmed at the information and the colourful teeth each of his friends spouted, merely nodded.

"How are you feeling?" asked Remus in a voice that was kind, yet not saturated with concern. "Madam Pomfrey said you had a rash all over your face yesterday."

As if to prove a point, Sirius pulled down the collar of his pyjamas to reveal sting-like marks patterning his skin. "At least it isn't by my mouth anymore," he croaked. "It kills not to talk."

"Madam Pomfrey said you shouldn't," Peter piped up from his seat. Sirius's look was like lead.

"Ah, mate, you have to get better soon," James said with a grin. "I need your help wooing Evans!"

Sirius raised his eyebrows at this. "Now you've admitted your undying love for her, you can't stop it, can you?"

James nudged him lightly. "I reckon you just got ill to avoid MacDonald."

"Will you stop going on about MacDonald?" Sirius groaned, closing his eyes. "It's not my fault I ran; she had flowers."  
"That's why you ran?" snorted Remus.

"Well, I'd have run," James admitted.

"Why?"

"Because flowers symbolize a serious relationship is going to take hold," Peter explained, using his little knowledge of girls.

"Exactly," Sirius said. "And I'm not the serious type. So I ran." He sank back further into his pillows. "I feel bad and all now James is all out for Evans. It'll be a setback. So I've been trying to think up excuses." He looked up at Remus. "When I get out of here, will you kiss me at breakfast? Just so that MacDonald thinks I'm hopelessly gay and will lay off me."

Remus snorted. "How much of that painkiller stuff have you had?"

"Well, I'm sorry, but I'm not kissing Peter," Sirius said. "No offence Pete, it just puts me off that I've seen you with a tail wiggling out your arse. Kind of put me off."

"None taken," Peter said, looking pretty relieved Sirius hadn't demanded he smooch him.

"But that's bloody cowardly, Sirius," Remus snapped. "You've got to go and tell her straight that you're not looking for a relationship right now, but she was fun to be around and things may have got a little too far. Into fuck-her too far."

"I will pretend I did not hear a thing, Mr Lupin," a voice from behind them said, and all four looked up to see the Headmaster smiling at them, his teeth still glittering white. "I was informed by Professor Slughorn that his toothpaste had tasted of peanut butter this morning. Luckily, I always keep some spare toothpaste in my room where the elves know not to look." His eyes twinkled and Peter flushed a little.

James and Remus both looked totally unabashed, but it was James whose face split into a huge grin. "How do you always outwit us?" he asked as though he was speaking to a friend.

Dumbledore winked. "I have my ways." He smiled fondly at the boys. "I was actually here to check up on young Mr Black," he informed them, looking at Sirius. "I hear that you have been quite unwell. In fact, Madam Pomfrey considered admitting you to St Mungo's at one point, before things changed. It appears that you were given a dilute form of the virus. I understand you felt the full effects of the virus, but you were never life-threatened."

Sirius nodded, a little bit of confusion in his face. "I guess, Sir."

"I also understand that it was your mother who sent the virus?" Dumbledore continued.

Sirius looked betrayed then, and turned to glare at James and Remus, unsure of who had told him.

"Alas," Dumbledore said, seeing this, "Mr Potter may have mentioned it briefly to Madam Pomfrey, but it was the other Mr Black who informed me." He scratched his nose as Sirius's mouth dropped open.

"But he hates me," Sirius muttered incredulously.

"That may be," Dumbledore agreed. "But he may have become overwhelmed with guilt because he hoped something nasty would happen when you opened the envelope. And on that subject, I fear that there is little we can do about the matter with the envelope. Your family are a powerful one, Mr Black. You are already made out to be the black hippogriff of the family. It is unlikely anybody would believe your case."

"So he just has to leave it?" James snapped angrily. "You won't do anything about it?"

"Suits me," Sirius shrugged.

"What are you on about?"

"It's too much hassle," Sirius groaned. "And all I want to do is go to _sleep_."

"I would say this is a wise decision," Dumbledore said with a sad smile. "I will leave you to get your rest. I suggest the three of you should consider returning to your dormitories so that Mr Black can recover fully." The way he said it was not unkind, but there was definitely a hint of command in it, and James, Remus and Peter rose grudgingly from their seats, said a quick goodbye to their friend and followed Dumbledore to the end of the dormitory.

As they closed the door, Dumbledore surprised them one last time. "May I suggest you leave it a couple of days," he smiled. "The castle are all bearing odd smiles and are on tenterhooks, expecting a shower of dungbombs or swamps at every corner. Let their tension die down before you continue."

Remus looked shocked at the advice; James smiled again.

"Yes Sir," he said with a grin and a salute.

Dumbledore smiled. "Perhaps I have become a little senile with my age," he said, "but I do rather enjoy mischief. And I expect you boys to keep it up, because when darker times come, we will need the laughter." His eyes twinkled, and he turned in a cloud of purple robes to glide along the corridor back to his office, leaving the three boys to take in what he had just said.


	8. In which Lily is armed with a hedgehog

**Wahey! I'm frequent at updating this fic! :)  
Thanks to everyone who has ever reviewed this fic :) You are my motivation ;)  
If you're reading this fic, I guess you like the Marauders. There's a poll on my profile about them, if you could please check that out? Don't worry, I can't track you down or anything if you don't, and computer isn't that advanced that I can just step out of the screen and throttle you ;)**

Professor Slughorn was especially cold towards Remus, James and Peter the following Monday, refusing to answer any of their queries or suggestions and looking for opportunities to deduct points from Gryffindor. He was particularly savage to Remus, who had always been the worst of the four of them at potions, and had set out to make as many nasty criticisms as he could. James had taken this as a provocation and snapped at the Professor, landing himself with detention every night for his impertinence. After this, James was determined to cause as much of a disturbance to the lesson as possible until he was sent to McGonagall's office with a piece of parchment and a sour look on his face.

The other teachers were not quite so annoyed, although Flitwick used the boys to demonstrate a series of hexes on for Charms in his own quiet revenge, and McGonagall 'accidentally' dropped the entire jar of leeches she was using for their lesson over Peter, who squealed and swatted at the creatures, flicking them all over the classroom.

Narcissa, Remus had noted, had now taken to checking her teeth in an ugly pocket mirror every so often, and only seemed pleased when she noticed they were gleaming white. It warmed Remus to know she must have been on the receiving end of one of the nastier pranks; a job well done.

And still the best was yet to come.

In the meantime, the boys were dying in boredom. Madam Pomfrey refused to let Sirius out until he had stopped hallucinating, a side effect of the medication, and between visiting him, homework and detentions they had very little time to do anything interesting. James in particular had developed a vile attitude from this tedious routine.

"I don't even have time to continue with this bloody animagus shit," he snapped angrily one night upon his arrival back from his detention. "At this rate we're never going to get any fucking thing done!" He threw himself down into an armchair crossly. "I'm going to fail all my fucking exams, and then I'm going to become a tramp, and then I'm going to get kicked out of the Wizarding World, and then I'm going to get rejected by Muggles because I never did any of their O-levels or A-levels or whatever-levels and I never paid enough attention in Muggle Studies to make up enough shit to why I'm such a failure!"

"James, it's only four detentions."

"Shut up!" James yelled, before adding, "And don't you fucking roll your eyes at me, Moony, because you know I'm right!"

James was indescribably moody for the next few days, and so Remus took refuge in the library. But Peter, who enjoyed reading almost as much as he did being flogged, strung upside down from a tree and being used as a piñata, was left to his own devices, and so spent the majority of time in the kitchens, practicing his poetry on the house elves.

"Oh, good, Mister Pettigrew, sir, hurrah!" they would all say. "You is a true poet, sir, you is great, sir!" But it was their nature to be nice and friendly at all times, and so Peter couldn't help but feel a little downtrodden by this.

On Friday, the boys' spirits were lifted greatly by the impending Hogsmeade weekend.

"And it's my last detention with that prick and all," grinned James as they made their way down to breakfast that day. Remus and Peter smiled to each other.

Breakfast that day was especially nice; Peter piled rashers of succulent bacon onto his plate to join the already golden brown sausages that steamed there and topped it off with an egg, the golden yolk like a sun smiling out at them.

"Peter, is that seconds?" James asked with raised eyebrows.

"So wha'f if?" Peter asked, spraying James in bits of chewed up meat.

"You don't want to get fat, Pete," Remus said as he cleared away the meat with his wand, James still looking very disgusted.

"Wife?" he snapped.

"You're not married," James said slowly.

Peter took a large swallow. "_Why_?" he repeated sourly.

"Because then we'll have to roll you up to the tower every night, and that could be problematic."

"Shut up," Peter protested as Remus laughed. "I'm not fat." Though he began to feel his face for paunch.

When the boys left the hall, they were greeted by a familiar face.

"Sirius!"

James bowled the boy over; Remus laughed and pulled James off of Sirius, offering a hand to help him return to his feet. "How're you doing, mate?"

"Yeah, yeah," Sirius shrugged. He still looked pale, but not as bad as he had. "Madam Pomfrey sent me out to give her ears a rest, I think." He frowned. "In fact, I know. They were her parting words."

"Sirius?" Peter said in a voice of great concern.

"Yeah?"

"Am I getting fat?"

James punched Peter on the arm. "Well, it wobbled a bit."

Peter growled in protest and began to chase James up to Transfiguration. Remus held back to talk to Sirius.

"I'm glad you're back," he muttered through the corner of his mouth. "I have the instructions."

"Oh," Sirius said with a grin. "I'm surprised you didn't just continue without me. What with you being so great at potions and all."

Remus contemplated pushing him over. He decided against it; it would attract attention. "James has been pestering me about it incessantly."

"Well, James never has been a one for patience, has he?"

Remus smirked and passed a sheet of parchment from his pocket to the boy. "We'll do it in the bathroom."

Sirius raised his eyebrows. "Are you coming onto me, Lupin?"

Remus gave Sirius a small shove, and Sirius laughed.

"It's the bathroom on the second floor," Remus continued. "The girls' one."

"The _girls_?" Sirius pulled a face to show his disgust.

"It's empty," Remus grinned. "I heard MacDonald and Evans discussing it in Charms yesterday. They were talking about trying to pee whilst this ghost kept gliding through the cubicles."

"That doesn't sound empty," snapped Sirius.

"Oh, come on, Pad," Remus smiled. "It's Christmas in a couple of weeks. The first years will have all made the mistake of going in there by now, and I doubt anyone else will go in there."

"You never know," Sirius said, "it might be a hotspot for making secret potions." And he moved forwards to catch up with Peter and James, slinging his arms round their necks, leaving Remus to look very amused.

* * *

Sirius had always found it very unfair that some teachers liked to sort their classrooms into alphabetical seating plans. McGonagall, this year, had been one of them.

They had admittedly driven her to it after James almost blew up Remus the previous year, and she needed some way of separating them without being too obvious.

But with the back row of desks going "Kendall, Lupin, MacDonald, McGee, Pettigrew, Potter", Sirius couldn't help but feel a passionate hatred that the three of them were over there and he was here, stuck next to flipping _Evans_. Even if Remus wasn't exactly sitting with Peter and James, he was still next to Big-Jugs Kendall, who laughed at Remus's jokes and batted her eyelids at him like she had something in them.

_But I'm not bitter._

He snorted at the statement, causing Evans to look up at him in disgust.

"Something wrong?" he asked her, forcing a civil smile.

She reciprocated it. "Oh nothing, Black." She turned back to her work, and he distinctly heard her mutter a rude name under her breath. "Prick."

He coughed. "_Bitch._"

She glowered at him. "Knob."

"Cow."

"Dick..."

"Any of your insults not penis related?" he asked a little too loudly. McGonagall, who was standing at the front of the room lecturing, looked over at him.

"Mr Black, is there a problem?" she asked.

"No, Professor," Sirius smiled sweetly. "_Lily_ was just answering a query."

"Is that so?"

"Yes, yes it is."

McGonagall smirked before returning to her work.

"Why won't you just apologize to Sev?" Lily harrumphed crossly, slouching in her chair with her arms folded across her chest.

"Because it's too much effort," snapped Sirius. "Anyway, why don't _you_ ever apologise to James?"

"What _for_?" hissed Lily, meeting his glare with her own.

"For knocking him down all the time in public!"

"That," Lily said, her voice shaking, "is _entirely_ different."

"How exactly?" asked Sirius with a chuckle. "If _I_ have to apologise to Snape for putting him in his place, _you_ can apologise to Potter."

"You're absurd!"

"How?"

She stifled a shriek of frustration. "You can't say Potter and I are the same as you and Sev!"

"Why don't you make James apologise to little Sev?" Sirius teased. "Is it because you wuv him?" He started to make kissing noises.

Lily, furious, lifted the hedgehog on her desk and began to hit Sirius with it.

"Ouch, stop it!" Sirius protested as Lily screeched for him to "Bloody shut up!"

"_Protego_!" a loud voice shouted. Sirius felt relief as a shield divided Lily and the poor unfortunate hedgehog away from him. McGonagall stood at the front, looking very unimpressed.

"_If_ you are quite finished," she said in a severely quiet voice, "perhaps you would like to wait outside, Black, Miss Evans."

Sirius opened his mouth to protest, caught sight of her expression and stood up silently. Lily followed in his wake.

They were in shit.

**How was it? It's another one of those prankless chapters, I know. :D Hopefully the Amortentia plan will be up soon! =]**


	9. In which James is shot down

**Watching the "Don't tell him, Pike!" episode of Dad's Army whilst stocking up on calories via the "Tesco American-Style Brownie Cookie Biscuit Things" with a cuppa and contemplating putting Bridget Jones on may sound piggish, but it's bloody good fun. And so, I bring to you this chapter.**

"If I hear of any of the six of you fighting one more time -" growled McGonagall threateningly, but she was interrupted.

"Woah, wait, six?" Sirius spluttered incredulously. He caught McGonagall's expression. "Professor?" he added hastily.

"Yes, _six_ of you," McGonagall repeated. "You, Black, you, Miss Evans, Potter, Pettigrew, Lupin and Snape. I'm sick of dealing with the lot of you. It is neither funny-" She glowered at Sirius "-or brave-" Lily's mouth fell open a little in indignation "-to get yourselves into a tussle. If I have to deal with you one more time, I do believe there might be a fatality." She paused for effect. "As for now, you two will stay behind this Hogsmeade weekend to catch up on the Transfiguration lesson you missed." Amusement toyed at her face as Sirius let out a theatrical groan and slid to the ground, Lily glowering at him as he went.

* * *

With Christmas growing nearer and nearer, the castle was beginning to gain festive spirit. There had been an incident where James had been caught singing a rather spectacular rendition of 'Hark the Herald' with a suit of armour that performed such vigorous dances that the metal gloves repeatedly unattached and were flung into crowds of unsuspecting students.

With so much bustling around in the castle, no-one paid the slightest attention to what the Marauders were currently plotting, which allowed Sirius and Remus to leave for the bathroom one dinner totally undisturbed.

"You had better be right about this loo, Remus," Sirius said as they reached the entrance hall. "If we walk in on a bunch of girls, I'm going to kill you."

Remus grinned. "You wouldn't, you'd be thanking me."

"I don't need your help to get a girl," snorted Sirius, putting a hand into his hair and fluffing up the back. "Look at my glossy dark locks. Am I not a Sex God?"

Fortunately, it was a rhetorical question.

As Remus had predicted, the girls' bathroom was devoid of people, and they could see why.

"Gross," Sirius mumbled, lifting the hem of his robes up from the dirty water that flooded the floor. "Hold on, where's that bloody cat? She's always around here whenever there's crud on the floor..."

"I'm pretty sure everyone avoids this bathroom at all costs," muttered Remus out of the corner of his mouth.

Sirius looked at him in amusement. "Why..." But whatever witty remark he had planned to make was cut off by a loud shriek.

A pearlescent ghost with long bunches and round glasses had appeared before them, non-corporeal tears gliding down her face, which was set in a glare.

"_You_ aren't a girl," she snapped, addressing Remus.

"Is this another dig at my hair?" grinned Sirius. The girl looked at him as if she had only just seen him.

"What are you doing in here?" she asked angrily. "This is a _girls'_ toilet, not a boys'."

"I see no girls," Sirius shrugged. The ghost shrieked angrily and shot off. Sirius looked a little bewildered. "What? What did I say?"

Remus rolled his eyes. "You have no _tact_, Sirius Orion Black."

"What?" Sirius asked again. "I don't get it..."

"She may be dead, but she's a girl. And a very sensitive one at that."

Sirius still looked confused, before something clicked and his mouth formed a silent 'Oh'. Feeling a little bad, he hissed, "What's her name, again?"

"Oh, uh..." Remus faltered now.

"Oh, you failure, Remus." Sirius walked to the end of the bathroom. "Um, little girl? I'm sorry..."

The ghost shot out of one of the cubicles with a splashing Sirius would never have deemed possible for a spectre to create. "_Don't_ call me 'little girl', stupid boy!" Her bunches swung dangerously as she glowered at Sirius.

"I just wanted to know your name," Sirius said innocently.

"What, to laugh at it?" she sniffed. Her sensitivity was something Sirius found very hard not to attack.

"Nope," he said. "You have my word."

"I'd take it," Remus said with a smile. "He doesn't give his word often."

"Myrtle." Her look was a challenge to Sirius. "Go on. Laugh."

"Laugh?" Sirius said with eyebrows raised. "You've just confided your name to _us_. Names don't get much worse than ours." He contemplated this. "Well, my cousin's kid is called Nymphadora, and that's pretty awful..."

Myrtle sniffed, but she seemed to be fighting the corners of her mouth.

"Do you mind if we brew a potion here, Myrtle?" asked Remus kindly. "After all, it is your bathroom."

Myrtle seemed a little stunned that he had asked. "What potion?"

"Well, you see, Sirius's cousin has been very mean to one of our friends, laughing at him," Remus explained as if he was talking to a small child, though without being as patronizing. "So we're brewing her revenge."

Sirius was impressed with the line Remus had taken. He wouldn't have thought to have used that particular argument, taking Myrtle's fear of being laughed at and applying it to the situation at hand. He nodded vigorously.

Myrtle seemed to contemplate. "How long will it take?"

"Well, we'll have to test it first," Remus said, "just in case it's poisonous."

"What?" Sirius spluttered. "Can't she test it for us?" He looked incredulous, before glaring at Remus. "If it's fucking poisonous, I'll kill you."

Remus bit his lip. "So, a couple of days, maybe a week?"

Myrtle looked at him for a moment, before nodding. "I suppose. As long as you talk to me."

"We'll be sure to," grinned Sirius. "I'm very chatty. We could talk about anything. What do you like to talk about?"

Myrtle thought. "Olive Hornby," she answered, "and toilets. Oh, and death."

"Remus is the morbid one." Sirius gave his friend a small nudge towards Myrtle, who giggled, her silvery skin darkening at the tops of her cheeks.

_

* * *

_

_Albie Dennison – Keeper (Quidditch Captain)_

_Sinead O'Donnell – Chaser_

_Liberty Gosfield – Chaser_

_James Potter – Chaser_

_Eddie MacDonald – Beater_

_Sirius Black – Beater_

_Mary MacDonald – Seeker_

"So you kept Sirius on the team then," James noted, looking up at where Dennison stood. Dennison laughed.

"I may not like the bastard," he shrugged, "but he's bloody good. And him and Eddie Mac are unbeatable." He smirked. "If you'll excuse the pun."

James, who did not find his joke at all funny, pointed at the words scrawled next to 'Keeper'. "Is it necessary to keep writing 'Quidditch Captain' next to everything?" he asked cynically.

"I like to remind people who's in charge," stated Dennison.

"You haven't given enough time to forget," muttered James, and he moved away from the timetable tacked to the notice board to where Lily sat.

"Alright, Evans?" he grinned cockily. "How was heaven when you left it?"

Lily looked up with disgust. "What do you want, Potter?"

"I just wanted to give you the satisfaction of turning me down," smiled James. "Go ahead, say no."

"No."

"I knew you liked me," he grinned triumphantly.

"What are you on about, Potter?"

"Well, you said 'no' to my 'no'. So really, you said, 'No, I won't turn James down'. If you'd wanted to turn me down, you should have said 'yes'. Let's try again. Will you go out with me?"

"No."

James kicked himself internally. She had thwarted him. Instead, he retained his cocky position. "We've just had this conversation, Lils."

"Don't call me _Lils_, Potter," she said sourly, closing her book. "I'd call you a prick, but you probably don't have one."

Mary, who was sitting close by, laughed.

James glowered at her, and returned to Lily. "One day, Lily, you'll want me, and it'll be too late," he told her flatly.

"Hmm?" Lily said with raised eyebrows. "Will that be the same day Dumbledore shaves his beard or the one when McGonagall burns her tartan?"

James glared at her. "This ship will be sailing soon."

"I'd rather drown." She looked at him pointedly. "Are you done now, or do you want to see if I can drop you any harder?"

James smiled sweetly and left, seething inside. This was all Snape's fault, he was sure of it. He'd been poisoning her against him, and that was why she couldn't stand the sight of his startlingly handsome messy hair or his alluring hazel eyes. Yes, that had to be it.

He was halfway through planning a nasty stream of hexes in the corridor when he smacked into Sirius.

"Where've you been?" he grumbled. Sirius looked taken aback at the attitude James had about him.

"What's happened?"

"I got shot down, and you weren't there."

"And if I had been there, you wouldn't have been?" Sirius asked, confused. "Mate..."

"Oh, sod her," James said, lifting his head up. "Do you know what I want to do?"

"Hex Snape?"

"Visit Hagrid," James corrected him. "Will you come with me?"

"Alright," Sirius sighed. "As long as he doesn't cook and lets me play with that hippogriff."

**Because Hippogriffs have a thing for Sirius, as do cats and girls. **

**Thanks to everyone who has reviewed so far!**


	10. In which Sirius relentlessy torments

**A big long Remus, Sirius and James chapter. In fact, probably a bit Sirius heavy. Hopefully you like Sirius. **

"An' 'ow can I 'elp yer, Jim?"

James, who was basking in the warmth of Hagrid's Hut with a large mug of tea pressed firmly in his hands, considered. "Girl trouble."

Hagrid chuckled. "No offence or anythin', Jim, bu' I'm not exactly the best person ter ask about tha'."

James smiled. "I'm sure you were a right charmer in your day, Haggers."

"Don' call me 'Haggers', you lil' git," Hagrid said with a small laugh. "An' I can assure you I wasn'. I was the animal man. Nobody likes the animal man."

"I thought girls found that attractive," James mused. "Don't they all love animals?"

"Yeh, cute fluffy ones an' all," Hagrid replied, taking a sip from his mug. "No' big beasts like dragons or spiders though. Seriously misunderstood creatures, dragons."

"Do you have any wooing advice for him?" asked Sirius as he entered the hut with a grin from ear to ear, his black hair windswept. "He won't listen to me and the guys."

"Yeah, that's because you'd have me humiliate myself publicly."

"You don't need help from me to do that," Sirius said with a smile. He looked up at Hagrid. "Do you have a hairbrush?"

* * *

"Urgh..."

The groan was quite amusing. Remus turned to look at Sirius, who was slouched in his chair, his head thrown back dramatically as he rocked on the hind legs of the seat, James's Snitch in hand.

"Is he okay?" Remus asked with raised eyebrows to James. James looked up at his friend with a grin, before giving Sirius a small push. It was enough to push him out of balance; he landed on the floor with a clatter.

The disturbance went unnoticed by Professor Binns, who was busy drawling away about goblins, but it attracted quite a lot of attention from people around them. Peter threw a venomous look at the three of them, angry that they had wound up seated together whilst he had to sit next to Edna Hurst of Hufflepuff House.

"James, you dick," snapped Sirius, trying to hide his smile as he caught the metal ball now trying to escape back to the Quidditch pitch.

"In response to your question, Remus," James grinned as he snatched the Snitch back from Sirius's hand, "yes, I think he is okay."

"I'm not okay," Sirius assured them. "I'm so damn bored. Look outside! There is snow! Snow! Proper bow snow! It never snows, never ever!" He pointed theatrically out of the window, to amused smirks from James and Remus. "And where are we? In History of Magic, listening to some old git who died probably from hearing his own voice too long ramble on about elves that died a hundred and eleventy nine thousand years ago. And I find this shockingly unfair." He stabbed his quill onto his empty note pad moodily and began to doodle.

James and Remus exchanged a look and both had to stifle their snorts before they returned to their work.

'Proper bow snow' had indeed fallen overnight; a few centimetres dusted the grounds like sugar. The clouds still looked a heavy purple-tinged grey, suggesting that heavier flakes would fall later.

Sirius had been right; there was never any snow, merely a constant rain for the majority of Great Britain's year, and it was a shame that they were trapped in this classroom, but he had dramatized it absurdly.

"It's going to be a cold Quidditch practice tonight, Pads," James mused, shivering at the thought.

"But a fit, agile Chaser like you won't let the cold get to them, would they?" teased Remus.

"Yeah, but he's a skinny little rake," Sirius grinned. "Look at that." He pulled James's arm up and closed his hand around his wrist to prove just how slender the chaser was.

"Piss off, Sirius." James wrenched his hand free with a smile. "You should curse Snape and see if anyone notices."

"Oh, because no one will notice hexes rebounding off the classroom walls, even if it does hit them," Remus said sarcastically, amusement playing at his face.

"Whatever we do, can we do _something_?" Sirius pleaded as he rocked back in his seat. "I'm actually contemplating chopping off an arm here to see if Binns'll let me go to the hospital wing."

"Take his wand off him, James, before he does anything stupid," advised Remus. Sirius, hearing this, smashed all four chair legs onto the ground, glaring at them both as they began to laugh.

"You two don't understand sarcasm well, do you?"

"Well, you don't apply it properly," Remus replied. "You need to learn from me: the King of Satire."

"What do you think would happen if I threw a book at Binns?" asked Sirius, ignoring Remus's previous comment.

"What normally happens when you throw something at a ghost?"

"Yeah, but do you think he'd notice?" asked Sirius with a grin.

"I bet you five galleons that he doesn't," James challenged immediately.

"I bet he does," Remus argued. "Here, James, I'll take you on. Sirius can be our unbiased adjudicator."

"Five galleons?" James raised his eyebrows. "Are you really willing to bet that much?"

Remus nodded. "Bring it."

Sirius grinned. "Okay, lads, here we go then." He lifted the ink bottle from the desk's inkwell and launched it through the middle of the teacher's head. There was a loud smash as it hit the stone floor a few metres behind Binns, splattering nearby students with blue ink. A few of them screamed; it satisfied Sirius to see that both Evans and MacDonald had been splashed with large amounts.

Binns himself temporarily looked as if he had been dragged from a stupor. He looked directly at Sirius, who smiled back and rolled his eyes. "You, boy, wait outside."

Sirius obeyed, standing up to leave the classroom. There were whispers and hisses all around the classroom until the door shut and Binns returned to his continuous drone.

Remus sat in silence for a few moments, his quill blotting a huge stain where it had come to rest on his parchment.

"Psst," James hissed. "Rem. I dare you to throw something at Binns."

"We've established he notices, you owe me five galleons."

"I double dare you."

"No."

"You can't back out of a double dare."

Remus smiled. "Okay, if we're playing like this... I triple dare you to run through him."

"What?" James asked incredulously. "Are you mental?"

"Can't back out of a triple dare."

"You're psychotic," snapped James, but he nodded. "You won't hold anything against me. You bloody throw something first."

Remus nodded with a smile, before lifting up his textbook and hurling it at his teacher. The rest of the class jumped once more, before giving annoyed tuts and hisses. Binns looked up angrily.

"You there, boy, what's your name?"

James's eyes were wide enough to pop out of his head. "But _I_ didn't throw it!"

"If there is one more disruption from this back bench, the whole class will be remaining behind," Binns threatened, and the others in the class groaned angrily. "As for now, you can go and wait outside."

James stood up angrily, his chair clattering to the ground behind him. He turned to Remus, who shrugged and muttered, "You asked for it."

"I never break a dare," James snared, and he launched himself through the teacher on his way from the classroom. "Fuck, that was cold," he snapped as he got outside. Sirius was sat on the ground outside, levitating a conker above his head. "I thought you'd have gone by now."

"I knew you'd get kicked out too," shrugged Sirius, making a grab for the conker and stowing it away in his robes. "Free period now though," he smiled. "Binns'll never remember he sent us out."

"And it's only four days till end of term and all," James shrugged with a smile. The words caused Sirius's to falter. James regretted it.

"Are you going home?" he asked quietly.

"I received a letter of my orders," said Sirius in a jokey tone, though James could hear his hurt under his voice. "Apparently there is to be a party that I must attend, as the no good heir and all. Otherwise I can stay here."

James smiled sympathetically. "I'll write to you."

Sirius snorted. "Don't expect me to write back, okay? It's too much effort." He seemed to consider this. "Hey, you know what? We need a better way of communication. One that's simple and quick and untraceable."

"Like...?" James prompted.

"Like something small and portable. Subtle like a portkey, but... not as simple. Something that we can talk to each other on. My Mum'll never let me install a telly-thing though."

James thought. "Hey, what about like, a mirror or something?" he suggested after a couple of moments. "It's not an unnatural thing to have in our possession, is it? And we could talk to each other through it."

Sirius snorted. "And where will we get these mirrors?"

"Prefect's Bathroom," grinned James. "We'll bully the password out of Remus, swipe two extraordinarily nice mirrors and charm them."

"Yeah," replied Sirius. "Yeah, okay."

"Great."

"Except, I already know the password. And I swear I saw some selling in Hogsmeade."

James smiled. "Fancy a little trip out then, Paddy?" He offered him his arm.

"Oh, James," Sirius said, seizing James's arm with a theatrical little skip, "I thought you'd never ask."

* * *

The remaining days of the Hogwarts year passed in a whirl of artificial snowflakes and floating baubles. Remus had smashed Peter at Wizard Chess fourteen times in a row; Sirius and James tested their new two-way mirrors by speaking to each other, one in the common room and one in the dormitory.

Sirius and Remus had also spent excessive time developing their potion; Myrtle had been in fits when Sirius confessed his undying love for her under the influence of it. When he had come to, he had been both confused and entertained.

"At least we know it works," he grinned.

"Thanks for loaning us your bathroom, Myrtle," Remus said kindly after they had finished, a steaming vial of Amortentia stopped and placed in Sirius's pocket.

Myrtle sniffed. "Will you come back?" she asked him.

Remus exchanged a look with Sirius.

"We can if you want to," the latter said.

"Promise you'll visit me," she told Remus, who nodded, looking a little taken aback. They thanked her again, and left the second floor bathroom.

"Ooooh, Moony, someone's got an admirer!" Sirius teased as soon as they reached the corridor. Remus's cheeks flushed a little.  
"Shut up," he mumbled.

"Well, you are pretty damn cute, you with your mop top and your cute little face..." Sirius grabbed his cheeks and squeezed them. Remus shoved him off with a laugh; Sirius smiled.

"Ah, what'll I do over Christmas without you?" he sighed. "I'll have no-one to tease. Apart from Regulus. But he's easy to wind up. Woe is me."

Remus laughed. "Well, we'll make it a bomb of a last night," he said with a surreptitious edge to his voice.

"That, Moony," Sirius said, "sounds like a bloody good idea."

**Christmas next chapter I believe! :D Ah, wistful thinking. And it's only February. **


	11. In which Peter's Christmas comes early

**Hey!**

Peter had eaten till his trousers felt tight that evening. Now feeling pleasantly drowsy from an excess of pork chops, he blinked sleepily up at the staff table as Dumbledore finished his Christmas speech (most students would be returning home over the festive period, and this included him).

"And with that," the Headmaster said with a smile, "I wish you all a very good Christmas."

With the usual groan of the benches, students began to file from the hall. Peter made to leave as well, when Sirius stopped him.

"I spoke to Narcissa for you," he told him with a glance towards Remus. "It turns out your words... uh... touched her. And now she's madly in love with you."

"Are you teasing me?" asked Peter in a hurt voice.

Sirius shook his head. "Look over at her."

Peter did as he was told, and met Narcissa's eyes straight away. Sirius had been right; she was staring at him with a doting that Peter had never before seen in her expression.

"Go get her, tiger," Remus grinned, pushing Peter over towards the blonde girl. Peter stumbled and flushed, before straightening up and hurrying towards her.

"Narciss-" he said, though he was cut off by her shrieking "Take me now, Pettigrew!" and throwing herself onto his person.

Remus and Sirius admired their work from a distance as James laughed.

"Was this your work, you sly git?" he asked, pushing Remus playfully. "You two are fucking brilliant."

"A job well done," smiled Remus as students from all around continued to laugh and yelp in surprise.

* * *

"I'm sorry."

James looked up in surprise. Lily Evans stood there, not looking sorry at all.

"About what?" he asked her with a raised eyebrow.

"For knocking you down in public," she said loudly, throwing a glare over her shoulder at where Sirius stood watching. "There you go, Black. Happy now?"

"Well you've blown it now then," grinned Sirius, bottle of butterbeer in his hand. "He wasn't supposed to twig I put you up to it."

James stood up. "Will you go out with me then, Evans? For your apology."

"What?" Lily raised her eyebrows incredulously. "I wouldn't go out with you if the world was ending."

"Apology not accepted," grinned James. "Come on, Pads, let's go hex Snivellus."

Lily, hearing his words, launched herself at him. "Potter, don't you _dare_!"

They fell into a crumpled heap on the ground and began to roll around until...

BANG.

James, alarmed, looked up and launched himself to his feet. "What was that...?" he asked, and tried to move his feet, only to find he couldn't. Lily, pushing herself, soon discovered that she was also stuck fast.

She tried to wrench herself free to no avail. "_What_ have you done, Potter?" she accused angrily.

"Don't blame me!" snapped James. "I don't know what..." It hit him like a tonne of bricks. "Sirius, what the _fuck_ have you done?"

"You have to kiss and make up!" Sirius said gleefully as Remus laughed. "You got trapped by the mistletoe! I'm doing you a favour! Now you'll _have_ to smooch!"

"Undo it!" screeched Lily.

"I can't!" Sirius cackled. "You have to kiss to break it! Or die, but kissing's better!"

Lily looked furious. "You are _so_ dead, Black!"

"I'm going to get you for this," agreed James, though he was smirking. He turned to Lily. "Well, if it's the only way to break it..." He leant down and cupped her chin in his hand.

The laughter faded away in the common room and Sirius watched in shock; the spell had broken, but they hadn't.

A minute passed before they broke apart, and it was James who ended the kiss.

"Wasn't that bad, was it?" he grinned. Lily, who had flushed a deep pink, mumbled something incoherent. James smirked.

"I love you," he mumbled to Sirius, who replied, "Merry Christmas, dear."

* * *

"If I don't see you again, it was nice to know you," Sirius said in a dramatic voice as he looked out the window. The train was drawing into King's Cross now; they could see crowds of waiting parents all beaming at the sight of the train.

"They can't be that bad, Sirius," Remus began, but Sirius cut him off with a look that blatantly said they were.

"I don't know, Remus," James said with a grin, "they called him Sirius. Isn't that enough proof their sadists?"

"I don't like how you phrased that, but I suppose its support," shrugged Sirius with a small smile. James clapped him on the shoulder.

"Promise you'll write," Peter piped up.

"You'd better write back."

"Only if you write first," Peter insisted, looking earnestly into James face. James sighed with a laugh and nodded.

"I'll write as often as I can," Remus vowed. Peter seemed satisfied with this answer.

"What about you, Sirius?"

"I don't know, y'know," he grinned. "I don't know if I can be arsed yet."

Peter turned pink from frustration.

James, laughing, turned to cast a glance out of the window – and jumped a mile.

A formidable looking woman with steel grey eyes and raven coloured hair that was so dark it took on a bluish sheen stood just outside the grubby window, glaring into the carriage in a sinister fashion.

"Bloody hell!" Remus cried with his eyes wide. "When did she get here?"

Sirius, now looking incredibly miserable, stood up. "I'd better go before she glares a hole in the wall." He had got out into the corridor, when James caught his arm. "Yes, Jimmy-o? Can I help you?"

James rolled his eyes at the name, before returning to his previous face. "If they give you a hard time, you call me, yeah?"

Sirius smiled wryly. "As touching as that is, I doubt that if they're giving me a hard time they'll just hand me a bag of Floo Powder."

"Well, you live in a creepy old house, don't you?" James grinned.

"It is very creepy," agreed Sirius, not exactly sure where this conversation was leading.

"So you'll have a fire in your room," smiled James, and he pressed something into Sirius's hand. "Emergency Floo Powder, fresh from McGonagall's office. Now you have no excuse." His eyes glinted gleefully at his masterful plan.

Sirius's face broke into a beam. "James Potter, you scheming git. Nice one."

The door to the compartment slid open and Remus and Peter filed out in conversation.

"So, uh, yeah," James said. "Don't be a stranger, Sirius. Or I will personally find your fire and drag you through it."

"Here," sighed Sirius, pulling out a piece of parchment folded in his pocket, his home address scribbled untidily onto it. "I knew you'd want it. Don't come before three. My bedroom has 'SOB' on it. That should work."

"Son of a Banshee," James laughed.

Sirius turned to look at Remus and Peter. "Would you like to meet my Mum? She's been dying to see the 'filth' I associate myself with these days."

Remus and Peter both laughed nervously, unsure as to whether their friend was joking or not.

They clambered off the train together in silence. As soon as Sirius had set foot on the platform his mother had grabbed him roughly and begun to cart him off towards the exit. He waved at them before giving in to his mother and following her.

Remus bit his lip anxiously. "I always feel bad leaving him."

"That sounded really homosexual," James tried to joke, though he seemed pretty worried too. "Is that your brother, Pete?" he asked, indicating a lean blond wizard who was leant idly against a trolley, eying up a brunette seventh year who giggled.

"Yeah," groaned Peter. "He's home for Christmas then."

"You'll have fun," smiled Remus, giving Peter a gentle push in his brother's direction. "You can tell him all about that chick you pulled!"

James smirked as Peter beamed and left with a happy wave.

"I'll give you your Christmas present now," Remus said to James, handing him a small package. "Have a good'un."

"You too, Rem."

And they parted ways, James to his doting parents, Remus to his slightly erratic mother.

**Oh, it ended a bit crap but y'know! Brittany di Angelo, your chapter will be up next! :D**


	12. In which Christmas is upon one and all

**Hey! It's Christmas (Well. It's February where I am in 2011. But it's like, ten months and five days! Is it plausible to get excited?) 1976! **

**This one is for Brittany di Angelo who requested the party at the Blacks! I hope you enjoy it – if it turns out a bit angsty on Sirius's part, I'm sorry. I didn't realise how angsty it was getting until I read back through, and even then I liked what I had written. **

**Thank you to Scandalacious Intentions for all your lovely reviews, and to everybody who has favourite and reviewed so far! :D**

"Put them on!"

"Why should I?"

"Because you're a wizard, and that's what wizards _wear_!" Walburga Black bellowed at her son, brandishing some state of the art dress robes at him. "Instead you insist on looking like some filthy _animal_ in those clothes you so desire to wear!"

The party had been talked about all day, and Sirius was sick of it already. The fact that Bellatrix and Narcissa would be there was bad enough, without mentioning the numerous amounts of other pureblood, high society, prejudiced wizarding folk that would be attending, asking him awkward questions about who he was to marry and how he would use his inheritance. He normally named some Muggle girl; though once he had experimented by telling them he was in a serious relationship with a werewolf named Remus and that they were considering taking it even further. He had received many disdainful looks from the attendees of the party and a lattice of bruises afterwards, but it had been fun.

"Animal?" Sirius's eyebrows shot up into his mop of black hair. "You might want to recheck your political correctness. They're called 'Muggles' now, Mother, and they're rather intelligent."

"Don't you talk back to me, boy!" Walburga snapped, reaching for her wand and pressing it into Sirius's jumper. "I may not be able to physically beat you like your father can, but I'm quite capable of a cruciatus curse!"

"They're illegal," replied Sirius with a tut, shaking his head in a disparaging manner at Mrs Black.

Walburga raised her wand.

"Go on," Sirius challenged her. "Curse me."

Walburga seemed to contemplate it for a moment. "You no good brat!" she snapped savagely, stowing the wand away, causing Sirius to smirk. "Just put the robes on!"

"Anything for my Mummy," Sirius said with a smile, before twirling away from her in a manner he knew would aggravate her most.

* * *

"I _love_ Christmas," Vera Lupin stated fondly as she wrapped a piece of tinsel around the tree.

"You could have charmed that," pointed out her husband, John, who was watching her over the brim of his _Daily Prophet_ with a smile playing at his lips.

"Yes, but where's the fun in that?" Vera snapped, hanging a bauble on one of the branches. "You purebloods don't do anything. It's a wonder you aren't all grey slobs. Tell him, Remus."

Remus raised his eyebrows at his mother. "Tell him what, Mum?"

"That all the fun is in the _manual _decorating of the tree!" Vera said as she brandished a sprig of holly, although her raised voice suggested otherwise. "When we were growing up, we used to love putting it up and decorating it. When we went to Hogwarts, of course, the trees were beautifully decor, but there was no fun in them. A Christmas tree is supposed to be like an _explosion_." She threw her arms out in an enthusiastic gesture, knocking the tree over.

John looked up briefly, stifled a laugh and returned to his paper. Remus smiled, standing up to help his mother.

"I think, now that we have had the experience of constructing the tree manually once, it's time to use a helpful charm," he suggested gently. Vera turned to look at him exasperatedly.

"It was a nice thought," she assured herself, before flicking her wand out to sort out the disarray of Christmas ornaments on the floor. At once they began to mend themselves, the tree righting itself into its original stance (though it seemed a little less wonky) as baubles and tinsel danced around it, shrouding it in sparkly decoration.

"I hate Christmas," snapped Vera, letting go of a struggling strand of tinsel so that it could join the other ornaments.

Remus smirked. "Well, I'll cook for us tomorrow then," he offered kindly. "Take the stress off your shoulders. Providing you have already bought the food."

Vera clapped a hand to her mouth. "I can't believe..."

"You've forgotten the turkey, haven't you?" John smiled knowingly. Vera looked very upset by this fact.

"I've ruined Christmas!" she moaned.

"Dad and I figured you'd forget," Remus told her gently. "So Dorea and Charlus bought an extra one. I'm to collect it tonight. I have my orders."

Vera looked relieved. "What would I do without my beautiful boys?" A smile split across her previously despairing face, lightening her features.

Remus smiled.

**

* * *

**

"I think the tree should be red and gold," James stated with a smirk.

Dorea turned to glare at him amiably. "Green and silver's better."

"Ugh, no," James grinned. "Red and gold. Tell her, Dad."

"Why are we even debating this?" Charlus asked with a smile. "No tree of mine will be decorated in anything other than the colours of Godric."

"You two team up against me," Dorea sighed theatrically. "Slytherin's not that bad."

"Slytherin is awful."

"You're half-Slytherin."

"I'm a bloody Gryffindor."

"I'd have been disowned."

"Sirius hasn't been."

"Sirius will be," Dorea finished triumphantly. "Then he'll have to come and join our merry band of Black breakaways. Andromeda, he and myself. We'd be brilliant together."

"The tree's still being red and gold," James smiled. Dorea raised her hands in surrender.

* * *

"Mum told me to come and get you."

Sirius didn't even bother to look at his brother. "Did she now?"

"She said if you were dressed like a mudblood then she'd send Dad up for you."

"Send the bastard up. He can do his worst."

Regulus started to sound a little desperate. "Please Sirius. I think he's going to really hurt you."

This wound Sirius up. He rolled his head to face his brother. "And you've chosen this particular moment to start caring have you?" he asked, his tone causing Regulus to flinch. "That's all very shit, Regulus, but I don't care anymore. Just leave me alone."

Regulus bit his lip. Sirius raised his eyebrows.

"Are you still here?" he asked nastily. The younger boy rolled his eyes.

"I tried to warn you, but would you listen?" he said. "Don't expect me to call the healers when Dad beats the shit out of you."

"Shit's a nasty word," snapped Sirius, rolling back over. Regulus didn't even dignify his response with an answer.

* * *

"I've lost a sock."

"Well get another one then."

"I can't get another one," growled Peter, looking up at the one who had offended him so. "It's my only one! They were limited edition Quaffle socks signed by the Tutshill Tornados! They cost me four galleons!"

Peter's brother looked up with raised eyebrows. "I think you'll find judgments are easily passed on somebody who spends that much on a pair of socks."

"Shut up, Benjamin!" Peter squeaked crossly. "I _have_ to find them, Mum'll kill me if I've lost them."

"So Mum bought them for you?"

"No, but I promised her that if I spent that much money on them I'd look after them!" Peter said, desperately lifting up each of the cushions on the settee in his frantic search. "Oh, Merlin! !"

"I'm thinking of leaving," Benjamin said at that moment.

"You don't live here anymore anyway," Peter snapped, not bothering to look up. "Shit shit shit, where are they?"

"I mean, leaving the country," Benjamin expanded. Peter stopped where he stood. "It's just the society will frown on India and I marrying here. We'd have to do it abroad."

"You're going to leave me here?"

Benjamin bit his lip as he nodded. "But you could come and live with us after school..."

"No thanks," Peter said coldly. "Go leave the country with precious India. Leave me and Mum. Break her heart."

"Pete..."

"You know she's ill, don't you, Ben?" Peter continued sourly. "You know she might die? Or did that pass completely over your head?"

"Pete..."

"Apparently, the death of our father caused it," snapped Peter. "Emotional stress. Perhaps if you left, it'd finish her off and you'd be happy."

And he left the room before Benjamin could even attempt to explain himself.

* * *

"What did you get?" asked Vera enthusiastically. Remus looked at the hat that had fallen out of his cracker.

"A fez," he said.

"Brilliant," she grinned. "Much better than mine, anyway."

"Why, what did you get?" John asked her.

"A balaclava," she shrugged, before pulling it on. "Does it suit me?"

"Not really, love," John said. "I prefer to be able to see your beautiful face."

"Oh please, not at the table," groaned Remus. "You're both like, fifty. Could you avoid getting horny around your son?"

They both laughed.

"You'll have to tell James to thank Dorea for us," Vera commented. "This turkey's beautiful."

"All compliments to the chef," John said dotingly, pulling on the bonnet that had emerged from the final cracker. "Does it suit me, son?"

Remus smirked. "It brings out your eyes."

"I _knew_ canary was my colour."

* * *

"More wine, Abraxas?"

_Of course Abraxas wants more wine, he's a freaking alcoholic_, thought Sirius bitterly as he sat at the dinner table, glowering into his plate. He hated these pretentious parties, filled with only those deemed the noblest pureblood families. Though of course, they never scrubbed up as well as the Blacks. It amused Sirius how many all seemed to have the same protruding nose. _Inbred_, he thought. _But me and Reg turned out okay looking_, he reminded himself.

"Just a drop, Walburga," Abraxas slurred in a drunken manner, though he still managed to solicit the words with an air of importance. Walburga's nose shrivelled a little as Abraxas continued, "Can't have your guests getting tipsy, can we?"

Sirius snorted, causing everybody at the table to stop and look at him.

"I do apologise," he said calmly. "I think I am ailing a cold." From the corner of his eye he could see Regulus smirk before pretending to cough into a napkin to hide his face. "Apparently my brother is sickening for it too."

With that, scraping of the plates resumed, and they took it in turns to ask Sirius questions.

"So, Sirius, boy, how old are you now?"

"He is fifteen," Orion answered for him.

"Sixteen, actually," corrected Sirius automatically. _But it's okay that you didn't send me a birthday card. I'll live._

"Do not speak out of turn, boy."

"Sixteen?" Davenport Bullstrode questioned. He scratched his obtruding chin with thought, before delivering his verdict. "Good strong age."

_That's ten seconds of my life I'll never get back_, thought Sirius. He smiled at Bullstrode.

"Sirius?" Orion prompted. "What do you say?"

"Oh, thanks," Sirius said hastily, though he wasn't sure what he was thanking Bullstrode for. One look at his father's face showed him that this wasn't the right answer. "I suppose it is."

"It's a shame about the Sorting, isn't it?" Adrianne Goyle commented.

"It's a sensitive subject," Walburga pitched in before Sirius could ask what shame she was referring too. So many shames. "Sirius has an underlying condition which we are sure to treat. Nothing too serious, though sometimes he acts a little odd, like he's addled. It's like he's Confunded. He will be a satisfactory heir, but Dumbledore refuses to allow the boy a re-Sorting. Therefore we shall merely glance over the fact that he was Sorted into the wrong house."

Sirius looked up with wide eyes at his mother. What was this shit she was spouting? He wasn't mental; if anything he was the sanest of the lot of them! Walburga shot him a glance that suggested clearly that if he opened his mouth, he would be cursed into oblivion.

"Oh, poor soul," Adrianne cooed, her expression towards him changing to one of someone talking to a very small child who had grazed their knee. "Well, you're very brave, aren't you, Sirius?"

From then, people did not ask him questions, more questions about him to his parents. In a way, it was better not having to talk; he could concentrate more on quashing his anger.

Some of Bellatrix and Narcissa's Slytherin friends seemed to find this hilarious; Lucius Malfoy muttered something to Narcissa that made her snort in a manner similar to a donkey into her pudding.

He was starting to feel more and more livid.

"May I be excused?" he asked in a voice as civil as he could force it. Before he received an answer he was leaving anyway, perceiving a worried glance from Regulus.

He slammed his bedroom door shut with all his might before he began to tear it apart in anger, kicking the chest of drawers so hard that he thought he may have broken his toe.

"Shit!" he muttered, the pain that spiked through his foot only adding to his extreme fury. He could no longer contain it.

At some point during his rampage around the house in which he sent the row of elves heads flying, he alerted the prestigious group of people.

Narcissa, who obviously had been sent to check, shrieked back to them that he had gone "truly wild" and was tearing apart the house with no remorse. By this time more and more people had come to see what the eldest Black boy was doing, before Orion barged his way through and caught Sirius by the scruff of the neck.

Sirius, at once, blinked and looked around as if he had awoken from a dream. "Sorry, everybody," he said in shock. "It must be my condition."

The guests seemed to accept this and began to return to the dining room with minimal chatter.

Orion's comment was a breath. "You're going to regret this child." And he began to march him roughly upstairs to his room.

* * *

They had compromised in the end; red and green was after all the Christmas colour scheme, and gold and silver cutlery was used on the table.

That didn't stop Charlus and James sitting at the table with Gryffindor ties tied around their heads.

After a conversation that involved the three Potters arguing over just who was better at flying, the family had found themselves in the extensive grounds, James on his new broom, Charlus and Dorea on slightly older versions ("Unlike you, I don't _need_ a state of the art broom to kick your mother's arse"), racing each other around it.

Admittedly, Charlus had cheated like a pig, so the race was really between James and Dorea. And the outcome had been spectacular.

"SUCK IT UP BOY!" screeched Dorea as she zoomed triumphantly around the orchard. "The old Black girl's got it in her!"

"Humiliation to the highest degree," muttered Charlus to his son, who grinned. "Let me guess, you just _let _her win, did you, Jim?"

"It's Christmas," James shrugged with a smile, and he clapped his father on the back. "Bad luck, Pa."

* * *

_Peter,_

_I'm sorry. I have to go. _

_Maybe one day you could come and live with us, you and Mum. It'd be cool to see you both again. Or maybe you hate me now and you don't care anymore._

_Whatever._

_The thing is, I just wanted to say, I'm sorry I'm a crap brother. I should be there more to help you, what with Mum being ill. It's just... you know me Pete, I've never had so much as an ounce of responsibility in my entire life before. I'd have fallen apart. You're made of stronger stuff. If it was you who was leaving, you'd face me with your parting words._

_I'm a coward, I know._

Peter's hands shook from anger. He had abandoned him completely now. He'd gone. He was probably far away now. He hadn't even left an address.

Peter turned the page over in search of one tiny contact detail. On the other side of the parchment he found writing. His heart leapt up in hope, only to be dropped again.

_P.S. It's me who took the sock. I wanted something to remember you by. I left four galleons in my dresser._

Peter sighed miserably as he stood in the dark house, willing back the tears that threatened to spill over his eyelids.

"Merry Christmas, Wormtail," he mumbled sadly, before curling up into a ball and letting the tears come.

**Hope it was okay! :) Even if a bit Sirius heavy yet again :)**


	13. In which Sirius gains freedom

**It's been four entire days and I have rewritten this particular chapter twice. I feel as I have said it before, this chapter is incredibly Sirius heavy, but I just wanted to write how he ran away. It's also very serious (Because it's about Sirius, geddit... that was crap.) and I'm sorry =[ I'll have a lighter chapter up next time.**

**Thanks to: Brittany di Angelo, Loki, Slytherin1992, swimdiva87, Rebel Way and Scandalacious Intentions for reviewing my previous chapter. :D**

The assemblage of purebloods had returned home by the time Orion lifted the body-binding curse keeping his eldest son quiet in his room, and by then, Sirius was livid enough to stare his father back.

They stood for a moment, grey eyes meeting steely grey, neither speaking, until Orion grabbed Sirius's shoulder and began to march him down a floor and into a long room that was virtually empty bar a dusty piano and some long green curtains that created a sense of impending doom. Walburga and Bellatrix were also in the room; evidently Narcissa and Regulus were entertaining themselves somewhere else. Both of the ladies present seemed to be waiting for something maliciously amusing to happen.

Orion also seemed to be preparing himself in the silence, building up his suspense before he launched himself into his speech. Sirius could see rage in his eyes, though he couldn't understand why _he_ was angry, _he_ wasn't the one who suffered injustice and pain every year, _he_ wasn't the one who was made to feel shameful and was ridiculed in front of his parent's friends, _he_ wasn't Sirius...

And then they both spoke at once, Orion in his deep threatening boom what was sure to be a frighteningly impressive lecture.

Unfortunately for him, Sirius was louder.

"I hate _all of you_!" he found himself bellowing, forcing each of their sneers to twist into angered shock. "You're all fucking ridiculous! You're a laughing stock! Especially you, _sir_, with your bullying and shit! Mum's only _with_ you because she's scared that if she leaves you'll kill her!" His mother winced out of the corner of his eye; he'd struck a nerve. "I can't _believe_ I've been stupid enough to _put up_ with you all my life! What kind of parents _treat_ their son like this?"

"Don't you _dare_ speak to your father like that," Walburga's voice shook.

"You're not _worthy _to speak such words!" agreed Bellatrix angrily, pointing a quivering finger at him that only increased his vehemence.

He turned on her next, unable to stem the venom. "You're full of shit! You say you're so pure all the live long day but look at you! You're nothing more than the Dark Lord's _whore_!" As soon as the words had emerged from his mouth he knew he was in trouble, but he didn't care. He had never been this livid before, he was shaking and he felt a little lightheaded from the rush.

The last thing he heard was Bellatrix screech in fury before he was on the ground, agony ripping through each and every nerve cell. He couldn't help it; he screamed, screamed so loud that he was sure his throat would explode from the pain. Then another scream joined the din, and the spell lifted. He lay, exhausted, rasping cold air in an attempt to try and restore his inhalation ability.

"Leave him alone," the screamer said firmly, and Sirius recognised the voice to be his brother. His breathing stopped. What was Regulus doing?

He pushed himself up onto his arms with great effort and opened his eyes. The world swam dizzily before him.

"Get away from him," hissed Orion. "Get away from that _vermin_."

Sirius laughed sourly and stood up. He was all too aware he was shivering. "This is what I think of you," he said, "and this is what I think of your Noble and Most Ancient House of Bastards." He spat on the ground.

Orion grabbed Sirius by the shoulders, and for a moment, real fear washed over the boy. "I want you out of this house," he said quietly, "and I want you never to return."

"Oh, yes sir," grinned Sirius, before Orion threw him across the room and into the piano and proceeded to storm out, Bellatrix and Walburga in his wake.

Regulus hovered by the doorframe until they were out of earshot.

"Sirius!" he hissed, darting forwards to help his brother shakily to his feet. "Shit, Sirius. Shit."

"Don't swear," Sirius groaned. "Don't speak. It hurts my head."

"Get to Potter's now," Regulus instructed him. "I'll pack your stuff and give it to you at school..."

"I'm already packed," Sirius informed him with a humourless chuckle. He opened his robes to reveal a small draw string bag. "It's enchanted. I've got all my stuff. As usual."

"I'll help you to the door," Regulus told him, but Sirius shook his head. "You'll get into more trouble, Regulus. Just... leave it."

Regulus nodded, blinking. "Why did you have to do it?"

"Do what?"

"Fuck everything up," he said miserably. "We were happy and now..." He didn't bother to finish the sentence.

"Reg, it's never been anything _but_ fucked up," Sirius said calmly. "If anything, I've sorted it out. You'll be fine. The sun shines out of your arse as far as their concerned." He smiled. "Thanks, little brother."

"I'll miss you," Regulus said earnestly, and Sirius felt his heart lurch.

"If I knew you'd be this nice, I'd have left sooner," he joked weakly, before enfolding his brother in a hug. "Now, shush. Go back to your room. I'll take my grand exit alone."

* * *

"It's three in the fucking morning, you bastard!" James snapped angrily into the mirror as he fumbled for his glasses. "If this is your insomnia again I'm going to... Fucking hell, Sirius, what happened?"

Sirius looked a wreck in the mirror, pale with a bleeding mouth and a nasty gash across his forehead, but he was smiling.  
"Could you let me in, dear?" he asked cheerfully. "Only it's fucking freezing out here and I don't have a key."

James scrambled to his feet, slipping into red and gold slippers and throwing himself down the stairs to the front door to be greeted by Sirius, whose grin now looked forced.

"I know it's not very manly," he said, his voice thick, "but I could really do with a hug right now." His grey eyes were brimmed with tears. "Shit," he whispered as they began to glide down his face. "Shit. I'm such a fucking girl. I'm sorry, James, I just... I just... oh _fuck_..."

"Sirius, what happened?" James asked, and he pulled his friend into an awkward hug where they stood, Sirius apologising for crying and James trying to suss what had happened, until Dorea came down the stairs, jet black hair tumbling from its rollers. "Sirius?" she questioned briefly, before she said, "Oh, my dear, what happened?" She peeled her son away from Sirius and engulfed the boy in her own hug.

* * *

"I'm sorry," sniffed Sirius later. He was bundled up in a duvet on the sofa with a mug of tea pressed into his hands in the Potters living room, all three of them watching him intently and anxiously as if he might burst into flames any second should they blink. "I'm such a wet blanket."

"Don't apologise," Dorea said, before James input, "Never cry again, Padfoot. It's not right; it should be Peter who's the wet blanket."

Sirius laughed and blinked. "I'll go to Andromeda's in the morning, get out of your hair."

"Nonsense," Charlus snapped brusquely, making them jump. They had been the first words of the evening. "She has a young child to worry about. No, you'll stay with us."

Sirius's eyes widened. "I couldn't..."

"Let's not pretend that you don't want to, given the opportunity, or that we wouldn't want you to either," smiled Charlus. "You're here most of the summer anyway; why not make it the whole of it?"

Sirius felt overjoyed. "If you're sure... I'd love too..."

"Would I make an offer like that if I wasn't absolutely certain it would pay off well?"

Sirius was positively beaming. "Thank you, sir."

"Don't call me 'sir', either," grinned Charlus. "It makes me sound ancient."

Sirius smirked. "Thanks mate. Is that better?"

"Oh, much."

"Come join our merry band," Dorea smiled. "We're all outcasts together."

"I'm Robin Hood, of course," grinned James. "He is, after all, the dashing hero of our story. Lily Evans shall be my Marian."

"If your head inflates anymore, young man, there'll be an eclipse," smirked Dorea.

"That'll solve all Remus's problems though," pitched in Sirius.

"See, Mother, just helping the world," James said. "I just give, give, give, and then I just give some more."

Dorea raised her eyebrows sceptically, but said nothing.

Sirius smiled. This was what a family was, not his own garbled mess of inbred relatives placed in one large dysfunctional house. This was a real family.

And now he was part of it.

_Bloody hell_, he thought. _I'm freeee._

**Bye :D**


	14. In which Remus is discriminated against

**Goodness me. This chapter is not only short, but unfeasibly crap. I apologise! I'd write a better one but this one has taken me SO FRICKING LONG to write!**

**Hopefully a better one next time (Oh, hold on, I'm getting déjà vu.)**

**Love all of you. :D**

"Good Christmas?"

"It was... feasible," smirked Sirius. He looked at James with a wink. "It picked up towards the end."

"What happened at the end?" asked Peter in a voice that didn't sound vaguely interested.

"Justice happened at the end, Pete," Sirius smiled. "How about you? You seem pretty low."

"Oh, just Mum, y'know," Peter said with a forced grin. "Nagging and stuff."

"Oh," Sirius said, his gaze lingering on Peter a moment as he said, "how about you, Remus?"

"Good thanks," Remus smiled. He seemed to reconsider this. "Although, I was rather chocolate deprived, actually."

"Pray tell," Sirius said, cocking an eyebrow.

Remus grinned. "My mother decided to try and make a chocolate gateau."

"A chocolate what-oh?"

"Gateau," repeated Remus. "It's a cake."

"Why didn't you just say cake? That'd have been easier."

"_Anyway_," Remus said loudly, "being my mother, she forgot to buy a cake mix. And being my mother, she decided that she would start the cake from scratch by using some of my Honeydukes chocolate. Needless to say, by the time she was finished, both the chocolate and the gateau were inedible."

"Oh, you poor little boy," James said in mock sympathy. "Ill-deprived; were you forced to eat vegetation like the common British wizard?"

"I love a man with a healthy appetite!" Sirius said in a high-pitched voice.

**

* * *

**

"Thank you to our excellent house elves for that wonderful feast," Professor Dumbledore said as quiet began to fall around the hall. Peter had fallen asleep on his plate; luckily he had left no food to dirty his cheek. "It was indeed scrumptious, and pleasantly filling. Indeed, I am drowsy now, so I won't keep you all too long. I am sure you are anxious to catch up in your common rooms tonight." His eyes twinkled knowingly as a titter of laughter passed through the hall. "For now though, I would like to heed a warning.

"Last night, several Death Eaters tried to penetrate the Hogwarts wards. Of course, thanks to our excellent staff, none of the students in the castle or any of the teachers or residents of the forest received any harm.

"However, they came frighteningly close to seizing the castle, which brings to me to lay down a few extra rules for your safety. Students should under no circumstances leave the castle past eight o'clock in the evening. Whilst they are still free to roam the castle until their year's curfew, the grounds will be prohibited."

Sirius poked Peter with his fork; Peter awoke with a little yelp, looked wildly around and glared at Sirius, before attempting to jam his own fork in the other boy's hand.

"As for now, we assume that the common rooms are the safest place in the castle, in case of another attack."

"Gryffindor's is safest, though," James whispered to Sirius, who was holding Peter's arm away from him in an attempt to try and rescue his hand from danger. Sirius turned to raise his eyebrows at him.

"I know I'm no Voldemort," he said, rolling his eyes when Peter flinched visibly, "but I doubt the Dark Lord of All Iniquity will take on a Hufflepuff for his Evil Protégée."

"Fair enough," James shrugged.

"And finally," Dumbledore said, and James was absolutely certain his eyes were glinting at him, "It appears that we must, once again, remind our students that the Forbidden Forest is not just a name. The Forest is inevitably forbidden, and this applies to all of you. Whether you think it is chivalrous, or whether it is for a deeper reason, such as friendship or loyalty, I must remind you that the Forest can be very dangerous at times. The Whomping Willow is planted to ward off the Forbidden Forest for a reason other than to look pretty, or to play brash games with." He was definitely looking at James now, who grinned at him. There was a small crash from next to him; Peter had given up trying to fight Sirius again and had collapsed in a tired heap on the table.

"And I think that is enough from me. Alas, I see row upon row of blank faces, and fork related maladies." He smiled. "I think that it is time for us to all go to bed."

"Hear hear," Peter mumbled sleepily from his dinner plate.

* * *

"Excellent, Muggle Studies," Sirius said, clapping his hands together and rubbing them enthusiastically with a beam.

James looked up with a disgusted face. "Muggle Studies is as boring as shit," he said pointedly.

"_Yes_," Sirius agreed impatiently, "but MacDonald stayed at Hogwarts this year, and she can't keep her mouth shut."

"I don't get it," Peter confessed.

Remus rolled his eyes. "He wants to know what went on at Christmas, probably so that he can swear a lot about his family and whinge about them until our ears are bleeding."

"You read my mind." He looked out of the window wistfully. "If they ever attack school when we're in it..." He let the thought tail off.

"Is it wise to strike conversation with Mary at the moment?" asked Remus wisely.

"Oh, on first name terms with her, are we?" Sirius teased with a raised eyebrow. "Myrtle won't be pleased."

"Shit," Remus said, "Myrtle. We said we'd visit."

Sirius groaned.

"We promised, Sirius," Remus said flatly.

"Yeah," Sirius sighed.

"Am I missing something?" Peter asked with a frown. Sirius shook his head.

"She's missing Remus," he told him. "That's all you are required to know."

Peter harrumphed.

* * *

"I don't think I can stay awake any longer," yawned Peter. "I h-h-hate Astronomy. Why does it have to be so late?"

"Our own little star's fast asleep," James smirked, gesturing at Sirius who was curled into a ball in the armchair, grey eyes restless beneath his shadowed lids.

"It's all that hard work he's been doing lately," Remus said, good humoured sarcasm in his voice.

"I'm surprised they made him continue with Astronomy," James admitted. "All the times he fell asleep at the telescope..."

"Saying that, it's strange they allowed _you_ to carry it on, what with the 'incessant tomfoolery'," said Remus with a smirk, quoting Professor Crane in a good mimic of his wispy little voice. James grinned.

"Well, you can't expect me to just _let _him sleep, when it's such a great joke opportunity, can you?"

"There's this thing called restraint," Remus said sarcastically. "It might come in handy for this lesson because I don't think someone's going to be able to stay awake for it." He glanced over at Sirius, who hadn't stirred at all.

"Do you know what a-annoys me the m-m-most?" Peter said through another yawn. He sat waiting expectantly for someone to say "What, Peter?" in interest. When no-one spoke, he continued. "How he can sleep through absolutely anything."

"I know what you mean," agreed Remus.

"Then you understand my need to wake him up?" James asked hopefully. Remus raised his eyebrows.

"Go on then," he said, as if he was allowing a small child to pick a tube of sweets from Honeydukes costing two sickles or less. "We need to go soon anyway."

James grinned, before launching himself on top of Sirius, who jumped so violently that he fell off of the chair and smacked his head on the sharp edge of the marble fireplace.

"Shit!" he gasped, his hand flying to his injured head. "Bloody hell, Prongs, what the _hell_ did you do that for?"

James laughed, and helped Sirius to his feet, the boy still groaning.

"It's Astronomy, dearest," James said brightly.

"Can't we have a night off?" asked Sirius miserably. "I'm cream crackered."

"Have you done your star chart?" Remus enquired with a raised eyebrow.

"No," moaned Sirius. "Was it important?"

"Sirius, it's going to be graded."

"Bollocks." He looked up and blinked blearily. "Please can I bunk?"

"If I have to go, you're going too," snapped James. "I'm not facing Evans alone."

"Evans," groaned Sirius. "She's gone all deep on me."

"Oh, you've been having conversations with her, have you?" the other boy said, eyes inching up into his hairline. "Quite friendly with her, are we?"

"Lay off, James," Sirius mumbled. "I feel rotten."

Remus snorted at this, but said nothing, merely led the way out of the common room.

* * *

"Where's Professor Crane?"

They had just entered the classroom in the tower, waiting to be dragged out onto the cool platform, only to notice that the withered old man had disappeared, and had been replaced by someone a lot younger, thinner and more formidable looking.

"Professor Crane?" the woman asked with a small laugh. "Professor Crane's family were attacked by the Dark Lord. He has gone to spend time with them."

"And Dumbledore hired you?" Sirius asked bluntly.

The woman surveyed him coldly. "Sirius Black, I suppose? I remember you. Still obnoxious?"

Sirius shrugged. "Why do you call Voldemort the Dark Lord?"

"That's his name, isn't it?" she said with a shrill and humourless laugh. "Sit down, Sirius."

Sirius didn't move. "I thought that's what the Death Eaters called him."

"Sirius, need I ask you again?" she asked, forcing a smile on her face.

"You could call him Voldemort," suggested Sirius. "Nobody minds much, do they Remus?"

"Mr Black, could you and your friends kindly seat yourselves?"

Sirius scrutinized her face as if trying to recognise her.

She glared at him. "Sit down, or I'll make you."

"Don't threaten him," snapped James. "Who do you think you are?"

"Your teacher," she replied sternly. "Sit down, all three of you."

James brushed past her with one last glower, before seating himself in a desk, Remus swift on his heels.

"Your parents were right about you," the woman said with a raised eyebrow to Sirius. "You're a headcase."

She turned to the front of the class and pointed her wand at the board, causing silky white letters to web out onto it, displaying her name. _Professor Avery_.

"It is uncertain as of this moment how long I will be here for," she said, and Sirius was unsettled by her smile as she explained the reasons of her employment. He realised he recognised her from the infamous dinner party; she thought he was insane just like every other pureblood in the country thanks to his dear parents. He slouched miserably in his chair.

Professor Avery sat on the edge of her desk and gazed out at each of the students. "Well, where are your textbooks?" she asked pointedly. "How are you supposed to learn without those?"

"You could teach us," Remus suggested. She threw him a glare like daggers.

"Okay," she said, not taking her eyes from him, "I have just the lesson to do." She straightened up and turned to the board, tapping it again. "The lesson today shall be theory work. I do not expect-"

"Will we be going outside at all today?" interrupted James, looking at her.

Avery turned to gaze at him. "No." She tapped the board brusquely. "Get learning."

Remus looked up at the subject, his mouth falling open.

_Lunar Cycles In Accordance With Magical Beings_

"What?" Sirius was heard to say loudly from the back of the classroom.

"Is there a problem, Black?" Avery asked coldly.

"Yes, there's a fucking problem," Sirius snapped, before he caught Remus's glance and stopped.

"Would you care to elaborate?" she asked with a smirk.

"Oh, no," Sirius said with a forced smile. "My illness, you know." He hated her.

"So, we'll start with you, Mr Lupin," she said in a silky voice. "Do you know of any beasts that depend on Lunar Cycles?"

"Well," Remus said, and he scratched his chin. "Centaurs use the Lunar Cycle in accordance with their Myths."

Sirius grinned as Avery looked rather taken aback.

"Is there any other creature that more specifically relies on the moon, Lupin?" she asked, her voice slightly cross sounding.

"The Moon Rabbit," Lily Evans said suddenly, catching all four of the boys' attention.

"The what?"

"It's an Asian Myth," she continued. "I learnt about it for International Day, and when I came here, Professor McGonagall said that all Muggle Myths are based on truth. So, the Moon Rabbit." She stared defiantly at Avery, who was now glaring at her.

"Number one, Miss..."

"Evans," Lily told her.

"Miss Evans," Avery said with a forced smile. "Number one, Miss Evans, you spoke out of turn, which is both discourteous and unacceptable. And number two, when referring to International Day, I do suppose you are inferring that you are of Muggle origins?"

"Yes," Lily said, her voice growing a little colder at this. "Is there a problem with this, Professor?"

Avery laughed. "Muggle fairytales are in no way based on truth. Muggles fail to see everything or anything. You can hardly count on a fairytale anyway, Evans, needless to say a _Muggle_ one."

"That's prejudice," Sirius said loudly, but Avery snapped across him.

"Shut up Black. Five points from Gryffindor." She turned back to Remus. "Any other beasts, Lupin? One that is perhaps proven to be real and perhaps, mutates? A werewolf, for instance?"

"Did you just deduct five points because _you_ were being racist?" Sirius asked angrily.

Avery ignored him. "A werewolf has what characteristics, Mr Snape?"

Snape cited the characteristics a carbon copy from the characteristics. Sirius was sure smoke was beginning to fume from his ears.

"Good," Avery said. "Figg, your opinion on werewolves."

"Is this Defence?" asked James angrily.

"No, this is Astronomy."

"_This_ is discrimination," Sirius said sourly.

"Mr Black, since you seem to have an opinion on everything," Avery said in a voice that sounded like she was struggling to keep control over, "Why don't _you_ answer the question? What do you think about werewolves?"

"I don't think anything about them," Sirius said. "They're not all crowded round in a classroom at the moment going 'your opinion on Centaurs, Fenrir?' and being all hoity-toity and prejudiced, are they?"

"Why do you defend them so, Black?" sneered Avery. "Are you one? That'd explain why you seem rabid."

"Rabid?" James snorted. "He might be a little bit on the odd side, I'll give you that. But _rabid_? Is he foaming at the mouth or something?"

"What's your name, boy?" she asked him.

"James Potter," he replied. "And you're bang out of order."

"Bang out of order?" repeated Avery with raised eyebrows. "For expressing my opinion? Your friend does it so frequently, and you do not demand that he stop."

"And what_ is_ your opinion?" asked Remus audibly, catching all three of their attentions.

Avery smirked. "That they are vile animals that only Muggle filth and their spawn worship like they are a gift from God himself when they would kill them as soon as look at them."

"Now _that_ is discrimination!" Sirius yelled at her, standing up so suddenly that his chair clattered to the ground.

Avery glared at him. "Get out of my classroom," she instructed.

"What? That's unfair!" James piped up.

"Evil bitch!" Lily snapped, surprising everyone. "He may be an arsehole but he doesn't deserve that!"

"Potter, Evans, get out as well." She glared at the rest of the class. "I will not have misbehaviour or disrespect in this classroom. Is that understood?"

They were at war.

**Oh, good God, that took a long time to write! Sorry, we've been decorating, and the little work I **_**have**_** done on FF was not for this story. **

**I'm working on four super long one-shots for each of the Marauders and have so far done Remus's alone. (Shameless advertising much? :D) I'm working on Peter's next, and you know when you have to bridge one idea to the next but you don't know how and so it's just verbal spew? Yeah, that's what I did here :D :D **

**I've got to go tidy my room now.**

**Anyway, I have an ISA tomorrow, and so although that in itself is bad, it ensues no homework, so hopefully I should have written another chapter to post soon-ish. (But it's not an unbreakable vow because otherwise I'll be like Charles Dickens and this will be my Mystery of Edwin Drood. **

**Btw, thank you for all your lovely reviews! It was nice to know that you liked my serious chapters and also the character heavy ones! I'll try and get in some character heavy ones for the other three as well; I love James and Remus, and Peter is... Well, I'll try to write one for Peter.**

**Byeeeee :D**


	15. In which Peter plays nurse

**So, just three days overdue really :D And it was Remus's birthday yesterday! Yayyyy! **

**Miss Melanie McKinnon (RainbowDust) has requested that Eddie MacDonald sort out Sirius for messing around with his sister. So just be warned :P**

**Thanks to Candy (Scandalacious Intentions), Mel (RainbowDust), Slytherin1992, more more more, walks-with-nose-in-book, FuzzyBee013, Brittany di Angelo, Swimdiva87 and every-rose-has-a-thorn for their lovely, if in some cases slightly kooky reviews. Cheers me dears, I love all of you.**

"Four weeks. Four fucking _weeks_!"

"Mr Black," McGonagall said with an amused smile, "I know you are angry, but I highly doubt that even in a time like this that that language is called for."

"Sorry, Professor," Sirius apologised, though he didn't look sorry. "Four bloody weeks of detention for sticking up for a mate, though. Who does that bloody woman think she is? She probably won't even be here for four more weeks. Why did you hire her? She's insane!"

"There are some things that the Headmaster does that even I do not understand, Black," sighed McGonagall.

"She's obviously a Death Eater," James said bitterly from where he sat, slouched in a chair in front of McGonagall's desk, Lily sitting with a pout next to him.

"Yes, Potter, I agree," McGonagall said with a nod. She frowned. "Don't you go repeating that."

James smirked.

"Then why, Professor?" Lily asked, speaking for the first time since she had insulted Avery. "Why has she been hired if everyone can _see_ she's a Death Eater?"

"Because the Headmaster seems to feel that though Lord Voldemort believes he has planted a spy in our midst, we have the advantage."

"How?" Sirius asked flatly.

"In a way that nobody else understands, in the usual fashion, I expect," McGonagall said, flashing her second amused smile of the evening. It was quite surprising how social she was feeling.

"Professor, can't you get her to take the detentions back?" Sirius asked crossly.

"No, Black."

"Can I quit Astronomy?"

"No, Black."

Sirius threw himself into his seat theatrically.

"What I can suggest," McGonagall said, "is that until Professor Crane decides to return..."

"We keep our heads down, do the work," James rolled his eyes. "We know, Miss, we've had the whole spiel before."

McGonagall's smile was obviously real now. "I was actually going to suggest quite the opposite. But if you boys would like to play by the rules, who am I to complain?"

Sirius's head shot up from his arms. "You're giving us permission to rule break?" he asked with wide eyes. He frowned. "How does that work? It's an oxy-wotsit."

"An oxymoron," Lily said, a sour tone to her voice. "I hate that bitch."

"Yeah, whatever," Sirius continued. "I you seriously _asking_ us to mess around?"

"As long as you refrain from doing so in any civil teacher's lesson, I should find it acceptable," smirked McGonagall. She straightened up in her seat. "Potter, Evans, you may go. Black, if I could have a word."

Lily looked round curiously at Sirius, but James put his arm around her and guided her from the room.

"Get off me, Potter," she said after a moment of contemplating his touch. "I don't need a chaperone."

The door swung shut behind them and she turned to lean against the wall.

"What are you doing?" James asked her with a raised eyebrow.

"Waiting for Sirius."  
"You can't stand him."

"No," Lily admitted slowly, "but in a choice between him and that cow of an Astronomy teacher, I'd grudgingly side with Black."

James grinned. "I knew you'd warm to us."

He thought he caught the glimpse of a smile.

* * *

The days were growing more tedious by the minute, what with the bitter cold and not even the promise of Christmas to brighten the occasion. Rain was coming down fast as was typical of Great Britain, but it was ice cold and misery-creating.

What with four weeks of detention over the top, James was not exactly in a cheery mood.

Sirius was also not in a good mood. Having the three of them been put in different detentions, Sirius's had ended later, and James had been treated to his outburst in the common room one evening.

"Four weeks! Four weeks of my life that I will _never_ get back! And for what? To clean out a room that Hogwarts hasn't known ever to _exist_!" Sirius had pushed an armchair over in the common room and kicked out at a table where two fourth years were playing chess. They gasped and moved abruptly.

"Sirius, maybe you should stop destroying the common room and tell me what's happened," Remus suggested, a hint of nervousness in his normally unshakeable voice.

Sirius's eyes were concrete grey and thunderous. "That knob gave me four weeks in detention for sticking up for you!" he yelled furiously, throwing another kick at the notice board, which clattered to the ground unceremoniously. "Fuck this!"

"Four weeks?" James said with raised eyebrows. "I'd _never_ have guessed that."

"_Yes_! Four fucking weeks! Every night from eight till late! I am _never_ going to pass my OWLs."

"Calm down," Remus demanded. Sirius looked at him like he was going to protest, then sat down violently.

"Now," Remus said in a voice not unlike McGonagall's your-being-unreasonable-as-a-spoon-Black voice, "What has she done?"

"Made me clean out her cupboard."

"Is that all?"

"No, that is _not_ fucking all," snapped Sirius angrily. "I got locked in it by Peeves."

James let out a burst of laughter that he could not repress. Sirius's iron hard glare turned to him.

"What the fuck's so funny, Potter?"

"Peeves, Peeves the bloody _poltergeist_ who _worships_ the ground we walk on, locked you in a cupboard?" James laughed again. "How could he do that? Wouldn't he just... I don't know... _glide through_?"

Sirius looked disgruntled as Remus began to laugh too. "He has his ways."

"I'm sure he does," James cackled. "Did he jump out on you? Oh, I bet he did!"

"Shut up."

"He spooked you! That's hilarious!"

"Look, I'm miserable," Sirius snapped. "Let me mope."

"I'm sorry," James said, trying to stifle the laughter as he spoke, "I just thought that when you started kicking things she'd done something serious like... fired an Unforgiveable or..."

Sirius smiled uneasily.

"Ah, mate," Remus chuckled, slinging his arm round Sirius's neck.

"I'm never going to live this down, am I?" Sirius asked with a smirk. He'd calmed down now; he could see why it was so funny to them.

But to him, it hadn't been.

He hated being locked in the dark. He had fallen and lost his wand, so he couldn't even cast _Lumos_ to guide his way to the lock. He had felt like an idiot when Marlene McKinnon from seventh year had let him out; he had snapped at her angrily, and she had got angry and shouted back. They'd never had a very good relationship.

"Well," Remus said, snapping Sirius out of his musings, "since you were both just sticking up for me, I guess I could help you with your homework."

"You're beautiful, Remus," James sighed with relief.

"I know," said Remus with a smile. "But don't you let Sirius here. We don't want to damage his ego any more than it has been today. Pushed into a cupboard by a freaking poltergeist. Only you, Black, only you."

* * *

"Oi," a voice behind James sounded in the common room one evening. "Potter! Where's Black?"

James turned to see lanky Eddie MacDonald standing behind him, looking a little flustered.

"Something up, Maccy D?" James asked with a grin. Eddie shot him an iron hard look.

"Where's Black?" he repeated.

"Why?" James asked.

"He's been fucking about with my sister, and nobody fucks about with her!"

"And by fucking about with your sister, what exactly is meant?"

Eddie glared at him. "Look, I have nothing against you and Black making shit of your lives," he said. "In fact, it entertains me. But when you drag my sister into the equation..."

"Ed," sighed James, reaching out for his arm, "you know Sirius."

"Is that supposed to be a comfort to me?"

James was about to answer when Sirius appeared through the Portrait Hole, looking pretty cheerful.

"Guess what?" he said gleefully, as James tried to warn him with his eyes that now was not a good time.

Sirius managed to remain oblivious to this. "Snape's got detention with Minnie for throwing dungbombs into my classroom! I'm so emotionally drained I feel practically giddy!" He noticed Eddie looking murderous. "Oh, hey, MacDonald. How's your sister?"

* * *

"Do you think he'll come round soon?"

"I don't know; I've never been hit in the head with a Beater's club."

"Maybe we should just leave him."

"James, he's your best friend."

"I know he's alive, isn't that what counts?"

Sirius lifted his head groggily and opened his eyes. "Did I just get smacked?" he asked sleepily. His head felt fuzzy and heavy.

"You got smacked a little while ago," Remus explained. "James was contemplating dressing up in a nurse's outfit if you hadn't woken up any sooner."

"Well, it'd only improve my attractiveness," said James with a fake pout. Sirius smirked and pushed him out of the way.

"What did he hit me for?" he groaned.

"Fucking about with his sister."

"He could have told me that."

"You should check for concussion," Peter insisted, and after much argument, he had Sirius sat on the sofa as he bustled about the room trying to find his 'Magical Maladies' copy.

"You're like my mother, Pete," James said with mingled disgust and amusement.

"That's not a bad thing," shrugged Peter. "After all, your Mum is stunning."

"No." Sirius looked thoroughly displeased. "My cousin was bad enough. But now you're infatuated with my great aunt? If you start getting the hots for me, Pete, let me know so I can change my identity, will you?"

"Well, you know, Padfoot, now you mention it, he does seem attracted to your hair," smirked Remus.

"Shut up, Moony, whilst your still ahead."

"The way it catches in the sunlight... You have Snape enthralled too..." James added. "It glints in the same way that your brother's does. Ahhh, Regulus," he sighed theatrically.

"Shut up!" Sirius yelled. "Shut up! Shut up! My ears!"

When James continued to muse about Regulus, Sirius smacked him with a pillow.

"You're an arsehole, Potter," he snapped.

"Am I?" James said with a grin, and he tackled Sirius to the ground. "Oh, contraire."


	16. In which Hogwarts is under siege

**It was Comic Relief/Red Nose Day in the UK on Friday, which is always phenomenal. I love it, but it's so sad as well. But anyway, that's not the point. The point is, I am an abomination to the most famous British Charity Day of all.**

**I forgot to buy a Red Nose.**

**I fail.**

"Where's James?"

Sirius looked up from his food to stare at Remus and shrug. "I have no idea where or what that boy does."

"You live in his house."

"That's as far as it goes," Sirius said with a grin. "I don't have a clue where he is, but if it was anywhere important, he wouldn't have shut up about it. Maybe he went to the loo."

"He'd have announced that," Peter put in.

"Well if you're so bloody smart, where is he?" Sirius snapped.

"Is it that time of the month?" smirked Remus.

"No. Fuck off."

"Then what's with this sudden mood?"

"I'm never moody," Sirius said, and his face changed to a smile so fast that it scared Remus a little. "I'm just misunderstood."

**

* * *

**

James had been locked out.

He wasn't sure exactly how; he'd been able to slip in and out easily enough. But the doors were now firmly locked, and there was no way of penetrating them.

James cursed; the rain was coming down heavily now, and he only had the flimsy cloak over his head to protect him. It was bitterly cold outside as well; he wished he'd brought a thicker cloak to wear over his shoulders. He wondered if anybody would realise he was out here. After all, none of the Marauders knew that he'd gone to visit Hagrid, and they certainly didn't realise that Hagrid wasn't in.

In fact, nobody knew he was out here. So why would anybody bother to open the door for him?

He was about to swear loudly when he heard a loud bang from somewhere above him.

Light burst across the sky, spidery clouds of silver webbing out across the dark cloud. He had a nasty feeling that they were the wards.

His blood ran cold. He was outside, in the rain, locked out and now the castle was being attacked. He understood why it was locked now.

There was an even louder bang, this time accompanied by a ripping noise, before a figure hurtled into shot, shrouded in black, face concealed by a sinister looking mask.

James knew from his core that this wasn't any ordinary visitor.

The figure dismounted their broom, and turned to beckon more silhouettes into the grounds. It made James feel a little dizzy attempting to count them.

The lead figure turned back to face the castle. "The Dark Lord _will_ be pleased," their voice sounded, revealing to James that it was in fact, a woman. She shook her hood off, releasing coils of raven hair, and removed her mask, revealing glinting grey eyes. _Familiar_ grey eyes. Grey eyes he saw every day in the form of his best friend.

"Fuck," he whispered, staring into the face of Bellatrix Black.

**

* * *

**

"What the fuck was that?" Sirius asked when a loud bang tore through the night outside, rattling the glass in the common room. A second followed in quick succession.

"That sounded like it did at Christmas," Mary MacDonald whispered noisily to Lily from the fireplace. "Didn't it, Eddie?"

Eddie held a finger up to silence her from where he was sat on the staircase, book open on his lap. He listened again.

The loudest ripped through the common room, this time causing several screams.

Sirius turned, wide eyed, to Remus. "You don't think..."

Remus dropped the knight he was trying to salvage from his Wizard Chess set, and stood to peer out of the window. Sirius watched cautiously.

"Shit," Remus swore. "Shit, Padfoot, look..."

Sirius moved over to where Remus was, and looked out of the window. The night sky had become distorted with silver smoke, illuminating the figures in black that were beginning to traipse across the damp grass.

"Bollocks," Sirius breathed.

"What?" Mary said suddenly. "Is it them? Is it the Death Eaters? Are we going to die?"

A wave of hysteria swept across the common room at these words, the noise level rising, climbing octaves with the crescendo.

Sirius looked at Remus, before he threw a vase and several heavy books off of a table and climbed onto it.

"EVERYBODY SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

Silence fell across the common room; faces turned to stare at Sirius.

"Right," he said, "Thank you. Now, number one, the Death Eaters are here, yeah. BUT. Number two, if we get all worked up, that's just going to make it easier for them, isn't it Remus?"

Remus nodded supportively.

"So," Sirius said loudly as Marlene McKinnon opened her mouth to protest, "We don't get ourselves into a state. Screaming only distracts, and it also draws the attention of the Death Eaters. We're going to have to keep a level head about us." He looked at them all.

"Are you putting yourself in charge of us all then?" snapped Marlene.

"Correctomendo," Sirius answered.

"And what exactly do you suggest we do?"

"I suggest," Sirius said, "that all first years return to their dormitories immediately."

There was a murmur of agreement from Eddie and, more surprisingly, Albie Dennison.

"I also suggest," he continued, "that second years do the same."

Remus looked up at Sirius. "How many defensive spells did you know in third year?" he asked quietly.

Sirius considered. "Third and fourth years should stay in the tower. I don't care whereabouts, if you must, you could be 'on guard' in the common room." He managed a reassuring smile to the first year he had once snapped at, who looked as if she was about to collapse on the spot. "The rest of us... I guess we'll have to make do with us fighting."

"This is definitely going to be a fight then?" Lily said quietly.

"Lily, sweetheart," Sirius said, in a tone that was surprisingly non-patronising, "I hope to God I'm wrong, but I don't think they're here for peaceful negotiation."  
Lily nodded sadly.

"Okay," Sirius said, addressing the whole room again. "If you don't want to fight, you don't have to. But we're Gryffindors. Now's the chance to prove it." He smiled at them all, and then turned to scan for James, a smirk on his face. "Prongs, grab your cloak, you've..." He paused abruptly. "Where the fuck is James?"

**

* * *

**

James watched as Bellatrix moved closer towards the doors.

She moved gracefully through the night, the smile on her face uncomfortably similar to Sirius's plotting one. She reached into her robes and pulled her wand out with one graceful sweep. She was pointing at the door – straight in front of where James stood. Her curse was going to go through his stomach...

"Bella," a voice from the crowd sounded, and Bellatrix turned back around. She was so close to him now that he could touch her... if he wanted to.

He took the opportunity to step to the side, out of the way of her wand.

"What do you want, Lucius?" she asked impatiently, and James realised it was Malfoy behind the mask. Malfoy had finished Hogwarts last year, but James had endured four years of utter loathing towards him. He hated him almost as much as he despised Snape.

"Just... be careful," he said carefully. Bellatrix rolled her eyes theatrically, and James was reminded once again of Padfoot.

Then it occurred to him – he was here. He knew spells. He could try and hold Bellatrix and her comrades off for a while.

He took in a deep breath, and wrenched the cloak from his head.

* * *

Peter wished he had shoes on.

The stone was cold beneath his feet, which were pounding on the ground as he struggled to keep up with Sirius and Remus.

Remus was like a streak of lightning as he hurtled down the stairs; Sirius who was also running speedily was still a few steps behind.

Peter hated Voldemort for choosing to attack whilst he was in his jimjams. He'd been planning on an early night as well, but now... that was out of the way.

The doors to the castle flew open and Peter stopped, deathly still.

Then, something happened that surprised even him.

He saw the light of a curse shooting upwards, and watched as it hit the staircase and ricocheted... towards Sirius.

"MOVE!" he bellowed, mustering the courage, and he launched himself at Sirius, knocking him to the ground just as the curse hit the wall directly where Sirius had been standing moments before. It was green.

"You saved my life," whispered Sirius incredulously. He sat up straight. "Thanks."

"No problem," Peter replied.

"Now is not the time for sentiment," Remus warned them. "We need to get back on track."

Peter nodded and pulled himself to his feet.

"Well, would you look at that?" Sirius said sourly. "Cousin Bella's doing well for herself."

Peter followed his gaze to see a woman enter the vast hall, jet black curls pulled from her face into a fashionable ponytail to reveal the cheekbones and grey eyes that distinguished the Black family so well. She was smirking, twirling her wand in her long fingers.

"OI!" Sirius hollered. "BELLA!"

Bellatrix looked up and fastened her gaze on him. Her face split into a cruel smile.

"Sirius," she said with a lilt on her tone. "Long time no see. Have a good Christmas after the party?" Her grin was particularly malicious at these words.

"Cut the bull, Bella," Sirius snapped. "Are you here for a fleeting visit or..."

"_Crucio_!"

Peter had never seen the Cruciatus curse be fired before, and he thought that he would quite like to never see it again. Sirius's eyes rolled back into his head as he hit the ground on his knees with a crunch that didn't sound healthy.

"BITCH!" bellowed Remus angrily. "_Stupefy_!"

Bellatrix's eyes snapped onto Remus with a meticulous laugh as she evaded the spell easily. "You need to get up earlier than that to catch me out, filthy Gryffindor! _Cruc_-"

"_IMPEDIMENTA_!"

It wasn't Peter who had bellowed the jinx. He wished it had been, but it wasn't.

It was James.

Peter watched as the jinx erupted from James's wand and enveloped itself around Bellatrix's crowd of Death Eaters. James was in trouble. It didn't take an alchemist to see that.

"Pete, help me!"

Peter's attention was dragged to Remus, who was helping Sirius back to his feet.

"What can I do?" he asked as he hurried towards them. Others were beginning to appear now; Peter looked down and saw Edna Hurst and her gangly friend from Hufflepuff appear from a passageway leading off from the kitchens and Eddie MacDonald and his gaggle of seventh year Gryffindors began to clatter down the staircase, swearing audibly.

"Just..." Remus never finished his sentence; he swerved out of the way of a curse in the nick of time and glowered down at the ground, where one by one, the Death Eaters were beginning to return to normal speed. "Oh, it's Fenrir fucking Greyback..." He let go of Sirius, who seemed to have regained his balance, and took off down the staircase. There was an angry scream from Bellatrix, and she moved her wand in a movement like a slash. James slumped to the ground.

"Sirius?" Peter asked desperately. "What should I..."

"What is going _on_ here?"

The door to a classroom behind them wrenched open, and Professor Slughorn's stomach appeared, followed by the man himself. He took one look at the scene, and pulled out his wand. "Merlin!" he exclaimed. "What's going on?"

Peter couldn't help but feel this was very plain to see.

"Bellatrix?" Slughorn spluttered. "Bellatrix Black?" He straightened his spectacles. "Am I seeing this right? A student, one of my very own House and all... is attacking Hogwarts?"

Bellatrix's face looked up, and Peter had a chill sent down his spine. He barely knew her, and yet she made his bones feel hollow.

"Oh, Sluggy," she sighed in a bored voice. "Shut up."

"Really..." Slughorn snapped, when a voice sounded from the staircase.

"What's going on here?"

Peter looked up to see Professor Avery leaning against the banister, fully clothed with her hair pulled back elegantly. Her eyes flitted over Peter, Remus, Sirius and Slughorn before passing down to survey Bellatrix and the unconscious James. A small smile tugged at her lips.  
"Bella, you're earlier than perceived."

"Evil bitch!" snapped Sirius from behind Peter. Avery rolled her eyes.

"Dear boy," she sighed. "We both knew it would end out this way."

"Dumbledore will stop you!" Peter piped up valiantly. Avery's eyes focussed on him, and Peter felt his cheeks redden, but he continued. "He knows all about what your antics!"

"Dumbledore's a doddery old fool to hire me if what you say is true," she sighed, rolling her eyes.

"Don't say that about Dumbledore," snapped Marlene McKinnon. "He obviously knew what he was doing; he wouldn't hire a stupid bitch like you under normal circumstances."

From next to her, sixth year Dorcas Meadowes nodded vigorously, her blonde coils bouncing up and down with her head movement.

"Wouldn't he?" She raised her wand.

And Peter shot into movement.

"EXPELLIARMIOUS!"

Nothing happened.

"Pete," Sirius said quietly, "mate, you cast the spell wrong."

**

* * *

"Will we die?"**

"Probably."

"But Voldemort's not here, is he?"

"Just means he can't be bothered to kill us himself."

Lily glared at Severus, but Severus shrugged.

"It's the truth, Lils." He sighed and lazily shot a stunning curse at one of the Death Eaters. "He's probably just attacking the school because it's a weak spot and will help in the infiltration of the Ministry."

"You've thought this through very well," Lily said with narrowed eyes as she disarmed a Death Eater from their hiding spot. She hated being crouched away in the shadow, but Severus seemed to think that they were at the tactical advantage; skulking around where no-one could see them.

"It's what anyone with any sense would do, Lily," Severus sighed, "so don't get all high and mighty with me and start lecturing me about my company."

"And don't get arsy with me when Hogwarts is being attacked!" Lily shot angrily back. "What if you suddenly get killed and the last thing we ever say to each other is something nasty?"

Severus grabbed her arm and pulled her from behind the statue. "Move."

"What?" she asked, confused. "Why're we..."

Her question was answered when a green jet smashed into the stone by her head. "Yeah, let's move."

They left the second floor corridor and hurtled down the staircase and into the hall. There were only a few Death Eaters who had managed to surpass the hall by smashing themselves through the window.

It struck Lily how young they all seemed to be; their twenties or even in some cases late teens. And she had thought that it would be the older members of the wizarding society who were so prejudiced.

Her eyes passed over the hall floor, where she could see about half a dozen teachers and a couple of seventh year Prefects dancing around the place, shooting complicated sequences of spells. Flitwick was the best to watch; he was a blur of movement and jets of light. He casually sidestepped a heap on the floor to take on a woman standing by it... or was it a person?

And then, she gasped. "Sev, is that Potter?"

_"AVAD-"_

_"__STUPEFY_!"

Adrenaline coursed through Remus's veins faster than ever at that moment. And it was explicable, too. His life had been four syllables away from death. And he had acted so fast, even he was surprised.

Fenrir Greyback hit the floor with a loud thump, his wand rolling from his hand. Remus swept it up quickly and tucked it in his robes, looking up to find his next opponent.

He walked backwards into someone, and turned round to see it was McGonagall.

"Oh, Lupin," she said. "Why can you boys _never_ keep out of the way-"

"Watch out!" he interrupted, pushing her out of the way of a jinx that had gone off fire from where Dennison had shot it. "TWAT!" he bellowed at Albie, who was shrugging.

An explosion of light tore through the room and everything went black.

**VAVAVAVAVADOOOM.**


	17. In which Lily questions the suspicious

**What is wrong with the updating stuff on here? Someone had to teach me how to update, and so, if she ever reads this by chance, thank you, Mercy Grant. I owe you BIG TIME. This is also for Mellymoo, who always badgers me to write, much as I love her ;) plus she said she hated me for leaving it on a cliffie :D Plus, she's sick, and so I want to cheer her up :)**

"What was that?"

"What was what?"

"I heard a bang."

"Well, perhaps you're imagining things, Lily."

"I'm not imagining anything!" Lily snapped. "It was a louder bang than there's been all evening! You must have heard it!"

Severus, who was kneeling on the floor, tapping the wall in a gentle manner, quill in between his teeth, rolled his eyes. "You're imagining things because you're worried that Potter is hurt. If you're so desperate to reunite with him then please, don't let me stop you."

Lily glowered at Severus. "You're in an awful mood for one who lectures me on being nice."

"I'm busy."

"And you want me to go?"

Severus turned around and narrowed his eyes at her. "I never said that."

"You told me to go back to Potter."

"You make an argument out of anything Lily," he said with a sigh. "You're really not helping with the ginger-temperament-stereotype, you know."

"Did you just call me ginger?" She put her hands on her hips, but she let it drop. Instead she watched him continue tapping. "What are you doing?" she asked, raising her eyebrows.

"If I'm right," he said, screwing his face up, "there's a secret passage around here somewhere. Regulus Black said that his brother was talking about it... We just have to find it and..."

"What?" Lily's mouth fell open. "You're trying to escape? You _coward_!"

"Not escape," Severus said hastily. "Get reinforcements from Hogsmeade."

"Reinforcements?" Lily narrowed her eyes. "What kind of reinforcements?"

"We'll find people to help us fight. We'll get them to raise an alarm to the Ministry. We just _have_ to get you out of here!" He looked at her with eyes that made her feel a little choked.

"You think I need protecting?" she asked quietly.

"No," Severus groaned. "Don't start your feminism on me, Lily. We don't have time. We just have to find the passage out of here..."

He continued to search when Lily heard a scream.

She threw herself out into the corridor, crashing into the banister and leaning over it.

There had been something odd about that scream, something that made her bones feel a little cold. It wasn't a shriek of pain, or sadness...

It was deriding.

"Sev!" she called behind her in a hiss. "_Sev_!"

Severus showed no sign of movement, and Lily glared behind her at his back. Realising she was very much on her own, she inhaled and began to creep down the stairs, wand gripped firmly in her hand. She was disturbed by the deathly silence; it enhanced her fear of the scream even more.

The stone was cold; she could feel it through her tights as she tiptoed down another set of stairs and entering the second floor corridor.

She looked around, eyes narrowed. Everything _seemed_ to be normal; the scream was too loud to have come from the ground and first floors, and yet too quiet to come from the third floor, and so it seemed like here would have been the place... but she could see no disturbances on the landing. Candles flicked, paintings slept... there was no apparent change.

Until she heard a creek.

"Hello?" Lily called out. Her heart was beating one for the dozen at the moment.

A girl appeared from one of the classrooms; Lily recognised her vaguely. Her hair was long and extremely blonde, and she herself was beautiful.

"Narcissa, isn't it?" Lily clarified with a curious expression. "Did you hear any-"

Her breath left her body and she crumpled to a heap on the floor as a blow to the back of her head was delivered.

* * *

"Did he kill them?"

_Prod._

"Where've they gone?"

"Dumbledore's the man."

_Prod. Prod._

"My head..."

"Shut up, a minute, I can hear shovelling..."

"Shovelling?" This time Remus could make out it was Sirius's voice as he felt six more prods on his chest. "Who the fuck shovels in Voldemort's armed guard?"

"You never know," Peter's squeak replied. "They could be shovelling!"

"Remus, tell him he's wrong."

Remus opened his eyes and blinked blearily. "What happened?"

"Dumbledore did some boomchikawow and we all ended up like this," shrugged Sirius.

Remus blinked again, his vision slowly sliding into focus. James was on the floor nearby, pale and slumped. Sirius was prodding him in the same manner that he had Remus.

Remus shook his head drowsily. "Say that again? Dumbledore did what?"

"Some boomchikawow," repeated Sirius. "It knocked everybody out. And now the Death Eaters are gone."

"He knocked everybody out..."

"I know, it was terribly badass of him."

"He knocked everybody out but everyone's waking up?" Remus repeated.

"Yep," Peter agreed.

"Then why hasn't James?"

It was a good question.

* * *

_Dizzy colours swirl round and round in his head. Or is he he? What if he's she? Or a cow? Or a non-gendered deity?_

_He lies on the ground, surrounded by autumnal leaves that fall into his face and sweep over his clothes. Or is he wearing clothes?_

_There is something above him... A burnt chicken, maybe? _

_The burnt chicken spreads _its_ wings... smoke smoulders..._

_And he falls, falls for miles and miles, until he lands in the proximity of his bed._

* * *

Sunlight crept across the dormitory floor, bathing the room with a soft yellow glow that illuminated the bed.

"Fuck you," Remus was heard to snap from somewhere to the side of James, and the curtains were pulled firmly shut, launching the room into welcome darkness.

* * *

When James awoke properly, he was bundled in a duvet in a small room that he did not recognise, Remus dozing in a chair nearby, Sirius's head lolling onto his shoulder. It was quite a picture.

He tried to speak, but regretted it when a feeling like fire seared up his oesophagus.

His head felt like it weighed a tonne.

And he _ached_.

He ached as if he had been hit by the Knight Bus and splattered out all across the tarmac.

"Oh!" a voice nearby exclaimed, and he turned his head, to which he regretted. Madam Pomfrey had entered the room in her usual bustling fashion. "You're awake."

She moved forwards and gripped his shoulder, causing him to wince. "Drink this," she ordered, before forcing a beaker into his mouth. He wondered if she was force-feeding him acid.

"Whappened?" Sirius spluttered from somewhere to James's left; he was obstructed by the grotesque beaker being forced into his throat.

"Black, Lupin, I think you should perhaps return to bed," Madam Pomfrey suggested. "Potter needs to stay here and heal."

"Jim's awake?" Remus asked in a bleary voice. James tried to answer and began to choke on the foul liquid. Pomfrey smacked him on the back.

"Y-yes," he spluttered. "What happened?"

"You went all badass on Bella," Sirius replied, standing up and rubbing his eyes. "But it's okay now, because you're awake." He grinned, clapped James on the shoulder, ignored his wince and departed.

"Sirius was worried," Remus informed James. "He just doesn't want to let on that he thought you might die."

"Did I almost die?"

"Well, we don't know exactly," Remus said, shifting uneasily. "Luckily Madam Pomfrey found a cure from all her remedies. She's a saviour."

Pomfrey smiled. "Well, that's exaggerating a little," she teased, before the door clattered open.

* * *

"What are you doing?"

Severus looked up to see Black in front of him. "Oh. It's you."

"Am I not allowed to be here?" Sirius asked him sourly. Severus raised an eyebrow at him.

"And am I not either?"

"I'm not having this argument with you," Sirius snapped. "I'm just trying to go back to bed. Can you back off?" He glanced over at where Snape was sitting. "Why are you there anyway? Snogging your reflection? It's very..." He tailed off, his face falling into an expression of shock. It wasn't any old mirror he was leaning against.

Severus surveyed his expression with curiosity, and Sirius forced his mouth shut. Maybe he didn't realise exactly what he had stumbled upon. "Have you seen Lily?" Severus asked delicately.

It took Sirius a moment to realise who Lily was. "Oh, Evans?" he seized the conversation change. "No, haven't seen her. She was talking to a first year last time I saw her." He grinned. "Even the first years she likes better than you, and they have nits."

* * *

Rosalind Dawlish had been Minister for Magic since nineteen sixty eight, and she had seen some things.

But of all her life experience, she had never seen Hogwarts be penetrated by the likes of anyone, and it heightened that fear of the dark forces working that lay in the pit of her stomach.

She watched the boy in the closed ward intently. He was a sort of yellow colour, she thought, his black hair pressed to his forehead. He blinked at her behind steamed up glasses, and she nodded, trying to stop her nose from wrinkling.

"This is the boy, I assume?" she asked Poppy Pomfrey, the matron.

"Minister, I object!" Pomfrey exclaimed, and Rosalind rolled her eyes. "However important and official your business is in here, bursting in on a sick patient is indecent!"

There was another boy sitting next to the bed, a curiously tired and sickly looking child that intrigued her. She looked away from him and back at Pomfrey. "We caught three Death Eaters."

"Only three?"

"Three is quite a lot, Poppy," Rosalind snapped angrily. It had taken them a lengthy amount of time to capture the three eighteen year olds and stow them away in their vault. "And we're making progress all the time." She lowered the volume of her tone. "There's just a possibility that there may be some still in the castle."

Pomfrey made a small hiccup noise of surprise. "Still in the castle?" she hissed. "How can they still be in the castle?"

"Our Aurors will find them," she promised. "Do you have a lack of faith in the Ministry, Poppy?"

"Yes, I do!" Pomfrey replied shrilly. "How long has it been since the attack? I thought Albus had eradicated them..."

"Yes," Rosalind snapped. "But we can't be sure..." She was bored of this argument now. "I've seen the boy. That's all I need."

She swept her head back in a movement of grace to dignify her position and stalked from the room.

* * *

Sirius was extremely tired when he finally managed to get back to the seventh floor. He wanted to throw himself onto his bed and never rise. He'd had the Cruciatus on him again, he'd been panicked about James all evening and he hadn't slept in roughly two days.

He was just turning the corridor when he was almost knocked over by a third year Ravenclaw.

"Watch it," Sirius snapped coolly.

"The party's spreading!" the boy informed Sirius with gleeful eyes. "Ravenclaw and Gryffindor shall merge!"

"What the fuck..." Sirius asked, glaring at him in confusion, before he heard very loud cheering and a rumbling, the sound of students flooding towards him in a stampede. "Bollocks."

**Since I wrote that, Mel got iller, I got ill, I got better, Mel got better and so now my A/N is pointless. Butcha know.**

**:D**


	18. In which James is envious

**Wow! It's been quite a while! **

**I have no legit excuse, so I shall not pose it to you. I shall merely apologise for being so lazy.**

**I'm getting a DFTBA mystery shirt courtesy of a friend's paypal account (I will pay her back, don't worry :P)... :P So excited.**

**And I'm bricking it for my English exam tomorrow, which is two hours and fifteen minutes of pure torture, followed by what is sure to be one stressful hour of science. But English... How can you practice other than writing? ;)**

**Anyway, now that's out of the way, on with the show!**

**(P.S. LUPIN **_**CAN**_** SING!)**

**Disclaimer: I've got nothing. Can't you see me baby? Look into my eyes, see I'm acting crazy.**

Sirius and Remus were still asleep when Peter woke up, and James was still in the hospital wing, wounds being attended to, and so it was that Peter found himself with very little to do.

Deciding that there was probably not a scheduled breakfast due to the previous night's incidents, Peter decided to go on a trip down to the kitchen to feed his growling stomach.

Despite the main staircases being a much faster route down to the Great Hall, Peter knew that there was a corridor on the sixth floor that would allow him to career around the catastrophic remnants of the events of the previous night.

Humming, he pushed the door open to the staircase that would take him to the place he needed to go, when he stopped.

_BANG. BANG. BANG._

Peter whirled around, heart beginning to race. He was facing a door; a door he hadn't been aware of before, but Hogwarts was full of tricks and this was probably one of them.

But now he was one hundred percent certain that this was a door made of wood, and that there was something on the other side.

The knocking rose in volume level and became increasingly more frantic, the poundings becoming heavier.

"Hello?" Peter called out. "Is someone in there?"

There was a call back, but it was muffled.

Peter gritted his teeth, anticipating what would be on the other side, and twisted the knob.

He raised his eyebrows.

"Lily?"

"At last," Lily sighed. "Hello, Pettigrew." And she toppled promptly into him.

* * *

James awoke feeling pleasantly warm and cosy. He was no longer disorientated by the hospital surroundings; he recognised it now as the private room that Madam Pomfrey confined Remus to after particularly gruelling transformations. However, though his surroundings hadn't changed, his head had. It felt clearer; the dull aching had vanished with the medicines that the matron had been giving him.

"Hello, Potter," a voice greeted him, and he pushed himself onto his elbows to see Pomfrey herself knitting in the corner. "Are you feeling better?"

"Much," James admitted. "Thank you," he added as Pomfrey's eyebrows pulled together. "Is it over yet?"

Madam Pomfrey's expression softened somewhat. "We think so," she told him gently, "although the Minister isn't quite sure." James noted the slightly bitter edge to her tone. Now he thought about it, he did have a fuzzy memory of the Minister. She was a formidable looking woman, Rosalind Dawlish, a woman with dark hair and a miserable face. She reminded him a little of Sirius's mother; the same nose, he supposed. But then they were all related, the pure-blooded families. Of course they would have some similarities.

"Anyway," Madam Pomfrey said abruptly, "I expect you can leave soon. I've left your things on the chair." She indicated a pine chair where he could see his possessions folded neatly upon its seat. He nodded.

"Thanks."

"Oh, and Potter?"

James looked at the matron.

"Just... be careful."

She smiled at him, before bustling out of the room in an industrious manner.

Several minutes later, after James had pulled on a jumper and jeans that Remus had obviously given Madam Pomfrey, he was ready to leave.

Sighing, he rubbed a hand through his hair as he left the room for the main ward, and stopped when he saw Peter next to one of the occupants of a bed.

Lily was awake; she was laughing good-naturedly at Peter's attempt at nervous humour, but it was obvious that she would rather be anywhere else. From Peter's expression, he would too.

"Oi, what's going on here then?" James called, walking towards the unlikely couple and turfing Peter out of his seat.

Lily's eyes locked coolly on James's. "Peter rescued me."

"_Peter_ rescued you?" James spluttered. "No offence, Pete," he added quickly.

"Yes, he _rescued_ me," Lily said, her voice becoming steadily more venomous. "Is there a problem with that, Potter?"

James shrugged and sneered, although he wasn't sure what about. "So you're a damsel in distress now. You're just angry that it wasn't me who found you."

Lily's mouth dropped open a little in anger. "What are you insinuating?"

James smiled. "Admit it, Evans. You put yourself in danger so that I would rescue you. Well, Evans, it was a good plan, but you'll have to try harder next time."

Lily glowered at him, and was about to protest loudly, when Madam Pomfrey returned from her office. "Bastard," she hissed, before leaning back into her pillows crossly.

James winked.

* * *

It took only a few days before the news of the siege had become old and the castle had returned to normal. Lessons for OWLs had resumed (although they were no longer allowed to practice in disused classrooms in groups smaller than seven) and Sirius and James had returned to their detention-earning behaviour, meaning that they were snowed under with work by the weekend.

"I don't understand why Flitwick always demands essays that are taller than him," Sirius snapped as he wrote in very large and loopy handwriting that he only adopted on the rare occasion he actually did his homework on a roll of parchment. "I mean, I didn't know there was that much to know about summoning and banishing charms. Christ."

Even Remus was having trouble with this particular essay. He couldn't for the life of him think of anything significant about the charms, and by the looks of things, neither did any of the textbooks.

"How many feet have you done?" James asked him curiously, noticing the lack of movement from his quill.

"I've done eleven inches," Remus told him, "and now I can do no more." He slumped onto the desk. "I'm going to fail charms."

Sirius, who was now scratching a diagram of a wizard trying to summon a cigar onto his parchment, looked up briefly. "You can't fail. If you fail, we all fail too."

"No, you won't, because you'll be doing your own exam." Remus groaned again. "But this really is haaard."  
James had also been subjected to many foul glares upon Evans's behalf; every time he so much as looked in her direction, he felt her eyes piercing the back of his head. Sirius always grinned at this.

"She's coming round, mate," he assured him with a toothy smile.

James couldn't help but think that the poisoned looks that Lily kept sending him were a sign to say that she would never even consider speaking to him unless it was to spit on him or swear, but he nodded all the same.

"Well, you can be best man at our wedding," he told Sirius. Sirius snorted, and continued with his doodle, a picture of Marilyn Monroe (whom they had been learning about in Muggle Studies) on Merlin's shoulders.

James continued to stare at Evans, who had turned away with a look of disgust, and smiled. If only they could get married. If only they would have children and live in a mansion with many cats. If only they would be rich and happy.

He sighed a little wistfully.

**I'm not particularly proud of this chapter. I did my English exam! And it was alright! But I hate this chapter.**

**Should have the next one up relatively sooner than this one.**

**Sorry for the long wait!**


	19. In which Remus gets an Outstanding

**Thank you guys for leaving the most beautiful reviews. My special thanks go to Scandalacious Intentions, WizardWay and Rainbow Dust, who left stunning reviews. Thank you also to GinnyWeasley77 and swimdiva87. Thanks kids!**

**AND SIRIUS IS WINNING ON MY POLL! :D :D (I'm a happy Sirius fangirl. Oh, and by the way, who voted Peter? I have nothing against this, I'm just curious :P)**

Exam season was drawing nearer and nearer, Defence against the Dark Arts heading the lot, and it was fair to say that most of the fifth years were currently terrified.

The teachers seemed to be stressed too; Professor Wyatt who was normally calm and composed spent a lot of time shouting at first years about unnecessary things, whereas Professor Vandever followed her students around telling them all about how they'd do alright if they remembered this, this and this.

After a large amount of "friendly" bullying on Sirius's part, Professor Kettleburn had allowed them to use his lesson for revision, and so the Gryffindor and Hufflepuff class sat on the lawn with books open, basking in the sunlight as they attempted to cram knowledge into their heads.

"If I revise any more, my head will explode," groaned James, dropping his head into his book and remaining motionless for the remainder of the lesson.

Remus, who seemed quite at ease switching between his Defence and Transfiguration textbooks every now and a grin, snorted briefly, before returning to transferring notes onto parchment. "I'm sure it won't James," he told him. "It's enormous now and it hasn't burst yet."

Sirius laughed and rolled onto his back. "It's made of elastic," he said, closing his eyes.

Remus nudged his friend. "Ay, ay," he said, "what's this? Soaking up the rays, are we?"

"Mmhmm."

"And you don't need to revise because...?"

"You heard what McGonagall said," Sirius said, tucking his arms behind his head.

"Did I?"

"She said I'd get by on natural talent alone, and with a face like mine, I didn't even need that." He grinned smugly.

"Really?" Remus said, raising an eyebrow. "With a face like yours?"

"You're just jealous because Minnie didn't say that to you," James said from where he lay. "'Oh Remus, you're just too handsome to be true... I want to touch you...'" He sat up and reached towards Remus with a loving expression on his face.

Remus leant back out of his way. "Gerrof, James. You're a twat."

James grinned.

"But honestly, she did say that," Sirius told them. "I was so pleased. Maybe I'm destined to be a page three witch."

"Okay, excuse me," Peter said, looking up, and the others could see he was cross. "You might be able to pass an OWL just because your hair's nice or whatever, Sirius, but I can't. I actually do need to study. And the way it's going right now is down the sewers, so shut up, okay?"

James forced a straight face. "You're right, Peter. We're all very sorry."

Peter glared at him, and harrumphed again, before returning to his book.

* * *

"I'm going to hit you if you don't stop smacking your lips together."

"I'm sorry!" Peter snapped. "I can't help that I'm bricking it for this exam."

"The exam's not till Tuesday," Sirius said, frowning from where he was, curled up in the chair by the fire with his eyes shut.

"It's Sunday now!"

"Exactly, we've got ages."

"We've got less than forty-eight hours and I still don't know how to recognise the signs of a werewolf!"

Sirius snorted.

"I don't understand why we need those skills anyway," James announced from where he sat flicking through his dog-eared copy of _Quidditch through the Ages_, a chocolate frog in one hand. "I mean, if you see this giant hairy thing sauntering towards you in the middle of the night, you aren't going to stop and look for all the details, are you?"

"No," Remus said, amusement in his voice. "You're going to go straight back to your dormitory and devote your life to becoming an animagus so that you can keep said hairy beast company."

"Don't be ungrateful."

"Piss off." Remus ran a hand through his hair and glowered at the fire.

James, who was still grinning, looked up at Remus, noticing how miserable he had suddenly turned.

"Is that time of the month approaching?" he asked gently. Remus nodded slowly.

"In between Potions and Care of Magical Creatures," he said. "My two 'fail' subjects."

"You won't fail, Remus," Sirius told him flatly. "You've never failed anything."

"No, that's not true," snapped Remus. "I _have_ failed before, I've just never shown you the grades."

Peter dropped the book he was holding. "You've _failed_ before?"

"Pete, I've had three T's and an ungraded on the same test before. I think that surpasses failure."

"What was it in?" James asked with a little too much glee in his voice.

Remus didn't look too happy. "Potions," he told them quietly. "Slughorn hates me!" he insisted as James spiralled into laughter. "He's conspiring against me, I know it." He frowned. "Stop laughing, James," he snapped, smacking his friend with his textbook.

"How the... hell... did you manage to do that?" James hiccupped. "That's hilarious, Remus, that really is."

"It was full moon the night before and _someone_" – he glared at Sirius, who was humming – "decided that it would be hilariously funny to hide my essays which I had laboured over day and night to get a satisfactory grade."

"It was first year Remus," Sirius shrugged. "I didn't know that you were a werewolf. I only knew that you were shit at potions."

"Anyway," Remus continued, "I came back, and we had an hour before potions, so I decided to reread my essay."

"Thank God for OCD."

Remus threw a scowl at Sirius, before returning to his story. "Slughorn had ordered those three assignments, remember? And Sirius had nicked all three. So, I had to rewrite them in an hour, but obviously they weren't nearly as good."

"Boohoo." Sirius opened his eyes and rolled them. "That's not failure, Remus, that was me fucking about with your homework. It's my fault that I hid it."

"That's not the point."

"I still have the essays if you want them."

"You've kept them?"

"Remus," Sirius said flatly, "I quote them. How did you think I got an O in my last Potions test?"

"That's not the..." Remus stopped. "You got an O?"

"Of course," Sirius said, shrugging indifferently. "I forged your essays. Sluggers loved it."

"... My first year essay got you an Outstanding? At OWL level practice?"

Sirius nodded, and a small smile played at his lips as he saw how Remus's face had lit up.

"I'm going to bed, gents," he announced with a yawn, stretching his arms out behind his head. "See you sometime in the morning."

"I think I'll go up too," James said, and he followed Sirius up the staircase. Once they were out of earshot, he grinned. "Did you really get an O for using some of the stuff from an eleven year old's essay?" he asked curiously.

"No," Sirius replied. "I got an E though."

And with that he flopped onto his bed and fell almost immediately to sleep, leaving James to stand there wondering how it was he could fall asleep so fast.

* * *

"Okay," Peter said, taking in a deep breath. "Hinkypunks use bewitched light. Red Caps are vicious. Grindylows live underwater. Werewolves..."

"Shut up, Peter," Sirius snapped.

They were queuing for the Defence OWL, and all four of the Marauders were nervous, although it was only Peter who voiced his nerves.

Sirius had his eyes closed, leaning against the wall with is head slumped. James was clicking his heels together, reminding anyone viewing on of Dorothy from _the Wizard of Oz_. Remus was playing nervously with his fingers, pushing on each one as if counting facts in his head. He looked pale and peaky as he often did before the full moon.

Peter, who had been caught midsentence, shut his mouth immediately and bowed his head.

Professor McGonagall sauntered down the stairs and raised an eyebrow at the four boys. "You're on time?" she questioned.

"Of course Miss," Sirius said with a tone of unnecessary innocence. "We take exams very seriously."

"Well, good luck, gentleman," she said, slightly more quiet. "I hope we beat Horace on exam results." And for the first time in their lives, they saw Minerva McGonagall wink.

**We all know what happens after the Defence Owl, don't we? **

**Anyway, this is for Sigga, who is feeling like crap at the moment, and I wanted to cheer her up and let her know that we all love her. **

**Thanks again, guys! :D**


	20. In which Sirius investigates

**This is a very long and slightly angsty chapter of I Solemnly Swear, and I hate to say it, but I've done it again. It is of incredible Sirius-heaviness. When I say it's very long, it's very long for me, who normally writes about nine hundred words and calls that a chapter. It's worrying when my A/Ns are longer than my chapters.**

**Anyway, I'm supposed to be revising for my history exam tomorrow, and I'm doing that at the same time as writing this, so if anything overlaps then I'm sorry. I hope they don't. I hate history.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own it. No, I don't.**

"What the _hell_ did he do to my cheek? It won't heal. I'm going to bloody kill him."

"He's twisted, that one," Sirius agreed as he sat on the counter in the bathroom, watching as James glared into the mirror at his slashed open cheek.

Remus could only shrug uneasily. James, catching this gesture in his reflection, turned to glare at him. "Thanks for the support, Remus."

"You bully him, James," Remus said, the most he had ever commented on the matter.

"I'm _not_ a bully," snapped James. "_Look_ what _he_ did to _my_ face!"

"_You_ were teasing him."

"_He slashed open my face_!"

"You threatened to take his boxers off."

"Yeah, _after_ he cut open my face!" James was flushed now, and turned back to the mirror, glaring at his reflection.

Remus shrugged. "Whatever, Prongs," he said, and walked back into the dormitory.

* * *

The kitchens were quiet that evening, seeming devoid of house elves and other mischief makers. Sirius, who had been sitting for half an hour in the firelight eating pumpkin pasties and revising (he couldn't do it in the common room where people could _see_ him, it would ruin his reputation), was getting steadily more bored in his solitude.

Placing his book in a basket in the corner of the room, he rubbed his eyes tiredly and pushed the portrait of the Fruit Bowl and entered the long corridor just underneath the main castle.

He was feeling tired now; he had been awake at the crack of dawn after Peter had started panicking and it was gone midnight now. He had his Transfiguration exam in the morning too, and though he could remember more than he had let on, despite the seating plan with Evans and any previous mishaps with hedgehogs or lolly sticks, it was unfair to say that he wasn't nervous.

He was just beginning to recount the different things he could transfigure a needle into when he heard a creak from behind him.

"Hello?" he called.

Nobody appeared, but he could still hear creaking, like someone was wobbling whilst crouching.

"Whoever it is, show yourself," Sirius commanded flatly. "Is that you Prongs?" He groped out to try and reach the cloak, when a hand shot out from the wall and grabbed him in an iron grip, pulling him forwards.

* * *

"Lily?"

Lily looked up from where she was curled up in her seat, her hair wet and beginning to curl. James Potter stood over her. "Oh," she said. "Hello."

"Are you okay?" James asked her gently.

"Yes."

James frowned disbelievingly. "_Really_?" he challenged.

"_Hmm_," Lily said, putting a finger to her chin in mock thought. "My best friend just called me a mudblood when I defended him from you bullying him, and then I just left him to be picked on. So no, I'm not on top form, to answer your question." She glowered into the firelight.

James said nothing, merely went to sit in the armchair he normally took.

"He's my best friend," she said quietly. "He's not supposed to call me things like that."

James's face was stony. "So, now do you see that he deserves what he gets?"

Lily looked at him like he was the vilest creature ever to walk the Earth. "No one deserves to be bullied, Potter, not even you or Black. I can't believe you just said that."

James smirked. "He deserves everything he gets. He brings it on himself."

Lily stood up. "You know, Potter, for half a minute I thought you'd grown up, got a brain. I defended Black when he was getting bullied by that cow in Astronomy. I was civil with you because I truly thought that you two were finally growing up, becoming as mature as Remus. And then you say things like this, and I remember exactly why I dislike you." She gave him one last lingering glare and stalked off.

* * *

"Let go of me, you tosser!"

"Stop hitting..."

"Get the hell off of me!" Sirius snapped, hitting out at the person in the shadows again. "I'm warning you..."

"Sirius, it's me!"

Sirius recognised the angry voice then, and he whipped his wand from his pocket, holding it up.

"_Lumos_."

Regulus Black's face became illuminated by the light from his brother's wand tip.

"What the hell do you want?" Sirius snapped.

"Oh, that's nice, isn't it?" Regulus said, equally as sourly. "Funnily enough, I need to talk to you."

"About?"

"Snape."

Sirius snorted. "_Funnily enough_, Regulus, I wouldn't want to have this conversation with you when it's not three in the morning and before I'd been disowned. As it so happens, this conversation has just taken a notch up in inappropriateness."

"Shut up and listen to me, will you?" Regulus snapped with an eye roll. "You need to watch out, Sirius. There're about half a dozen people that spring to mind who have you at the top of their hit list at the moment. Bullying Snape is just going to give them a reason to get you."

Sirius grinned. "Am I at the top of _your_ hit list?" he asked interestedly.

Regulus glared at him, though Sirius knew his brother well enough to see what hinted at amusement glinting behind the stony grey eyes. "You will be if you keep interrupting me."

Sirius rolled his own eyes.

"Anyway," continued Regulus, "watch out, yeah? Narcissa'll do you in if she can, she's still furious about your little stunt with Pettigrew."

"What little stunt?" asked Sirius, feigning innocence.

"It was very amusing, but it's getting you into shit," Regulus explained. "You need to watch it, Sirius, really."

Sirius was about to open his mouth when he heard angry footsteps clacking along the stone floor from some distance.

Turning to give Regulus a curious glance, he pressed a finger to his mouth in a motion for his brother to remain quiet and muttered a quick "_nox_" to extinguish the wand light.

"...And there must be something down here, where is that stupid elf? I told him to meet me here..."

The footsteps drew nearer; from the rapid clacking and echoes of the footfalls, Sirius guessed that the person was moving rapidly along the corridor.

"Don't you think you should be quieter?" another, lighter voice asked anxiously from a distance behind. "I mean, if we got caught..."

The first person snorted. "We won't get caught. Everyone around here is selectively blind. They see us and they'll choose to forget, okay?"

"Okay." The companion voice did not sound certain about this.

The first speaker came into view, and Sirius swallowed the urge to gasp. He heard a small intake of breath from Regulus, and slapped a hand to his mouth.

"I promise you we won't get caught," their eldest cousin said with an amused smile. "And if we do get caught, it won't matter." She twirled her wand in her hands and smirked maliciously.

About fifteen seconds later, her youngest sister appeared, looking slightly panicked. "Even so," Narcissa said, "let's hope that doesn't happen."

"It _won't_ happen, Cissy, how many _times_?" Bellatrix snapped. She spun around and began to walk down again. "And where_ is _that bloody house elf? KREACHER! _KREACHER_!"

Narcissa threw one last apprehensive glance at her surroundings and began to follow her sister.

Sirius let his breath go. "So," he said in a whisper, raising his eyebrows at Regulus, "what was that about?"

Regulus looked just as shocked as his brother. "I don't know," he breathed. "D'you want to find out?"

"Of course."

* * *

Peter was beginning to get a migraine.

He shouldn't have been studying at this time, in all honesty, but he was so nervous about Transfiguration that he felt like he was going to cry unless he started rereading his textbook. Of course, once he began rereading, he wanted to cry even more, and it morphed into a vicious circle.

However, at the precise moment, Peter was on his studying stage of the circle, and his head was beginning to pound.

Giving a heavy and flustered sigh, Peter kicked angrily at his bed sheets, launching them from their previously tent-like cover, allowing him to breathe again.

He pushed himself upright and shone his wand-light to illuminate the rest of the room. "_Remus_," he hissed into the darkness. "Remus, I need your help!"

"Whozat?" slurred Remus tiredly.

"It's Peter!" Peter announced. "I'm stuck! I don't know how to do this incantation..."

"Go to sleep, Pete."

"Remus! I really need your help!" Peter pleaded. "I'm going to fail my OWL if you don't!"

But Remus had fallen asleep again, and so Peter was left to bite back the stressful migraine that he was beginning to experience.

* * *

It was a very tight cupboard that the two Black boys had wedged themselves into. If it hadn't been such an inappropriate time and Sirius had been less tactful, he would have made a comment on the intimacy that they were in; however, one slight noise and their hiding place would probably be blown.

Just the sight of his cousins made him feel angry, especially Bellatrix. He was still burning with rage after Christmas, and the fact that she had attacked James gave him half a mind to storm out of the cupboard and hurt her there and then.

She seemed to have made herself quite at home, sitting in the kitchen (Sirius couldn't understand how she could access it when she was not anything of his pranking nature) with a mug of butterbeer and her legs crossed, revealing long black dragon hide boots beneath her black dress. Kreacher was there too, standing by Narcissa, who still seemed to be very anxious. It was odd seeing his cousin so panicked; normally she was calm and sneering.

He shrugged it off.

"Cissy, you look like you're constipated," Bellatrix snapped. "What's wrong with you?"

"You're not exactly the most cautious person, are you?" Narcissa replied. "I mean, what's to say these elves won't go and run back to Dumbledore?"

"What elves?" Bellatrix sneered, looking around, and Sirius realised that the kitchen still seemed to be empty. Where were they?

Narcissa seemed to be pondering the same question. "What've you done with them?" she asked.

Bellatrix grinned. "Kreacher... contained them."  
"Contained them?" Narcissa frowned.

Bellatrix rolled her eyes. "They're fine, Cissy, so you can stop worrying about them. Really, you and that boy Regulus with your house elf views. It's ridiculous. Maybe you should form a society." She laughed loudly and hysterically; Sirius wondered if that wasn't a sign of insanity what was.

He glanced at Regulus through the small light that streamed through the crack in the cupboard.

"Kreacher's been here all day, making sure the elves don't impose on our conversation," Bellatrix explained, and Sirius's blood ran cold. What if he knew they were in here? "Anyone who goes in and out will be spotted and dealt with," Bellatrix continued. She smirked. "I wonder how many mudbloods he's seen today."

Sirius restrained an angry shuffle; he could see Regulus's eyes lock onto his, and remained completely still.

"Speaking of Kreacher, where is the little pest?" Bellatrix snapped. "_Kreacher_!"

A mumbling from somewhere behind them sounded, and Sirius felt an icy current run through him. He turned to look at the back of the cupboard, and saw, to his horror, a small nest-like cavern.

But his attention was drawn back to the kitchen, where a loud crack resounded and Kreacher appeared. He allowed himself a sigh of relief; they hadn't been caught. Yet.

Kreacher hobbled along towards Bellatrix and Narcissa and stooped into an extremely low bow.

"Mistresses," he greeted in his croaky voice.

"Good," Bellatrix said. "We were wondering where you had got to. Bring me something to eat, Kreacher."

Kreacher obliged and stalked off into the depths of the kitchen.

After that, it seemed pretty dull, and other than the fact that their lunatic of a cousin was sitting in the Hogwarts kitchens eating roast lamb prepared by their house elf, the boys found nothing of interest about the meeting. It was almost as if they were being subtle and not expanding on anything as if they knew they were being watched.

"Right, well," Narcissa began, as Bellatrix thrust her plate onto the table behind her. "Do you think we should... go back?"

Bellatrix, who seemed to be having trouble chewing her last mouthful of lamb, shook her head and waved her hands. She swallowed violently and looked at Narcissa. "I think you're frightened, Cissy." She frowned. "Why are you so worried?"

"I'm worried that we're going to get caught and hurled into Azkaban, where I _really_ don't want to end up," snapped Narcissa. "You're so reckless around here. You have no concept of trying to keep quiet. _Anyone_ could hear us. Someone like Hagrid could hear us, and I'm sure he's stronger than you are. I just don't want to end up behind bars, okay?"

Sirius snorted, and regretted it immediately as Narcissa's head snapped up.

"Did you hear that?" Narcissa asked quietly.

"Hear what?"

"That noise," Narcissa answered, standing up and looking around. "Someone's in here."

"No-one's in here," snapped Bellatrix.

"No, there's someone in here, I'm telling you!"

Bellatrix rolled her eyes. "You're hearing things because you're in a panic. Sometimes I wonder with you, Narcissa..."

But Narcissa wasn't listening. She instead turned to Kreacher. "Has anyone been in here today?" she asked him.

Kreacher smiled, revealing numerous jagged teeth. "The blood traitor brat of my Mistress," he informed her.

Sirius wondered if they could hear his heart smashing painfully against his ribcage.

"Sirius?" Bellatrix was alert now. "Where is the little shit?"

"He's in here, I know it," Narcissa murmured.

"Come out, Siri!" Bellatrix called, and Sirius felt a twinge of sickness at the childhood nickname she used. "Where are you hiding?"

Sirius felt Regulus shift, and pressed as far back into the wall as the cupboard would allow him. Bellatrix was moving closer and closer...

And then he wondered why he was hiding.

It wasn't going to change anything if he was out in full sight or hid for three more minutes; she'd find him eventually. If he came outside now, she wouldn't see Regulus tucked up inside the cupboard.

Pushing the door open, he rolled his eyes.

"Honestly, Bella, you're crap at hide and seek. I could have been hiding there forever and you wouldn't have noticed."

Bellatrix turned to look at her cousin and smiled. "Have you stooped so low that you have to eavesdrop on your cousins for mild entertainment now?"

Sirius shrugged. "I take no more pleasure than watching my cousin eat roast dinners, wishing for her to like me. How's Voldie? Send him my regards."

Bellatrix's eyes narrowed. "Shut up, blood traitor."

"What are _you_ doing here?" asked Narcissa coolly. He could tell from her angry glare that she hadn't forgiven him, which made him grin again. _The bitch deserved it_, he thought to himself.

"Never mind what he's doing here," snapped Bellatrix. "We need to form some sort of arrangement, don't we, Siri?"

"What kind of arrangement?"

"Well," Bellatrix said slowly, stepping towards him, "You aren't going to repeat anything that you've heard or seen,_ are_ you, Sirius?"

Sirius shrugged. "You know me. You never know what I might say next."

"Hold him," Bellatrix ordered Kreacher, and Kreacher reacted so fast that Sirius knew for certain that the house elf despised him.

He tried to look inconspicuously back at the cupboard to check that Regulus was still okay but Kreacher slammed his head against the table.

He could see Bellatrix moving towards him, twirling her wand, when the cupboard door clattered open again.

"WAIT!"

Sirius looked up, Kreacher releasing his magic temporarily as he spun around to see the intrusion. Regulus was white as a sheet, and Sirius glared at him to let him no he did not condone this action.

"Regulus?" spluttered Bellatrix. "It appears we seem to be having some family gathering, doesn't it?"

"You're not my family," snapped Sirius angrily. "Why would I want to be related to a bunch like you lot?"

Bellatrix twirled her wand. "Be careful what you say, Sirius."

Sirius snorted. "You can hurt me as much as you like. I. Don't. Care." He spat on the ground in front of her and watched as her features contorted into rage.

She raised her wand – but not at him.

There was a flash and seconds later, Regulus crumpled to the floor.

"Reg!" yelled Sirius, running over to his brother and checking him over. He had a pulse; he was breathing... but there was something very wrong. "What the fuck did you do to him?" Sirius asked desperately, looking up at his cousin. "Wake him up, Bella, please!"

Bellatrix laughed, and turned to Narcissa. "I think you should go and inform Professor Dumbledore that there has been a dreadful fight and that one of the Black boys is injured most grievously. They might have to call in his parents." She smirked.

"You bitch," Sirius said, glaring at Bellatrix. "You fucking cow!"

"I have to fly, Sirius," she said. "But has my message sunk in?" Her eyes glittered. "You didn't see or hear anything, did you?"

Sirius looked at her with a clenched jaw, still holding onto his brother.

"Oh, _stupefy_."

Her stunning spell hit him square in the chest, and he fell backwards onto the kitchen floor.

**Oh no! Regulus!**

**I don't know how this chapter turned out really, but hopefully I should have another one up soon!**

**Rocky**

**x**


	21. In which James has a close shave

**For some reason I'm listening to Merry Xmas by Slade. I think I'm getting a bit ahead of myself.**

"Can you tell me exactly what happened, Mr Black?"

Sirius sat in resolute silence, staring with a clenched jaw at his brother. He looked so pale, his hair jetty against his skin. It was worrying how still and calm he appeared.

Dumbledore sighed when he received no answer, but did not press matters. He merely stood, watching over Regulus like some guardian angel, silent. And yet his presence calmed Sirius enough that he could think straight.

What was he going to do? He knew Bellatrix was somewhere in the castle and he needed to tell someone, but he might hurt someone else close to him just as she had hurt Regulus, and it would be entirely his fault.

His mind screamed for him to tell Dumbledore, but he couldn't even bring himself to look at the willowy old man. For some reason, he found himself incapable of even hinting at what had happened.

"I must warn you, Mr Black," Dumbledore said softly, breaking the silence for a few moments, "Your parents will be arriving shortly upon the premises."

"They're not my parents," mumbled Sirius, although this was only half-heartedly.

Dumbledore surveyed him with his blue eyes, and Sirius shifted uncomfortably under them. "Orion and Walburga will be here very soon. They said they would arrive on the hour."

"That means five minutes past," Sirius muttered. He knew his parents well enough to understand their way of scheduling. They said 'on the hour' to impose power. They waited five minutes to build up suspense and fear.

"It's three minutes past now," Dumbledore warned him.

Sirius nodded bitterly and put his head in his hands.

The doors clattered open, and sure enough, the Blacks appeared. They looked formidable; Mr Black with his long ebony cane, Mrs Black with her tight jetty coils. They walked along the wing with their heads held high, before they reached the bed that their youngest son occupied.

"Dumbledore," Orion acknowledged coolly.

"Mr Black," replied Dumbledore, his tone civil, but without the warmth that normally flavoured its resonance.

"I trust my son is in good care?"

"The best," assured Dumbledore. "Madam Pomfrey is very well trained."

As if on cue, the matron stepped out of her office clutching a tray of brightly coloured medicines, and moved towards Regulus.

"Mr and Mrs Black?" she clarified. When Orion nodded curtly, she smiled wearily and began to administer various potions to the unconscious fourteen year old.

"I shall leave you to it," Dumbledore said. He gave Sirius a small reassuring wink and began to glide back down the aisle between the beds.

Once he had left, Walburga spoke in a cold and firm manner. "Matron," she said. "I would like to make this visit official. Family only. No visitors."

"If anyone comes, I'll turn them away," assured Madam Pomfrey, injecting a purple liquid into Regulus's arm.

Walburga sneered and looked at Sirius for the first time. "I think you misunderstood me. I want family only."

Madam Pomfrey frowned in confusion. "This is family only... unless you are insinuating that I shouldn't be here?"

"I want no mudbloods or blood traitors or scum near my son," Orion picked up for her. "This vermin should leave." His nose wrinkled as he indicated Sirius as if he was some sort of vile substance he had found on the pavement.

Madam Pomfrey's mouth dropped. "I'm sorry?" she spluttered.

"I want him out of here."

"I'm sorry, but this boy is family. Whatever is going on in your household as of late should not affect the relationship of two brothers."

"_He_ is _not_ a_ part _of this family," snapped Orion. "He would do well to remove himself."

"I simply _can't_ allow..."

Orion removed his wand from its sheath and held it so that only they could see it. "Do not anger me, woman."

Madam Pomfrey gaped a second, but said nothing.

It was Sirius's turn to try. "Father, please..." He hated the desperation in his tone, the way his voice felt thin and about to crack.

"Do not call me 'Father', brat!" snapped Orion, backhanding Sirius. Madam Pomfrey opened her mouth and let out a furious gasp.

"_Sir_! Please!"

"You are no son of mine," snapped Orion, shaking Sirius roughly by the shoulder. "Don't even insinuate it!"

Sirius struggled to reach for his wand but managed to get a hold, pointing it into his father's face.

"ENOUGH!" roared Madam Pomfrey. She looked between Orion and Sirius, and glowered. "Sirius, I think you should leave," she said in a quieter tone.

Sirius stood up angrily. "It's fine. I don't want to be here, anyway."

He stormed out of the hospital wing, and turned around a corner, when he was suddenly struck with an awful feeling. He didn't know where to go. Bellatrix was in the castle somewhere and he didn't particularly fancy walking the halls alone in the dark where she could jump out on him at any corner.

But he didn't fancy leaving the castle much, either. There was sure to be all sorts of Voldemort's minions wandering the streets and the last thing he needed was another run in with one of them.

As if an answer to his prayers, a voice sounded behind him.

"Young Master Black," Sir Nicholas De Mimsy-Porpington said with a smile. "I won't ask as to what you're doing up at this time."

"What time is it, out of interest?" Sirius asked, stifling a yawn. The light on the horizons of the ground was slightly worrying; he wasn't going to get any sleep at all. Not that he felt he could sleep at the moment, what with the knowledge he had.

"About four of five," Nick told him. "Are you okay, Sirius? You look awfully pale."

"Like you can talk," snapped Sirius, but he regretted it instantly. "Sorry. I'm just... tired."

"Would you like me to walk with you back to the Tower?"

"Yes please," Sirius answered, relaxing a little.

* * *

"Sirius, get your lazy arse out of bed."

Sirius refused to open his eyes, even when the pillow smacked him in the face. "G'away."

"You're going to be late. We have Transfiguration later."

"Tha's la'er."

"Sirius, get the hell out of bed!"

He opened his eyes when something winded his stomach; James had pushed Peter over onto him, and it had knocked the breath from his lungs.

"Bloody hell, Pete, go on a diet," Sirius croaked.

Peter looked very affronted by this comment.

"Are you alright, Sirius?" asked Remus carefully.

"Why wouldn't I be?" snapped Sirius.

"It was just a question," Remus said defensively. "Don't bite my head off."

"Just stay in bed then," James told him with a shrug. "Come on, Rem." He pulled on Remus's arm, and the boy followed him from the dorm.

"I don't know what's up with him," Peter said with a shrug as they made their way downstairs. "He's normally first to eat breakfast."

"He's just being a cranky git," James explained. "He does this from time to time. I wouldn't worry about it." He shook his head, and smiled at Remus. "Anyway, what time are you going down tonight? To Pomfrey, I mean." He gave a subtle wink and Remus rolled his eyes.

"I don't know yet," he admitted. "Probably after Transfiguration, I'm so panicked about Potions tomorrow. I could do with some stress relief. Maybe she'll make me something."

"Don't stress," James said. "I can't come down tonight, I have detention, but Peter'll make sure you pass, won't you, Pete? He'll teach you down there."

"You'll do fine," Peter assured him. "You just have to remember what I told you."  
"What, to follow the instructions in forward order and to not cock anything up?" Remus asked sarcastically. "Gee, thanks Pete. What a life saver."

"I'm only trying to help," Peter said in a disparaged tone, and huffed off.

"I don't know what's with everyone today," James said with an incredulous sigh. "I mean, first Sirius is all mardy and now Pete's gone off for a sulk. It's like the world's going to end or something, and only we don't know about it." He sat down at the Gryffindor table in a spare seat between Lily and her friend Mary. Both girls shuffled as far away from him as possible.

Remus took the seat opposite him and opened his Transfiguration book, perusing through it for a final time. "I want to get everything right," he explained to James, who had widened his eyes at the extra revision. "I don't want to fail. If I fail Potions then Transfiguration is the only chance I have left."

"You won't fail Potions," James sighed heavily. He grabbed the book from Remus's hands. "Besides, that's called cramming, and it's not good for you. It'll just panic you more and then you will fail."

"Prongs, give it back!" snapped Remus, making a grab for the book, but James had shut it and had placed it so that he was now sat on it, elevating his height another couple of inches. Lily turned to give him a slightly disgusted look from the corner of her eye, and continued crunching her cereal moodily.

* * *

"Transfiguration was a doddle too," James said with a smile as he left the Great Hall that afternoon, rubbing his hands together. "I could have done that with my eyes closed. And the practical was brilliant. Couldn't have asked for a better exam."

"I'm glad you found it so easy," snapped Peter. "I was sitting there for half an hour trying to remember what a Salamander was, never mind how to turn a pickled egg into one."

"Oh, I loved that question," James grinned. "I wrote tons about it. I even used personal experience. Remember the time Sirius tried and ended up turning it into a hamster?"

"It bit me," Peter said sulkily.

"Maybe it could sense your inner rat, Wormtail," James said with a laugh.

"Shut up," Peter said, shoving his friend slightly.

"Well, Outstanding on Transfiguration at least," James announced, slinging an arm round Remus's neck. "And will your future be okay?"

"Yeah," Remus said with a small embarrassed smile. "The paper was okay. I'm still bricking it about Potions, but at least McGonagall's subject went okay."

"Minnie'll be so pleased," James teased.

"Shut up."

"How did you find it, Sirius?"

Sirius looked up as if hearing them for the first time. "What?"

James rolled his eyes. "The OWL, numb-nuts." He made a fist and knocked on the back of Sirius's head. "How did it go?"

"Oh," Sirius said. "It... it went alright."

Remus frowned. "Are you okay, Sirius? You're really out of it."

"I'm fine," Sirius assured him with a smile. "I think I'm going to get an early night." And with that, he pulled away from the others, leaving them to stand, watching him curiously.

There was definitely something odd about Sirius Black today.

* * *

Sirius's head felt fuzzy as he stumbled back to the Gryffindor common room that evening. He couldn't remember where he'd left the invisibility cloak; he'd find it tomorrow and give James his pumpkin juice as compensation.

_I could do with some pumpkin juice._

The Great Hall was very dark at this time, only the routine gliding of the Fat Friar and the Bloody Baron disturbed the silence.

_Or a cauldron cake. I'm starving._

A shadow flickered on the far wall. Sirius shook his head. Perhaps he'd go down to the Willow instead. He'd be able to get out, and he was sure that the others wouldn't mind that he was a _little_ later than expected. The more he thought about it, the more it seemed like a good and inviting idea.

_A cauldron cake would be really nice right now. Or maybe some bacon._

"Black?"

Sirius stumbled as the noise sounded in the darkness. "Mrah, Snape?"

Snape chuckled. "'Mrah'?" he commented. "You've gone mad."

"G'away." He attempted to move past but tripped and fell into Snape.

Snape laughed. "Blimey, Black, how much have you had?"

"Not enough," snapped Sirius. "Now move outta my way."

Snape refused to move, merely smirking. "Aren't you fifteen?"

"Sixteen."

"The legal drinking age is eighteen."

"You're a swot."

Snape's eyes glinted. "I wonder what would happen if I took you to Professor Dumbledore."

"Fugoff."

"Excuse me?"

Sirius attempted to shove past him again, but Snape pushed him back. "Give me one good reason why I shouldn't go and get Dumbledore right now."

Sirius couldn't think of one.

"First, you're out of bed. Second, you're pissed. You are in _so_ much trouble." Snape's face shined with malice.

"Oh, just go fuck yourself," Sirius snapped with a sigh. "Now, if you don't mind, I'm going out."

"Where?" Snape asked. "The Willow?"

Sirius stopped and looked at him through a frown. Snape smiled. "I've seen you go down there before, you, Potter and Pettigrew. On those days when you forgot his cloak."

"So you spy on us now?" Sirius questioned. "You _need _to get a life."

"Why do you go down to the Whomping Willow?" Snape repeated. "What's down there that's so interesting?" His skin looked incredibly sallow in the dim light. "You just sit there for a while, and then disappear under the cloak."

Sirius shrugged. Snape scratched his chin.

"And another thing. It's always at a _particular_ time of the month. Care to explain?"

Sirius felt his insides grow cold. He looked at Snape in horror, the other boy smiling nastily.

"What's your answer?"

Sirius blinked and looked at him. "Well," he said in a voice that shook a little. "You want to find out, Snivelly? Want to _really_ know?"

"Go on."

"If you go down there, and grab a _really_ long stick and prod the knot under the tree, the tree freezes and you can go down through a passage. At the end of the passage is the most Haunted House in Britain."

"The Shrieking Shack?" Snape asked with a snort. "Oh please. What's so haunted about that?"

Sirius's eyes glinted. "Oh, you'll find out."

Snape looked interested, but he screwed his face up. "How do I know you're not lying?"

"Oh, you can trust me, Severus," Sirius said, reciprocating his malice. "And I really think you should try it. Then you'll see why we go down there."

Snape deliberated. Sirius barged past him and began to climb up the Grand Staircase angrily, heart still pounding inexplicably.

It was only when he heard the doors of the Great Hall creak open and the sound of rain bleeding in from the outdoors that he had any idea of what exactly he had just done.

He ran.

* * *

"JAMES! JAMES!"

James pulled his pillow over his head. "N'now. Sleepin'."

"JAMES!"

He opened his eyes angrily. "What the _hell_ do you want?"

Sirius stumbled into view. "You gotta help me, James! Please!"

James reached for his glasses. "What's happened? Who died?"  
"No-one, but someone's gonna!"  
James threw himself out of bed. "What? Tell me what's happened!"

"I... I... Remus... I... Snape... Willow... Fuck!"

James narrowed his eyes, trying to decipher the message from the cryptic statement he had been given.

"Snape's gone after Remus!" Sirius yelled. "I told him to!"

"You did _what_?" He didn't bother to listen to the rest of his friend's explanation. He grabbed Sirius and pushed him out of his way, not missing the stench of firewhiskey on his breath. "Stay here!"

He didn't wait for Sirius to protest; James was out of the common room and hurtling down the stairs in seconds flat.

* * *

Severus stumbled along the path to the Shrieking Shack with an eager expression on his face. He could hear the wind howling down the passage, but he was sure there was another sound raising the hairs on the back of his neck. Maybe the stories were right. Maybe the Shrieking Shack really _was_ the most haunted place in Britain.

Further and further he staggered, pulling his dressing gown higher to ward off the cold. Roots protruded from the walls of the tunnel dangerously here, waiting to hit someone. And they _moved_. It wasn't that surprising; the tree had a mind of its own, but it was still eery.

He was coming towards the end of the tunnel now; he could see steps mounting.

Clambering quickly up them, he strained his eyes to see exactly what was so intriguing about the Shack...

"SNAPE!"

A sharp pain shot through the scruff of his neck as someone caught it, wrenching him back. He struggled, trying to elbow the person away and break free, determined to find out what Black had been on about, but the person was unrelenting.

"GET OFF OF ME!" Severus roared, and he turned angrily to see James Potter standing behind him, attempting to pull him back. "CAN'T YOU _SEE _I'M BUSY?"

And then he saw it.

He saw exactly what Black had been on about.

He turned to look wide eyed at Potter, before shoving him out of the way, trying to get a headstart running.

Blood drummed in his ears, almost as loud as the pounding of the werewolf behind him.

"SNAPE!"

He wasn't going to turn; he could hear Potter bellowing after him but he didn't fancy dying much and he wanted to get out of the tree as fast as he could.

"SNAPE! FUCKING HELP ME!"

Severus threw a look over his shoulder, and forced his feet to stop.

Potter was trying to wrench his foot free of a root that had caught it, winding round his leg and holding him firmly in place. The beast wasn't overly far behind.

Potter looked up desperately, his face screwed up as he fought to escape. He was going to die.

"_IMPEDIMENTA!_"

The werewolf slowed.

Sirius Black, shaking violently, lowered his wand.

**AHHHHHHHH! I don't know what happened, I just found myself incapable of writing that last scene very well. But it's very long by my standards, sooooooo...**

**It may very well get to an angst level over the next few chapters that it has never experienced before, so this is an advanced warning. **

**I'm REALLY sorry if I haven't replied to your review yet. I'm just about to go through them all (I receive them all on my phone and I can't reply on my phone, and I then forget whenever I come online.) but if somehow I manage to miss you, you can PM me or whatever to tell me what an awful person I am. :P **

**Anyway, thank you, all of you. You're so lovely to me. :D**

**Rocky**

**x**


	22. In which Bellatrix is on a mission

**150 reviews... wow guys! Thank you so much! I'm smiling like a banana right now! :D**

It was so cosy and warm in the bed that Remus would have been quite happy to stay there all day and never move again.

However, though his eyes were shut, Remus could sense the hovering presence of James, and an innate sense told him that whatever his friend wanted, it wasn't good.

Rolling over, he blinked blearily, aching from the movement. "Whadayawan', Potter?"

James looked at him and smiled, although it was an awkward smile. "Hey, Remus. How're things?"

Remus narrowed his eyes. "Achy. What's up?"

"Nothing," James replied quickly. Too quickly. Remus's eyebrows narrowed suspiciously.

"If nothing's wrong, why are you acting like you've got a wand stuck up your arse?"

James glowered at him. "I don't look like that."

"You do," Remus told him. "Now, tell me what the hell is going on."

James shifted uncomfortably on his feet. "Dumbledore told me to bring you to his office once you woke up."

Remus's eyes were now so narrow that he was squinting. "So there is something wrong, then."

James looked at him with pained eyes. "Just... come with me, yeah?"

Remus rolled his eyes, but sat up, a prickle of panic forming in the pit of his stomach as he pushed himself up onto the cold ground.

* * *

"Mr Lupin, there appears to be an issue concerning your condition."

Remus's insides turned very cold. He knew it was only a matter of time before things became out of hand. Although he found it strange that the issue had arisen now, after five years of well-kept secrecy. He glanced between James, who was glaring stonily forwards, Peter, who was seated sniffing into a dirty-looking handkerchief, and Sirius, who had been sitting in the office with his head slumped on the desk when Remus had arrived. He looked back at his hands. "I'm sorry, sir."

Dumbledore gazed at him. "It is to no fault of your own, Mr Lupin." He sighed. "Alas, the fault is somewhat more aggrieving."

Remus looked at him confusedly.

Dumbledore turned and placed a hand lightly upon Sirius's shoulder. "I think it is to Mr Black to explain."

Remus turned his eyes to look at Sirius, who lifted his head heavily. Remus had never seen him looking so worn down before. He stared at him expectantly.

"Snape knows," he said in a hoarse voice.

Remus's heart was hammering now. "What?"

"And that's not the worst of it, is it, Sirius?" snapped James from behind Remus. "He hasn't quite finished yet. Snape knows."

Remus couldn't even look at James to question the cold in his voice. Instead he remained with his eyes fixed on Sirius, ignoring Peter's snuffling in the corner.

"Tell him Sirius!" James said anger in his voice. "Tell him what you did! Tell him how Snape knows!"

"Snape knows," repeated Sirius. "I... I told him."

* * *

"But what exactly is it that you _need_, Bella?" Narcissa asked as she watched her sister fly around, tearing apart the room they stood in as she searched for whatever it was she needed.

"Something!" Bellatrix replied, rifling through a chest of drawers in lightning speed. "Something very important... and it's not here!" She kicked the dresser angrily and moved on to the wardrobe.

Narcissa glanced anxiously around. "Bella, don't be so loud, you don't want to get caught again..."

"And what will happen if I am caught?" Bellatrix scoffed. "If that traitorous wretch can't do anything, I doubt anyone else will try to defy me."

Narcissa swallowed and blinked. "You didn't need to hurt Regulus though."

Bellatrix stopped and turned to face her sister. "My, my, Cissy, are we getting a bit sentimental in our old age?"

Narcissa glowered at her. "It was a bad move," she snapped. "Now the castle knows something isn't right and they'll most likely be on tenterhooks."

Bellatrix rolled her eyes and returned to her rummaging. "You worry too much, Narcissa Black."

"With good reason!" snapped Narcissa, but that was all she said as Bellatrix screamed in anguish.

"It's not here!" she yelled, and Narcissa flinched a little. "Where can the bloody thing _be_?"

"What are you looking for?" Narcissa asked quietly. "What is it that you need?"

"It is something _vital_ to the Dark Lord," Bellatrix replied, bringing a fist down on the surface of the desk. "Something that he desperately needs returned to him."

"Why, what does he need it for?" Narcissa asked.

Bellatrix glared at her. "I don't know, do I?" she snapped. "If it is so vital to his success then he will share with no-one."

Narcissa shrugged. "I'm sorry. Don't bite my head off." She shook her curls over her shoulder and pouted.

"All I know," Bellatrix said, a little calmer, "is what I am looking for."

"So you do know?"

"I know the body, not the use."

"Pray tell," Narcissa said, raising her eyebrows. "What is this mysterious object?"

Bellatrix grinned. "A diary. An empty diary."

* * *

The days were ticking past excruciatingly slowly back at home. Vera bustled around industriously, making cups of tea and bringing out chocolate in a vain attempt to make her son feel the slightest bit better, but there was no way of shifting the depression that had overcome Remus. To mention it to his face however caused him to smile positively and deny any and all charges.

Inside however, Remus was in turmoil. Because he had never felt this awful before in his life, not even when he had had to pull out of primary school because of his lycanthropy. He was fuming.

And yet he still couldn't hate Sirius.

Oh, he had tried.

He had focussed at night time on trying to think of every time the boy had wronged him, every time he had made him feel this angst.

But despite the amount of things he could come up with, he still could not hate Sirius Black.

* * *

"But why is a diary important?" Narcissa asked with a frown. "I don't understand this."

"Because, Narcissa, it is," Bellatrix sighed with impatience. "I don't know why, I don't know how, it just is. We've established this. All I know is that it's a magical diary that appears to be empty but isn't. Is that enough information for your pretty little head to deal with or do you need more, because I swear to God Narcissa, if our conversation even raises a notch in intellect your head will probably explode."

Narcissa felt quite affronted by this, but said nothing.

"Now," Bellatrix said, "What I could do with is you finding out some information for me. Go and get me some news on diaries in people's possessions."

"And how exactly do you expect me to do that?" Narcissa asked hotly. "Do you expect me to approach a random bloody Hufflepuff and ask if they've become pen pals with a talking book?"

"No need," a curt voice from the door sounded, and both sisters span around to see who it belonged to. Narcissa's eyes narrowed as she recognised the greasy haired boy.

"Snape?" she snapped. "What do you want?"

Snape raised his eyebrows. "I've come to offer my help. I assume you would like it, rather than for me to turn you in."

Bellatrix smiled with malice. "You wouldn't turn us in, boy," she said, brandishing her wand dangerously, but Narcissa held up a hand to silence her.

"How exactly could you help us?" she asked with narrowed eyes.

Snape smirked. "I know who owns the diary."

* * *

"It's the end of school! Summer!" Mary gabbled excitedly as they made their way from the castle, a light drizzle falling around them. "It's going to be so good!"

"Hmm," Lily replied, though she wasn't listening intently to Mary's jabbering. Mary could talk enough for both of them anyway; so long as she threw in a casual response every so often, her companion would never realise that she wasn't paying attention.

However, Mary did this time. She turned to Lily and pouted.

"Right, what's up?" she asked her outright.

Lily shrugged. "Nothing's up. What makes you think anything's up?"

"Because by now you're normally bitching about having to go home and face Petunia and her lump of a boyfriend, and I have to put up with your whinging. But today, you couldn't care less. You're thinking about something. What is it?"

Lily's mouth fell open. "_I_ whinge?" she snapped, but she said nothing else.

Mary sighed heavily. "Lily, do you want my help or not?"

"There's not much up," Lily replied. "Other than my best friend calling me a mudblood, I'm just dandy."

Mary rolled her eyes. "You're not thinking about that either. You're not on the brink of tears. You're all mysterious and broody."

Lily raised her eyebrows. "Do you practice trying to read me?"

Mary grinned. "I'm talented." She pulled her hair out of its ponytail and gave it a shake. "Tell me what's wrong, will you?"

"Nothing..."

"Is it Potter?"

Lily stopped in her tracks, causing a second year behind her to walk into her. "Why would I think about _him_?"

"I don't know Lily," Mary said, although she was smiling deviously. "Why don't you tell me?"

"Well, I'm curious as to why Remus left early," Lily said, "and I'm hoping his Mum isn't ill again."

"I don't think his Mum's ill," scoffed Mary. "I think he just gets homesick and he doesn't want to seem like a dweeb."

"He's not a dweeb!" giggled Lily. "He's really nice. You should give him a chance instead of chasing after dickheads like Black."

"Well, _you_ should give Potter a chance then," countered Mary. Lily snorted, beginning to walk again.

"I won't give him a chance in hell," she told Mary.

"So, other than Lupin being a dweeb, what else is bothering you?" Mary asked, Lily throwing her one of her scolding glowers.

"I'm worried," she admitted.

"Worried about what?"

"Worried about the world. What's it coming to, Mary?"

It was Mary's turn to snort. "What are you on about?"

Lily looked at her. "I mean all this prejudice, all this fear. That's what happened in Nazi Germany and look what happened there!"

Mary shrugged. "We're not in Nazi Germany."

"Mary," Lily said, heat in her voice, "You were there when the castle got attacked. You were _there_. How can you tell me that nothing's going to come of this violence when it already has?" She bit her lip. "Something nasty's going to happen. I can feel it."

* * *

The train rumbled along and James sat in stony silence opposite Peter, who was nibbling anxiously at his fingernails. They hadn't spoken in well over an hour; James had dismissed the trolley lady with one trivializing hand gesture despite the fact that Peter quite fancied a packet of Droobles.

"Peter," James said gruffly, "Stop biting your nails."

Peter nodded and lowered his hand. _Well, this is progress,_ he thought. _He's actually talking now._

The compartment door slid open and Peter looked up to see Lily Evans enter.

"No offence, Evans," James said, looking wearily up at her, "but whatever it is that you're about to tell me off for, I'm not in the mood to deal with. Can it wait until next summer?"

Lily looked a little affronted. "I don't want to tell you off for anything."

"Well, that's a first," James said with a humourless chuckle. "So, pray tell, to what pleasure do we earn your presence?"

Lily rolled her eyes. "You know, I was just looking for somewhere quiet to sit and thought that for once I could sit with you without Black being a prick. But apparently that's out of the window, hey?"

James glared at her. "Well, he's not going to be a prick anymore so you can bloody well sit down and shut up."

Lily raised her eyebrows. "Sorry, I didn't realise you were having a domestic." She turned around to leave.

"I'm sorry."

Lily threw him a glare over her shoulder. "You go on at Snape for calling me a mudblood, but the way you talk to me when you're in a tizzy isn't any better. So, no, Potter, I don't accept your apology." She tossed her head back and stalked off, leaving the compartment door to slide shut.

James looked at Peter. "I _hate_ bloody _girls_."

* * *

Marjorie Doford took two sugars in her tea every day. It wasn't namby-pamby tea either; it was Earl Grey, diffused from tea leaves in best china. The sugar had to be cubes, one white, one brown, and they were to be served with her pure silver tongs. She stirred it thrice and tapped the cup before she would leave it for precisely three minutes to take a sip.

The man who served her had struck her as odd; dark hair that was rather longer than it should have been, eyes scarily wide. His name was rather unusual too; Rabastan, she thought it was. She wasn't particularly fond of this man; nevertheless he had offered to serve her afternoon tea and she was rather obliged to.

Once he had finished, she took a sip of her tea and let it roll over her tongue. There was a slightly spiced taste to it today, but Marjorie thought nothing of it.

"Could I ask you a question, Miss Doford?" Rabastan asked. Marjorie nodded instantaneously. Rabastan smiled, revealing yellowing teeth.

"Perhaps you know of something that you could help me with," Rabastan continued. "A diary of sorts. Black, leather bound, completely empty to the eye. Only it isn't."

Marjorie laughed. "You know, you sound exactly like that nephew of mine. He's always wittering on about magical diaries."

"So you know of it?"

"Of course I know of it," Marjorie replied abruptly. "Andrew won't let it drop. I tell him it's not magical, I tell him, I say 'what is it that's so magical about it, Andrew?' and he says, 'It talks to me.' As if a diary will do that. An empty one at that." She snorted.

"Don't you believe in magic, Miss Doford?" Rabastan asked with a smirk.

"Of course I don't, boy!"

Rabastan raised his eyebrows. "I think my... comrades... would largely disagree with you there, Miss Doford." He pulled out his wand and twirled it delicately in his hands.

Marjorie let out a harsh laugh. "You're as barking as Andrew!"

"I wouldn't doubt me, Miss Doford."

"Preposterous! This is poppycock!"

Rabastan flicked his wand. The tea set ignited.

Marjorie stopped laughing and let out a small shriek. Rabastan moved closer in, dark hair falling towards her. "Tell me where it is," he growled, "or you'll go _poof_, just like your china did."

She swallowed and moved backwards. "Now, look here..."

Rabastan rolled his eyes, before pressing the tip of his wand into her neck. "_Tell_ me where it is."

Marjorie Doford was found dead two days later.

**Wow, thank you guys for all of your reviews, and I am so sorry that I haven't updated in such a long time! However, you'll be pleased to know that summer holiday starts on Friday, and though I'll be away, hopefully that should mean I'll update more often!**

**And the film was great, wasn't it? (If you've seen it.)**


	23. In which Walburga gets her comeuppance

**It's a filler chapter...**

**Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets is on ITV1. This means there is a marathon going on. I love ITV at the moment.**

**And JK almost made me cry with her comment! "Hogwarts will always welcome you home"... **

**Thank you to my wonderful reviewers, in particular to Scandalacious Intentions and WizardWay, who have, as usual, written absolutely lovely reviews. :)**

**I am sorry for this chapter's considerable lacking in the presence of Remus. I will make it up to you :) **

**And I'm glad Tom won the Apprentice.**

"Where's Sirius?"

"He wanted to stay with Andromeda," James said coolly as he stepped from the train. "But hello, anyway, Mum."

"Hello, dear," Dorea said absent-mindedly. "Are you sure you two haven't fallen out?"

"He wants to stay with Andromeda," repeated James flatly. "Shall we go?"

Dorea raised her eyebrows at her son. "What's got into you, James? Where's Remus?"

"His Mum was sick," James said, and he snorted at the irony of using Remus's old lie.

Dorea frowned. "Why is that funny? Is she okay?"

"Of course she's okay," James snapped. "Can we _go_?"

"Now, listen to me, James Potter, do not speak to me in that manner. I am asking you a question, and you will do well to answer it with the civility of a decent human being," Dorea said sharply. "Do you hear me?"

James seemed to snap out of his sulk, and met his mother's eyes for the first time. "Yeah... I... Yeah, sorry, Mum."

Dorea straightened up, and began to walk, James in her wake, when she stopped abruptly.

"What?" James asked, frowning.

She jarred a thumb at a small group of people, all with very dark hair, standing with their chins held high. It was Sirius's family, he knew that.

"What?" he repeated. "I don't get it."

"They're pointing at us," Dorea replied through the corner of her mouth.

"Why?" James asked, but Dorea wasn't listening. She forced a civil smile onto her face and approached them. "Hello," she said sweetly. "We couldn't help but notice you. Did you want something?"

Walburga Black, Sirius's formidable-looking mother, sneered. "Dorea," she greeted sourly. "I see you have already lost the boy."

"Which boy would that be?"

Her lip curled. "The son that you stole."

"The son that you kicked out, you mean?" Dorea asked, still smiling. "He asked to come and live with us. We obviously said yes. Just because he wishes to spend the summer with his cousin, doesn't mean I will forbid him."

Walburga's eyebrows knitted together as Cygnus Black scoffed. "The boy is not welcome to our house. He will not stay with us unless we decide to be charitable."

"No, he's staying with your other daughter," Dorea said, waving her arm. "Andromeda. Do you remember her?"

"Mum," James hissed, "Mum, let's go."

Dorea put a hand up to silence him. "Yes, the Blacks have never been particularly fond of their children, have they?"

"Not when they taint our lineage with blood traitors, mudbloods and scum," spat Walburga viciously. Druella nodded in agreement. "You, Dorea, are a filth, just like the rest of them."

It was Dorea's turn to scoff. "Walburga, I've always wanted you to give me this opportunity."

"Mum..." James warned.

"What opportunity?" Walburga sneered. Dorea's smile was sweeter than ever.

_CRACK._

James's eyes widened. "Mother!"

Dorea smiled, lowering her hand, as Walburga stared in utmost shock. "Good day to you." She began to stalk off, James following her in awe.

"James, really, close your mouth."

James forced his jaw shut. "I can't believe you sometimes."

"I was just giving Walburga Black what she's been asking for for the past century, or however old she is."

"How can you tell me off and then smack her round the chops?"

"Because James, you are only a Potter," Dorea explained, striding fast as she began to fix her hair. "Unlike you, I am a Black, and a disowned Black at that. I am entitled to do whatever the hell I like." She grinned. "Let's go find your father."

James shook his head. His mother was almost as bizarre as Remus's at times.

* * *

It was bitterly cold in Corfe that evening, the wind whipping Sirius's hair and raising goosebumps on his arms where gusts billowed through the sleeves of his jacket, making them expand like parachutes. He could see the castle illuminated in the distance like a big ghostly object. It was nice _to_ be able to see; the smog in London really was appalling.

Of course, it didn't help that Sirius felt frozen inside either. He wondered what they would think of his solemn case.

Reaching the door he was looking for, Sirius banged on it very loudly, before wrapping his arms around himself in a vain attempt to protect his torso from the cold.

"Is that Elvendork?" Sirius had asked as the door opened, gesturing to the child that Andromeda clutched to her chest. He had taken to referring to Andromeda's child as that now, as he had never found out the actual name. And after all, it _was_ unisex.

Andromeda snorted. "Not even a hello," she said with a roll of her eyes, pulling her cousin inside.

Sirius grinned.

It was a lot warmer inside the house; a fire crackled in the living room where Andromeda's husband sat, feet outstretched.

"Who is it, Drom?" he called, before craning his neck around. He squinted and smiled. "Ah, Sirius. We were wondering when to expect a visit from you."

"Hey Ted," Sirius replied with a grin. "How're things?"

They both looked different; Ted had grown a moustache, possibly in the attempt to make him seem more fatherly, Andromeda had her hair tied messily and was wearing knitwear. She rather suited muggle clothing, Sirius thought.

Andromeda pushed Sirius into a chair and put the child on top of him before seating herself on the arm of Ted's chair. "This is Nymphadora," she told him.

Sirius raised his eyebrows. "Poor kid –"

"I think it's a lovely name," Andromeda cut across him. "It's nice to not have any connotations with stars. She's a breath of fresh air."

"How old is she?" he asked conversationally, tickling the little girl's chin.

"Three years old," Ted answered him, smiling fondly at his daughter. "And a right little terror, she is to, aren't you, 'Dora?"

Dora reached out again, struggling to get a grasp on Sirius's hand.

"If you really want it," Sirius said with a sigh, stretching out his hand towards her. She smiled in victory, but just before she clasped his finger, Sirius pulled his arm out of reach again. Dora quickly realised this was some kind of game, and began to giggle mirthfully as she desperately tried to latch hold of Sirius. Sirius smiled too, she was a bright little character for one so young.

When he lost concentration for half a second, she had grabbed him. He turned to say something to her, when his mouth fell open.

Her hair had turned green.

"Shit, what have I done?" he exclaimed, panic-stricken. To his surprise, Andromeda and Ted both laughed.

"She's a metamorphmagus," explained Andromeda.

"I didn't actually hear that," Sirius expressed his confusion.

"She can change her appearance," Ted expanded, gesturing to his daughter, who now had a blazing red afro adorning her crown. "It's a real nuisance in public, in case she runs off and we don't know what she'll look like next."

Sirius's eyes widened a bit at that. "Who gave her _that_?" he asked, staring at Andromeda in amazement.

"Probably someone we haven't heard of, way back in the family tree, called Sun or something," she replied with a shrug, distaste colouring her voice in the same way it often laced his when he spoke of his family's odd interest in naming children after stars. _If I ever have a kid, I'm calling it Bob or Judy. No silly constellations for me, thanks very much._

"It'll come in handy when she's older though," Ted pointed out. "What with all the Death Eaters."

_Death Eaters_. It sounded a stupid name, Eaters of Death. All the death you can eat, twelve sickles and a Dark Mark.

"Are you worried?" he asked them quietly.

"Terrified," replied Andromeda. "I'm terrified... of _her_."

He nodded, understanding. It was funny, funny how he agreed. He was more scared of his own flesh and blood than he was of the Dark Lord of All Evil.

"Siwi..."

Sirius looked down at the little girl. "Huh?" he said, frowning.

"Siwi... Siwi...ud. Siwiud."

"Siri-us," he corrected, looking at the girl. "Go on, Dora, say it."

"Siwi...us."

"Yay!" Sirius cheered her. Dora grinned and screwed up her face until her hair changed colour again. This time it was jet black and shoulder length.

He grinned. "You've got a good little impressionist here."

Andromeda smiled a little at the compliment. "I think it's Dora's bed time now though, don't you Dora?"

"I wanna stay up wif Siwius!"

"Sirius has to go to bed soon too," Andromeda assured her. "Don't you, young man?"

Sirius, who wasn't particularly in the mood for pretending he had just the same habits as a three year old girl, forced on a big smile and nodded purely to humour Andromeda.

"Daddy's going to take you to bed, aren't you, Daddy?"

Ted rolled his eyes but nodded. "Come on, toe-rag, let's go to bed." He grabbed Dora and swung her upside down, causing her to cascade into mirthful giggles.

As soon as they had left, Andromeda turned to Sirius. "And?" she asked. "To what do we owe the pleasure?"

Sirius smiled grimly. "It's a long story."

"I thought you'd got this sorted Sirius," Andromeda sighed heavily. "I thought you'd thought it through."

"I _did_, Drom, I did have it sorted," Sirius insisted. "I left abruptly, yeah, but James took me in, it was all good."

"Then why are you here?" Andromeda asked impatiently. "If you've got your disownment sorted then why do you need us to look after you?"

"I don't _need_ looking after."

"Oh, I'm sorry, but it doesn't look like that from where I'm standing."

Both cousins inhaled deeply.

"How did you even get here, anyway?"

"Train to Wareham," Sirius explained. "I nicked a guy's wallet. He didn't even realise he had it on him. Then I got there and remembered the loony bus."

"The loony bus?"

"The Knight Bus," he said, waving his hand. "Anyway, I just told them to take me to the castle, and they did, so then I just asked for directions to Ted Tonks'. They all know him."

"He's lived in Corfe all his life," dismissed Andromeda. "The old ladies love him."

They lapsed into silence, Sirius smiling awkwardly as he played with the fraying edge of his turtle-neck jumper.

"So," Andromeda continued, "why are you here?"

"Because I'm a twat," Sirius said after a deep breath.

"It doesn't take Dumbledore to see that," Andromeda began, but Sirius silenced her with a look.

He groaned, and told her the story of the prank, the prank that had shaken their friendship.

Once he had finished, Andromeda's eyebrows were so high they could have fallen off of her face. She stood, lips pursed, arms folded across her chest as she maintained her stony silence.

Sirius groaned. "Say something, Drom."

"What do you want me to say?" she asked. "That he shouldn't be mad with you? That it isn't your fault? Because I can't tell you something that isn't true, Sirius. He has every right to be mad with you. His one secret, the one thing that makes his life hell, and you've flaunted it to his arch rival. Do you really want me to give you a hug and tell you it'll all be better soon?"

"No, I know."

"Then what?" she asked exasperatedly. "What do you expect me to say, Sirius?"

Sirius shook his head and blinked. "I don't know. Anything."

Andromeda pressed her lips together in a fine line, eyeing her cousin carefully. He slid to his knees and put his hands in his hair.

"I don't understand what incentive you'd have to do that." There was a frown line on her tired face as she studied him.

He looked up, meeting her gaze. "I had incentive. It just doesn't justify it."

"What?"

"I can't tell you," Sirius said, shaking his head. "I want to, but... I can't."

"Look, Sirius," Andromeda said, kneeling down next to him, "whatever happened that night can't be reversed. But it can be explained. You need to tell _someone_."

Sirius shook his head. "I can't," he whispered. He blinked. "I'm _scared_."

"Sirius..."

"All tucked in, fast asleep, hair bright orange," Ted's voice sounded, followed by his appearance. He smiled at them both. "So, what's been going on down here?" His eyes gazed over the two of them, both kneeling on the floor, Andromeda's hand outstretched toward Sirius's shoulder. He shook his head, and carried on talking. "Never mind, who's for a brew?" His voice was hasty now. "Sirius? Do you take sugar?"

Sirius cleared his throat and shook his head. "No thanks, Ted. I... I think I'm going to go to bed, actually."

Andromeda nodded slowly. "We have a spare bedroom. Make yourself comfortable."

Sirius forced a smile, muttered 'thank you', and left, very aware of the eyes following his person.

**This is getting so angsty at the moment! Hopefully I shall have a summer holiday chapter up soon :P**

**Rocky**

**xx**


	24. In which Remus sees a shadow

**Oh my goodness, I'm so sorry! It's been a very long time. I've been on holiday, and I know that's a pathetic excuse. Then I've been determined to write a long chapter to make up for it, but it kept getting very angsty and wasn't really going in the direction I wanted it to. So, I started again. **

**I hope everyone's had a good summer; if you're back at school I hope it's going well, if you're off, I hope you're having a great time, if you're working, I hope you've had some holiday time to relax. :D**

**Thank you ever so very much for all the lovely reviews you left. They were all so nice!**

**It's probably going to be very slow this chapter, I just have to wrap a few things up before moving onto the NEWT level Marauders :D**

**Here you go!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. Nothing at all.**

"And you'll behave, _won't _you?"

"I always behave," James said with a huge smile as he took his trunk from his mother.

"He's lying to you," Remus told Dorea, leaning against the doorframe with a jaunty expression on his worn features. "He never behaves, not ever."

"I don't know what you're talking about, Remus Lupin," James said with a mocking gasp. "Misbehaviour isn't in my vocabulary."

"Neither is restraint," Dorea said with pursed lips. She smiled anyhow, and spread her arms out. "Give me a hug, dear."

James groaned and rolled his eyes, muttering about how he was sixteen, but complied anyhow, engulfed by his mother. When he broke away, Dorea turned to Remus.

"I need a hug from you too, you know," she said with a smile, outstretching her arms. "Or are you too old too?"

Remus grinned. "Mrs Potter, I will never be too old for one of your hugs."

She smiled and pecked him on the cheek. "Right, I must speak with Vera. You boys go and do something." She gave a dismissive hand gesture and James rolled his eyes.

"Come on then, Moony, you can show me my room," he said, clapping his friend on the back.

Remus grinned. "It's exactly the same as last time you came. I'm sure you could find it by yourself." Nevertheless, he grabbed James's arm and towed him up the steps, leading him into the Lupins' home.

James could never get over the house. It was many, many times smaller than James's house and a few times shabbier as well, with no house elves to look after it and ensure it gleamed. However, Vera evidently worked meticulously at keeping it tidy; sometimes he would see cleaning products and dustpans on window ledges or the vacuum cleaner on the landing. But he didn't really care that much if she cleaned or simply let the place fester, because the tidiness wasn't what was important.

The thing that really got to James was how homely the place felt.

It may have been small, but it was cosy, and the way the Lupins were together brought a smile to his face.

"So," Remus said, pushing the door open to his room. "Dump your stuff in there. We'll go out."

"Out?"

"Yep," Remus replied with a grin. "There's this really cute girl down at the ice cream parlour."

James snorted. "You sound so much like Sir..." He choked a little as he cut himself off so abruptly. Remus's face darkened.

"You still haven't forgiven him?" James asked quietly.

"Have you?"

"No."

They slipped into silence.

"Come on," James said finally. "Show me this girl."

Remus sighed heavily. "I don't hate him James. I've tried, I've tried so hard, believe me. But I can't." He sighed again. "But just because I don't hate him, doesn't mean I'm going to let him get away with it. I'm not forgiving him."

James nodded slowly.

"You hate him, don't you?"

James met Remus's gaze. "Not him. I hate what he did. I hate about how he never thinks. I hate that he thinks that just because he had such an awful home life that nobody else knows what it feels like to go through shit. He just doesn't _think_."

"But he never has thought, has he?" Remus said quietly, rubbing at the back of his neck awkwardly. "It's just a thing we accept now. He has no head."

"I'm sick of him hurting people," James said flatly.

The conversation had ended rather abruptly there, and the rest of the afternoon was spent wandering lazily down the hill towards the town at the bottom, where the girl Remus had spotted would be doing her shift.

"She must be really pretty if you actually want to walk down this hill," snapped James, indicating the distance they still had left to travel down. "Why don't you just fly to the village?"

"Oh, right, because no-one will notice that," Remus scoffed. "I'm sure I could just wash up on a broomstick and lean against the bar and they'd not think any different."

"They probably wouldn't notice," James said with a shrug. "Why'd you choose to live at the top of that hill anyway? It's completely deserted."

"Exactly," Remus said sourly. "Big spooky forest, isolated... it's a safe-haven at full moon."

James once again regretted bringing up the subject, and instead focussed his attentions on kicking a pebble the remainder of the way.

* * *

It turned out that the girl at the cafe was indeed very pretty; red curls, kind face, shiny badge announcing her name was Lizbet, made only better by the delicious ice cream that the parlour served.

"This is better than my Mum's," James admitted, halfway through a strawberry cone. "Wow, these Muggles are good."

"I love this ice cream," Remus agreed, waving his spoon in the air. "My Mum thinks it's the best thing since sliced bread."

"Why's sliced bread good?"

"It's an expression."

James wrinkled his nose. "You have some weird expressions. They don't make sense." He took another lick. "You need to express yourself in some other way. A better way."

Remus raised an eyebrow. "I'll take that into account."

James's grin faltered. "I don't want to worry you," he said quietly, eyes flickering to somewhere above Remus's shoulder, "but he looks suspiciously dangerous. Have you got your wand?"

Remus turned his head slowly, and then snorted. "That's the mayor."

"The who?"

"The mayor," Remus explained, smiling. "See the medals?" He indicated the silver disks around the old man's neck.

James shook his head. "What the hell's a mare? I thought that was a bleeding horse."

"No, it's m-a-y-o-r. He's in charge of the community, sort of. And it's so tightknit that he just comes out all the time." He looked back over at the man, who had an espresso cup pressed to his lips, and frowned. "Weird old bloke though. He never takes them off. I wonder if he showers with it on."

"That is mental," James commented, raising his eyebrows. "Surely if you have a figure of authority you'd play him down in public to prevent assassination."

Remus snorted again. "No-one's going to assassinate the mayor. It's a one year thing and he has barely any power. I've never known a mayor do anything for a community other than cut ribbons."

James ran two hands through his hair, fluffing it up. "Muggles are mental."

* * *

_Dear Mr Black,_

_It is with the utmost sorrow that I inform you that your brother, a Mr Regulus Black, has been transferred from the Hospital Wing at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry to St. Mungo's Hospital in London. This decision was made by the Matron, Madam Poppy Pomfrey, after a failure to receive a response from Mr R Black._

Sirius could only look at the parchment. He could feel Andromeda and Ted's eyes on him, obviously curious as to how his address had been pinpointed and post arriving at this time of night, but he could not meet their gaze.

On the reverse of the parchment, there was another note written in the same looping writing.

_Mr Black, _

_I have informed Walburga and Orion Black about their son's transferral. Therefore, I find it unwise for you to visit._

_However, I must stress, if there is anything you wish to tell me about your brother's condition, anything at all that happened upon that evening, please come forth and tell. It could help the healers to determine the nature of Regulus's illness._

"Sirius?"

He looked up at the sound of his name and across at Andromeda, her face slightly creased in concern. "Yes?"

"What is it? Can we do anything?"

He looked at the letter, and back at her. "Can you get me to the Potters? I have something I need to tell them."

* * *

"I must admit this is a surprise," Charlus said, running a hand through his messy blond hair as he perused the kitchen for a couple of teabags and a spoon to add to the milk and hot water he had served up a few moments ago. "I wasn't expecting to see you again until Christmas, Sirius, never mind half five in the morning." He returned with a box of _Trelawney's Finest: Tealeaves for Every Occasion_ and a gold spoon that hadn't seen the light of day since Christmas.

"Did we wake you up?" Andromeda asked, taking the supplies from the man and finishing the tea, adding a spoonful of sugar to Sirius's and three to Charlus's.

"No, no," Charlus assured her. "I've been up since four. The bloody cat was yowling and the house-elves are asleep."

"I thought they worked all night," Andromeda said, raising an eyebrow.

Charlus yawned. "So did I." He reached forwards and took a large gulp of his tea, before shrivelling his nose and adding another spoonful of sugar.

Andromeda pressed a mug into Sirius's hands and began to sip at her cup. "So, where's Dorea?"

"At a meeting." He yawned again. "Look, I don't mean to be rude, but why are you here?"

Andromeda couldn't answer this question, and instead turned to Sirius, who looked dolefully up at them. "Is James here?"

"He's at Remus's," Charlus said with a frown, and Sirius cringed. "I don't know what's been going on between you boys, but I hope you sort it out."

Sirius noticed how Andromeda pursed her lips slightly.

"Thanks," he told him quietly. _I'm not so sure we will_.

"So, why are you here?"

"You're one of the Governors, aren't you?" Sirius clarified, digging his hands further into his pockets.

"Yes." He caught the hint of confusion in Charlus's voice.

"I need to see Dumbledore."

"What?" The two of them spoke at once, Andromeda spluttering through a sip of tea.

"I need to talk to the headmaster!" Sirius said impatiently. "Can you get me to him or him to me?"

"Sirius, what's all this about?"

"Or St Mungo's, either will do..."

"Sirius..."

"Look, just get me to fucking Dumbledore alright?"

Charlus looked a little taken aback at Sirius's outburst; Andromeda scolded him with a small smack on the arm.

Sirius lowered himself into a chair. "I really need to see someone who can help."

"Help with what?" Charlus asked, kneeling next to him and putting a hand on his forearm. "Sirius, son, what is it?"

He took a deep breath, and wondered, wondered why he hadn't said anything before, why he'd been too afraid. He hadn't said anything and his life had fallen to shit. He'd lost his three greatest friends, he was in danger of losing his brother... all because he was too scared of the consequences.

"Regulus got attacked," he said, looking at Charlus. "It was Bellatrix. She was in the castle... and she got him."

* * *

Remus wasn't able to sleep. He had been tossing and turning all night, trying to find a comfortable position on the floor, and had so far been unsuccessful. Sighing heavily, he swung his legs from the bed and moved to the window, stretching his arms as he looked out on the yard. Moonlight flooded the garden and Remus sighed again. The pull was getting increasingly stronger. It wouldn't be long before the next full moon, and he didn't think he'd quite recovered from the last.

He was about to close the curtain when something caught his eye.

There was someone standing in the middle of the lawn.

Remus squinted; despite his sharper than average vision, he still couldn't distinguish the silhouette, and that unsettled him.

He opened the window a crack and pressed his face against the glass.

The movement of the window alerted the silhouette; they looked up, the shadow growing even longer across the garden, and lifted one steady arm to point in Remus's direction.

There was an almighty crash from downstairs.

James woke up with a start; he flailed blindly for his glasses and gasped. "What the hell was that?" he enquired, forcing the glasses onto his face and meeting Remus's eyes. "What are you doing over there?"

Remus shrugged, and looked back at the window. The figure had gone.

"What's the time?" asked James, sleep flavouring his voice.

"No idea," Remus replied. He looked in the direction of his bedroom door. "Shall we go investigate?"

Shrugging on a dressing gown each, the two boys climbed down the spiral staircase cautiously, Remus in the lead, and into the hallway.

The living room lights were already on; Remus pushed the door open to see Vera and John already standing there, Vera's hair in rollers, with two others.

"Dad," James said in confusion. "Sirius? What are you doing here?"

Mr Potter looked at James with a grave smile. "Hello, Jim. We've just come to see if we can arrange for one more to stay this summer."

John raised his eyebrows. "Oh?"

Remus noticed Sirius visibly cringe at the atmosphere. At the moment, the only person in the room who seemed to be genuinely on his side was Charlus, and Charlus was the only one who didn't know both sides of the story.

Charlus clapped Sirius on the shoulder. "Perhaps we could have a hot drink and sit down."

John went to put the kettle on as Charlus lowered himself into a seat. "I think that the story would probably be better coming from Sirius. I am liable to contort things. Not deliberately. I'm just a bit old."

"Go on then," Remus said coolly, looking at Sirius for the first time in what felt like forever. "Explain yourself."

Sirius met his eyes with such a sober expression it almost caught him off-guard. "I couldn't sleep."

"Boohoo," James snarled, but one glare from Charlus shut him up.

"I couldn't sleep because Pete was snoring and it was hot and I was nervous about the exams, so I went down to the kitchen to go revise."

"See, that can't be true," Remus said quietly. "I have never known you to revise in my life."

Sirius grinned humourlessly. "I revise alright. Just in the dead of night and in the presence of nobody." He wound his hands together. "But anyway, for some reason or another I ran into Regulus and we had an argument or something. And then we heard something and we stood quietly. And it was Narcissa... with Bellatrix."

"Bellatrix as in your lunatic cousin Bellatrix?"

"The very same. So we hid in the kitchen..." He explained the rest of the story to the other five present, each of them looking appalled at the story unravelling before them. The tale of how Regulus had been put in hospital, how Sirius had turned to drink, how he had almost sent Snape to his death... it was awful.

"I can't say I'm sorry enough," Sirius said, and this time he was looking directly at Remus. "Only, it'll never be enough. I'm always going to be guilty for this. You should hate me. You'd be right to hate me."

"I don't hate you," Remus said slowly. James cast a side-long glance at Remus which he ignored. "I just can't forgive you."

Sirius hung his head.

* * *

"Hogwarts letters!" Vera sang, entering Remus's bedroom and blasting the curtains open with a charm. "At the breakfast table."

Remus smashed a pillow over his head.

Fifteen minutes later, the Lupins, James and Sirius were seated at the table, daylight blasting the ghosts of sleep away. It had been a long night, and all five were feeling slightly worse-for-wear, and so Vera had put on a huge spread for breakfast.

"I hope you're hungry," she said, piling some succulent looking bacon rashers onto James's plate with a wooden spatula. "I know it hasn't been very long since you were last awake."

It had, in fact, been ten hours, it was now half past one in the afternoon, but nobody complained.

Breakfast was an overly cheerful affair and was over all too quickly. Afterwards the three lads were at a loss for what to do, and stood in awkward silence until James suggested they went back down to the village. "Best ice cream ever," he told Sirius with a smile. "And there's this girl there, called Leslie or Lyra or Lizzie or something that Remus fancies, I can't remember her name exactly, but she's okay looking..."

"Look," Sirius cut across James, eyes fixed on Remus. "I hate this. I wish you could forgive me, but you can't. Why am I here?"

Remus looked back. "I don't know."

James stepped in between them. "Guys..."

"We don't need you protecting us James, piss off," Sirius snapped as Remus said "Get out of the way, you goon." James did as instructed.

They stared at each other for a moment, before Remus spoke.

"I'm not going to pretend to understand why you thought it would be a good idea to tell Snape," he said coolly. "I don't think even you know that."

"Yeah, well," Sirius replied with a bitter laugh. "We all know I don't think."

"No, you don't."

"It's my fault," Sirius said. "I'm such a prick."

"You are," Remus agreed. "You're the biggest prick I've ever met and I have the right mind to punch your lights out."

"Go on then," Sirius said with a challenging smile. "Go on."

"Sirius..."

Remus raised an eyebrow. "That'll make you feel better."

"It'll make you feel better too," James countered. "Bloody hell, I'd like to punch him."

"Shut up, Prongs," Remus snapped. He sighed and stepped forwards. "You, Sirius Black, are a complete and utter tosser."

"I am," Sirius replied. "I'm the biggest tosser you've ever met."

"Shut up."

Sirius obeyed.

"Sometimes I wish I could sew your mouth shut and keep you under lock and key, just so that I know you weren't aggravating anyone," Remus sighed.

James snorted. "You know he'd escape."

Sirius smiled slightly.

"Right, I'm sorry," Remus said, and he punched Sirius square in the jaw with slightly more force than he had hoped to exert. Sirius hit the floor, and groaned.

"Did you break my face?" he grumbled, and James laughed, Remus smiling. That had actually felt quite good.

"You're a prick," he told Sirius, "and I right royal bastard. But you're our royal bastard." He pulled Sirius to his feet. "And, however feminine it sounds, I've missed you."

"We can be girly together," Sirius said with a smile, and he tackled Remus to the ground.

"Oh, you young hooligans," James sighed. "Alright, move over. I'm going to kick both your arses."

And for the time being, nothing was wrong: it was like they'd never been divided.

**Thanks for fighting your way through that! I will try to update loads sooner this time :D**


	25. In which Peter has a new crush

**Since my last update was so late, I've decided to update again! This chapter is also a bit crap, but never mind :D**

**Anyway! Here we go!**

**Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

Summer faded into autumn and September appeared in a haze of auburn colours, fresh school supplies and the death of a notable wireless personality who Vera Lupin had previously marked a waste of air and now viewed as a grievous loss of talent.

"You hated Alicia Whittaker," Remus snorted, looking at his mother with raised eyebrows.

"I didn't _hate_ her," Vera corrected, rubbing a hand through her hair. "I disliked her."

"So why do you care?"

"Honestly Remus, just because I wasn't particularly fond of her, doesn't mean I wanted her _dead_."

A ripple of discomfort passed through the three boys in her wake; James spoke up to ease the tension.

"Who's your favourite wireless lass or lad then, Mrs L?"

"Easy," Vera replied, "Dawn Saunders."

Remus groaned, Sirius laughed. "I like her, she's hilarious."

"You are such a middle aged woman, Padfoot, it's unreal," James said, mock-disgust in his voice.

"Are you calling me middle aged?" Vera asked, raising her eyebrows.

Remus laughed. "You are nearly fifty, Mum."

Vera feigned shock. "I've never been so offended in my life!"

"Peter looks middle-aged," James commented as their fourth friend arrived, looking slightly downcast and pale.

"Thanks," he murmured. "Hello to you too."

"Good summer, Wormtail?" asked Sirius cheerfully as confusion swept over their friend's face.

"What have I missed?" he asked slowly, looking from Sirius to Remus.

"Oh, um, we made up," Sirius explained. He grinned widely. "Yay!"

Remus smirked. "It's a long story. We'll explain on the train."

"I wait with baited breath," murmured Peter.

* * *

"The first years are taking ages," grumbled Sirius, head on his empty plate.

"They're taking no longer than usual," Remus replied, although he was examining a fork with more interest than seemed humanly possible. "Maybe the lake's a bit choppy."

"The lake's like a millpond," James said bitterly, hunched over on the table. "I'm starving."

As if on cue, the hall doors opened and in entered Professor McGonagall, leading a group of very nervous looking first years behind her. Remus straightened a little; Sirius grinned and James prepared to play the game they played every year at the Sorting.

"Welcome," Dumbledore said, rising from his seat. "And may I welcome you to another year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. First years, you shall shortly be joining your new houses but first, we must find the place to put you." He turned to Professor McGonagall, who had placed the Sorting Hat on the three-legged stool that only appeared once a year for this very occasion.

Peter groaned. "Now we have to listen to it bloody serenade us."

"I like singing with it," Sirius replied with a shrug. "James and I do an amazing harmony."

Remus rolled his eyes. "If you were half as good as you thought you were, you'd be twice as good as you are."

"I'll pretend I didn't hear that."

James began to hum along with the Hat, a small smile playing at his face as he looked over at the Slytherin table. "Blimey, Snape hasn't broken his ugly duckling phase yet."

Remus snorted and followed his gaze. "You come out with some strange things, Prongs."

Sirius tilted his head to the side. "I don't know," he said, examining Severus with narrowed eyes, "I think he's getting stubble. Or are they just fleas?"

James aimed a sharp jab into Sirius's ribs when Lily looked up a few seats down with a frown on her face.

"Ow, bloody hell!" Sirius snapped, looking at his friend with a frown. "What the hell was that for?"

"You shouldn't take the piss out of him, Sirius."

Sirius raised his eyebrows but said nothing, instead rubbing his ribs and looking forward.

James turned to stare at Lily, whose eyes flickered away from him and back to Mary, who was chatting about something with vigour.

"I hope there're sausages for dinner," Remus said jovially, watching his reflection in his plate.

Sirius smirked. "Is all you can think about sausages?"

"What are you thinking about?" Remus snapped.

"Yorkshire puddings."

"Yeah, I hope there are Yorkshire puddings too."

Applause broke out then, and Sirius looked up to see that the Hat had finished its song, the point bending in a sort of bow before it stood still, a sort of buzz of magic around it.

"Right," James said, "Ready?"

"And waiting."

"Six galleons to the one who can get the most right. Remus, can you keep count?"

Remus looked at them both. "You're still going to play this game?"

"Why wouldn't we?" Sirius asked, puzzled.

"Last year, you _had_ six galleons," Remus replied, looking at Sirius. "This year, you haven't got anything."

"You think my parents wouldn't give him some money?" James scoffed. "He has six galleons."

"Plus, I always win," Sirius added gleefully.

"Abbott, Elisabeth," McGonagall called, and Sirius rolled his eyes.

"Hufflepuff without a doubt."

"You haven't even seen her face yet," grinned James, and Sirius smiled.

"You can tell just from the name."

A gangly looking blonde girl began her climb to the stool, her robes slightly too short for her.

James sighed and slumped back. "You're right."

The Hat bellowed out "HUFFLEPUFF!" and Sirius grinned triumphantly.

"One for me, Rem," he told his friend as he patted James on the back. "Better luck next time."

"Aden, Charlotte."

"Ravenclaw."

"Slytherin."

"RAVENCLAW!"

"Are you cheating?" James demanded as Sirius grinned smugly.

"Not cheating, just very talented."

Sirius eventually beat James by quite a large amount, although James insisted he had let him win on account of him not having a penny to his name.

"You've changed your tune," murmured Remus, before Dumbledore stood up again.

"The time for speech-making is not just yet," he told them all, eyes sparkling. "After all, I fear you will not hear me over the rumbling of your stomachs."

There was a titter of agreement before Dumbledore clapped his hands.  
"Therefore, let the feast begin!"

* * *

There were two new members of staff that Dumbledore was going to introduce to them, a severe looking young woman named Professor Sinistra ("who will be using her excellent knowledge in the field of constellations to guide you all through the science of the stars") and the new Defence Professor, another woman by the name of Winslow. She was sipping from her goblet when her name was announced and gave a little wave.

"I wonder what they'll be like," Remus said interestedly.

"Well," Sirius said, grinning, "Sinistra doesn't look like a Death Eater, so that's an improvement."

"And we'll only have Winslow for a year, so it won't matter either way."

"It _will_ matter," Remus corrected, frowning. "This is NEWT year. I don't know about you two but I'm not planning to lark about. I'm actually going to put my head down and work and it would help if I had a good teacher."

"You've always put your head down and worked," Sirius said with a smile. "You didn't have a single fail grade on your sheet."

"You even managed an A in Potions," teased James.

"Oh, shut your face."

"And you got four bloody Os," Sirius said, shaking his head. "You're too well behaved to be real."

"I'm proud of my Os."

"So you should be," James replied with a smile. "That's four more Os than Peter got."

When Peter didn't complain, James raised his eyebrows. "Nice to know he's listening intently."

"And now," Dumbledore announced, "I believe it is time for bed. Prefects will show first years to their dormitories."

"The only people Moony's taking to bed," Sirius joked, earning himself a smack from Remus.

"Still an arrogant prick, Black?" a voice from over his shoulder sounded, and he turned to look at Lily with a big smile.

"Still ginger, Evans?"

"Sirius," James snapped, and Remus, Sirius and Lily all turned to look at him in surprise at this admonishment.

"Well," Lily said, breaking the silence, gaze lingering on James a moment longer before turning to Remus, "We'd best get going." She pushed Sirius and James apart, stood on the gap between them on the bench and bellowed, "Gryffindor first years! This way please!"

"Care to explain?" Sirius asked after she had left, looking at James through narrowed eyes.

"We tease her too much," James said flatly.

"What the hell?"

"You almost killed her best friend," James snapped. "We could at least cut her some slack."

Sirius's expression was incredulous. He gaped at James and was about to say something when Peter interrupted.

"I'm in love," he said with a smile.

"With who?" James asked tiredly.

"Professor Sinistra."

"Oh," Sirius said with a sigh, "you do bloody pick 'em, Pete."

* * *

The first lesson of the week that the four of them shared was Defence Against the Dark Arts, which also seemed to be the most anticipated.

Lined outside the classroom for their sixth teacher in the art, the class was buzzing as if they were first year again.

"It's a whole different stage in our lives," Mary MacDonald told Sirius, who nodded slowly, "because, we're like, doing a whole different set of exams and stuff and it's going to be super cool when they're all studying for OWLs and we're like, hel-lo, NEWT student here."

"I hope this teacher's good though," Sinead O'Donnell said as she threw her bags to the ground and joined the queue. "I only just got on this course as it is. I don't want to be pushed off again."

"Sinead, Mary got on this course," Sirius said flatly. "You are in no danger of being chucked."

"Disrespectful students will be though," a new voice joined the conversation, and everyone turned to the front to see Professor Winslow leaning against the doorframe, wand in hand. She raised an eyebrow at Sirius and looked at the rest of the class. "Everyone ready to come inside?"

The class began to pile in and Snape shot Sirius a very malicious grin, which Sirius matched with a rude hand gesture.

The classroom hadn't changed much; the only real change was that there was a large painting of a gremlin hanging on one wall.

"Ew, what is _that_?" Mary asked, shrivelling her nose as she looked at the canvas.

"Oh, this is Doris," Winslow said casually. "I think she's cute. Plus she looks like how I imagine Sméagol."

"Why do you want a painting of Gollum?" asked Lily with a frown.

"Why does anyone want anything?" she replied, before smiling. "However, I'm pleased to know there is a Tolkien fan amongst us. What's your name?"

Lily blushed. "Lily Evans."

"How many books does she _read_?" Sirius muttered to Remus.

"Come on, Sirius, _I_'ve read _Lord of the Rings_."

"You're letting the side down."

"It's really good, actually. You should read it some time."

"Oh, I will," Sirius said with an over-exaggerated smile. "I'll read it as soon as I become head boy."

Remus rolled his eyes.

"Have you _seen_ the size of it?" Sirius asked incredulously. "It's _huge_. I can only do little portions at once. I couldn't tackle that, it'd... eat me." His sentence faltered as he noticed Winslow looking straight at him. He smiled sheepishly at her as she raised both eyebrows again.

"What's your name?" she asked him.

_Sirius Black._ "Remus Lupin." Remus kicked him. "Okay, Sirius Black," he corrected, sighing.

"Are you going to take this lesson seriously, Black?" she asked him slowly, before smiling. "It is your name after all."

"Miss, that is dreadful," James groaned. Winslow bowed.

She was normal-sized, brunette with very dark eyes and green robes. She was definitely in her late thirties to mid-forties, and yet she was attractive in a way that older women sometimes had.

Raising her eyebrows again (_she has a talent at that,_ thought Sirius), she turned back to the painting and grinned. "So, Doris, what are we learning about today?"

"She's nuts," Sirius muttered.

"She's wicked," grinned James. "This is going to be a great year."


	26. In which James adopts a swagger

**Oh my goodness! That took longer than I intended, plus it's not very good. However, it's very long (for my standard). So, I'm sort of happy!**

**Thank you for all of my luscious reviewers! I'm so sorry that these chapters haven't been the best (right, now I sound like I'm grovelling, so I'll shut up :P) but you guys are so lovely. **

**This is for all of you :D**

**Rocky x**

**Disclaimer: Non... je ne own rien… **

"I bring news of the grandest sort," James said, smile splitting across his face as he entered the common room on Friday evening to see two of his friends already by the fire; Sirius sprawled in his usual chair eating liquorice snaps, Peter sat on the carpet with his back against the foot of another. Sirius looked up and met his gaze, raising a questioning eyebrow. "Pray tell."

James grinned. "McGonagall's agreed that we can hold try-outs this Saturday."

"How is this good news?" Sirius asked, face darkening. "That means sitting around on a field in the pouring rain no less watching some first years who've never ridden a broom before fall off the bloody thing."

"Exactly." James beamed with a sort of satisfaction as he took a seat opposite Sirius, resting his feet on Peter's shoulders.

"I repeat, how is this good news?"

"Because, dear boy," James said in the same cockily-assured tone of voice as before as he folded his arms behind his head, "it means you've got a head start notification to practice for your beater try-out."

Sirius almost choked on the sweet he had popped in his mouth; a passing seventh year smacked him on the back.

"Thanks, Gosfield," he wheezed, looking up at the person who had aided him. He frowned a second. "Hey, you're on the team, aren't you, Gosfield?"

"Yes, I am," Liberty Gosfield replied, looking faintly amused. "Well noticed."

"Does she have to try-out too?" Sirius asked indignantly, jarring a thumb in Liberty's direction.

James laughed and rolled his eyes. "I was only joshing with you, Pads, don't take me too literally."

But the damage was done. Liberty's eyebrows rose as she looked at the dark-haired bespectacled boy, lips pursed. "What the hell, Potter?"

"Blimey, you two," James said, rolling his hazel eyes. "You have no sense of humour."

James had adopted a very superior tone when it came to Quidditch since the appointment of his captaincy and it was driving Sirius insane. He knew that his best friend was very talented when it came to flying, but he didn't need to overdo it on the appearance front. He'd always been a show-off, but before he'd been sufferable.

"We need a new keeper and a new beater to work with you," James explained, looking from Liberty to Sirius. "You'll both need to be there, Libby to put past all those super shots she has and make sure our keeper really is fantastic, Sirius to clobber any jerks who turn up. Comprende?"

Liberty, whose eyes were still very narrow, nodded slowly. "I think you're a prick."

"It's a good job I'm so charming that you're not mad at me," James replied with a smile so sugary it was a surprise to Sirius that she didn't slap him.

Once she had left, he glared at James a little.  
"What now?" James asked with a sigh, pushing Peter forwards slightly in an attempt to recline.

"Firstly, stop murdering Pete," Sirius snapped as Peter yelped a little in pain. "Secondly, I think you need to look at yourself in a mirror."

"I would if you weren't always in front of me."

Sirius rolled his eyes and stood up. "I'm not as good at this whole moral stuff as Remus. I'm going for a walk."

James grinned. "Until training tomorrow morning then, dear!"

Sirius gave him the finger.

* * *

It was cold outside, not to mention depressingly dark. Winter was definitely returning, a little too early for Sirius's liking.

Sighing again, he settled himself at the top of the flight of steps that led down to the boat house, humming tunelessly.

"You know, as a prefect, I should ask you to move."

Sirius looked up and met Remus's gaze. "You won't though, because you love me."

"Sometimes I question that," Remus replied, before sitting down next to him, wincing as his hands and legs made contact with the cold stone. "Really, Sirius, this is a bloody stupid place to sit."

Sirius laughed a low chuckle, breath visible in the cold air as a silvery orb of condensation.

"So, any particular reason for us freezing our arses off out here?" Remus asked, rubbing his hands together and breathing on them.

"Nah," Sirius replied with a smile. "I just had to get away from James."

"What?" Remus sounded surprised. "You two are nigh inseparable."

"He's pissing me off a bit," Sirius admitted. "I just need a break from him for five minutes. Then I'll be able to go lark about with him again. Providing he hasn't got his insatiable Quidditch head on."

Remus grinned. "McGonagall should have known she'd turn him into a monster."

"Ah, mate, she's turned him into bloody Dennison," Sirius said with a small laugh. "It's like she corrupts them all."

Sirius was about to reply when he caught a flicker out of the corner of his eye. Pausing, he turned his head to the side to see what it was that had grabbed his attention.

There was a person in the bushes, face concealed by shadow. Sirius swore as he stared at them, leaping to his feet. "Who the hell is that?"

Remus followed his gaze. "What?" He stood up behind him.

"There's someone in the bushes..." But as Sirius turned back around, the person he had seen had vanished. "That's bizarre," he murmured.

Remus frowned, brushing off his jeans. "It is," he agreed. There was something odd about this: first he had seen someone, now Sirius... something was happening. Remus just couldn't quite put his finger on it.

* * *

Saturday morning was a miserable overcast day, the cloud cover not sparing even a millimetre for a ray of sun to blare through.

The downpour they had received last night only added to the gloom, mud splattering up the legs of the Gryffindor Quidditch teams' trousers as they made their way down to the pitch.

The try-outs were being held in roughly half an hour but James had called them a little earlier to warm up. Already, several hopeful (and hopeless) looking first years queued outside the broom shed, casting curious glances at the older students gathered on the pitch.

"So," James called, looking at the remaining members of the previous year's Quidditch team, "It's gonna be a good year. Why?"

"Because Albie Dennison's gone," Mary MacDonald murmured, and there was an appreciative titter from the rest of the team.

"Yeah," James said, nodding, "I guess that is a contributing factor. But no, I was thinking of something else."

"Why's it going to be good then, James?" Sirius asked, putting a hand up to his face to mask his yawn. He smacked his lips together and looked sleepily back at his best friend.

James grinned smugly. "One, because I'm captaining."

"Really? I would _never_ have guessed _that_."

"Two, because Sirius is actually going to turn up for practice..."

"I bloody am not."

"And three," James said, smiling slightly at Sirius's comment, "We're going to win if it kills us."

"I'd have taken that for granted."

"Can we just get on with the bloody try-outs?" Sinead groaned. "We want two new players, not a lecture."

"I'm not lecturing," James snapped, but Sirius snorted. James turned to look at him. "What?"

"You're morphing into Albie Dennison. That's not a good character to idolise," Sirius told him flatly, before standing up and facing the anxious gaggle of first years. "Come on then! Stop hovering and hop on your broomsticks."

* * *

Unsurprisingly, none of the first years made the team, although rather a few had to be escorted to the hospital wing and one managed to deface a gargoyle.

The keeper was replaced very quickly; an incredibly tall girl with a square jaw and coil upon coil of vivid red hair from fourth year named Aoife saved every goal without appearing to exert any effort and throwing the Quaffle back with such power it almost winded Liberty and when Sirius referred to her as Goliath she delivered such a blow to his stomach that he was forced to double over, struggling to regain composure.

The beater took longer to replace. There were several close calls; a girl named Janet Twicks who had a very powerful hit but a useless aim, a boy named Romeo Tyne who hit all of the bludgers Sirius whacked at him until he dropped his bat and it hit a third year on the head, and a second year named Roger Blackstone who did his trial quite well until he missed one and in a rage punched James in the face to vent his anger. When they dismissed him and looked back to the dwindling people left, the new Gryffindor captain had just about lost the will to live.

Meanwhile the female members of the group seemed to have congregated away from Sirius and James, who were feeling very inferior with the amount of oestrogen that seemed to be forming the Gryffindor Quidditch team as of late.

"This beater better be a bloke," Sirius told James miserably, glancing over at the girls, who all burst into hysterical giggles.

Just as all hope seemed to have extinguished, the fifth from last hopeful appeared.

A boy in his fifth year with a square jaw and a stocky build sauntered into the centre of the pitch, cocky grin plastered on his face. He nodded at James, mounted his broom and gave a thumbs up to Sirius before the first could even ask for his name.

It was like the great cloud of beater-depression had lifted. The kid hit every bludger shot at him, and whacked it in course of the targets strung up. When he hit a fifth bludger and got a bulls-eye, James almost keeled over from happiness.

The boy landed, let out a gust of breath and smiled. "Did I make it then?"

James grinned and nodded vigorously, before regaining his cocky facade. "You're alright kid, I suppose."

"I'm better than alright," the boy replied, shaking his head. "I'm bloody brilliant. When's practice?"

"Don't get ahead of yourself," James said, although he grinned. "What's your name, kiddo?"

"Ludo," the boy replied. "Bagman."

"Well, then, see you tonight for training then, Ludo," James said, clapping their new addition on the back.

"I look forward to it."

As soon as he was out of earshot, James whistled, before turning to Sirius. "What d'you think, Pads?"

"Oh, he's good," Sirius commended, nodding, before frowning. "Hey, wait a minute. Practice to_night_?"

"Well," James said with a cocky smile, "He's rather blown you out of the water, Sirius old chum. I don't want to have to replace you too." And he blew his whistle, called for the chasers to come and practice and left a rather affronted looking Sirius to muse over what had just happened.

* * *

_Dear Pete,_

_India and I are now man and wife. It was a fantastic wedding; I wish you could have seen it..._

Peter didn't.

_...you'd have really enjoyed yourself. India of course looked beautiful. I didn't look too bad either, but what can I say?..._

"Twat," muttered Peter, hands tightening on the corners of the parchment as he read on.

_...Actually, Peter, it might interest you to know that India's expecting a baby! You're going to be an uncle! I think it'll pop soon, she's the size of a planet..._

For all his sentiment of nicking Peter's favourite sock, his brother could be the most tactless bastard when he wanted to be.

_We're thinking of names. If it's a girl, we'll call her Africa, after the place of her birth..._

If they did that for every child, he'd be called Wellington. Peter rolled his eyes.

_...but if it's a boy, we'll name him Peter, after you. I know you probably won't reply..._

"Got that right."

_...but even if you don't, we'll name him that anyway. I owe so much to you Peter. You probably feel abandoned by me, with Mum..._

The parchment's life had reached an end as it was crumpled roughly into a ball and hurled into the fireplace. How did Benjamin expect him to feel? He wasn't exactly on the brink of ecstasy at the prospect of his brother having a child; in fact that was the worst case scenario he could imagine. If they were starting a family in _Africa_, Benjamin Pettigrew was definitely not returning to Britain, to their mother, to Peter. He had abandoned them in Peter's eyes, and nothing he could say could justify his actions, not even naming a stupid brat of a child after him.

After all, he hated children, and children hated him.

The portrait hole opened and Peter flinched, swirling around to identify the intruder, revealing it to be a very mud-splattered Sirius Black and a very clean looking Lily Evans, both of whom seemed to be caught up in some kind of discussion.

"-and he thinks he's king, and I really think he needs to get his head-checked."

"I've been telling you he's an arrogant fool for eons, I don't know what you expect me to do about it," Lily snapped, rolling her eyes and pushing Sirius in the direction of the fireplace. "Keep moving."

"But he's infuriating! I want to slaughter him at the moment, that bloody swagger he's adopted..."

"You're a fine one to talk, Black," Lily laughed. "You're king of the melodramatics..."

"Hey!"

"...the arrogance..."

"Hold up there..."

"You're an all round ignorant fool, Sirius Black." Lily grabbed a textbook from beside the fire, smiled at Peter and stalked off in the direction of the girls' dormitory, leaving Sirius to flop into a chair and glare stormily at the fireplace without so much as acknowledging Peter.

Peter cleared his throat.

Sirius looked up. "Yes? Something you wanted?"

"Oh, fine then," Peter snapped. "I was only saying hello. Don't bite my head off."

"Shut up, Peter," Sirius replied, equally as heatedly. "Just piss off to whatever girl you fancy now, okay, and get off my back."

Peter glowered at Sirius. "You think you're so important all because your family are death eaters, but shit happens to other people too, you know. Just because they don't choose to _broadcast_ it to everyone they meet..."

"What are you wittering on about now?"

"_Oh_," Peter said theatrically, sweeping his whole being up and appearing an inch or two taller from the effort, "Look at _me_. My name's Sirius and I have an _awful_ life. Sometimes my family _hate_ me so much they cull my _pocket money_..."

"Shut the hell up!" Sirius yelled, leaping to his feet, but Peter seemed to be in full swing now.

"You don't give a _damn_ about_ anyone_ but yourself, _do_ you?" he bellowed, cheeks flustered. "You don't _care_! You're so wrapped up in your own _dramas_ to notice anyone else's! You're a _selfish bastard_!"

"What the hell's going on in here?"

Sirius lowered his fist; Peter straightened his shirt and took a deep breath. Remus stepped in between them, a confused frown on his face. "What's going on?" he repeated calmly.

Peter raised his hands. "Ask _him_. You only care about him, after all."

"Peter..." Remus called after his friend's retreating back, but Sirius caught his arm.

"Leave him alone. He's in a right hiss over something."

"What happened?" Remus asked, the same calm tone flavouring his voice.

"He had a right go at me for no reason," Sirius snapped, spitting into the grate of the fireplace, the dwindling flames hissing a little. "He said I was selfish and I... never thought... hold on," he said, and he knelt down by the fire.

"What, what is it?" Remus asked, crouching next to him and frowning into the grate.

Sirius pointed to a crumpled ball of something that had fallen from the coals, tarnished and charred from the few flames that had hit it, but not quite disintegrated. Despite its slightly burnt appearance, it was still distinctively parchment, and it looked fresh.  
Sirius turned to look at Remus, meeting his gaze. "I think I owe Pete an apology."

Remus nodded. "I think there's more happening to Peter than meets the eye," he agreed. "And I think we need to find out, before we end up losing his friendship permanently."

**Thank yooooooou!**


	27. In which Lily accuses

**Oh my Goodness guys and girls! 200 reviews! Thank you ever so much for you taking the time to review. It really means a lot to me and I'm so pleased that you do. This is for all of you who reviewed the last chapter: Rainbow Dust, EmilyLupin77, Scandalacious Intentions, WizardWay, deathisthenextgreatadventure, samira parsa, Painismyenvying, PureAwesomeness13, MillyMB, Spongyllama and Geek09. Thank you :D**

Lily rolled over, pulling a pillow over her head and sighing heavily as she heard the door shut for the fourth time that evening, Mary re-entering the room. Her sleep had already been disturbed by the stifling heat in the dormitory without Mary's restlessness.

"Lils," Mary hissed over to her; Lily groaned.

"What?"

"He's waiting outside for you," she told her, pursing her lips and seating herself on Lily's bed. Lily sighed loudly.

"Tell him to get lost." She didn't even have to ask who it was to know exactly who was visiting her at this hour.

Mary bit her lip. "He says he won't go until you come out."

"Well, he'll have to wait till morning, then."

"Oh, Lily, just go outside and tell him to stuff it," Mary snapped, and Lily raised her eyebrows.

"Why should _I_ go out?"

Mary rubbed her eyes with the heels of her hands. "Lily, just do it. I want to go to sleep."

"You don't have to answer to his every need," Lily told her, but she obeyed Mary anyway, flipping her red hair over her shoulder and leaving the dorm, pushing the portrait hole open.

"What do you want?"

Severus Snape's jet black eyes bore into hers. "I'm sorry."

Her heart tightened painfully.

* * *

"If we don't win then I'll eat my dress robes," James said confidently as they dismounted their brooms after an hour's Quidditch practice. He looked even more windswept than usual and his cheeks were very pink from the raw wind. "Believe me, I don't want to eat them, they've been in my wardrobe since I was five. Completely moth-ridden, all covered in mildew and some creepy green stuff that got on there from an experiment." He shrugged and grinned at the team. "We'll bring Hufflepuff crashing."

"That's not particularly hard," Sirius said, smirking slightly. Aoife rolled her eyes at him, pulling her hair from beneath the woollen hat she was wearing and smoothing out her very long turtle-neck jumper.

"The Hufflepuffs have more juice than anyone gives them credit for," she said wisely. Ludo snorted.

"They have no juice whatsoever," he said confidently, "and that they do have will be wrung out and drunk in victory."

Liberty raised cynical eyebrows at him; Ludo grinned. "Well, chaps, great fun it's been. See you at the match." And with that, he stalked off, leaving Sinead and Mary to whistle after him.

"He's a right snarky prick, that one," Aoife commented, glaring after his retreating back. Sirius nodded with a grin.

"He plays well and he doesn't bludgeon anyone to death," James told them. "I don't care if he's an insufferable dickhead. He's valuable and that's all that matters."

"Whoever needs teamwork anymore?" Mary said, voice dripping with cynicism.

"Exactly." James brushed some flaking mud from his elbow and turned to grin at them. "Moving on. Mary, please learn to catch the snitch properly before I can no longer reign in my desire to catch it for you."

Mary smiled sweetly. "James, please learn to speak to a woman properly before I can no longer reign in my desire to castrate you and grate your testicles as cheese for Severus Snape's dinner."

"Oh, mate," Sirius said, patting him on the shoulder. "You just got owned."

"Don't you get so cocky Black," Mary interjected, smile growing wider. "You're number one on the list of grievous bodily harm I wish to inflict."

* * *

"Oi, Evans."

Lily looked up from her book at the hiss and turned her head to the side, tucking a strand of hair behind her head. When she saw who had called, she glanced down at her watch and smirked a little. Right on time, third week of charms, ten past the hour. "No, Potter," she said immediately, grinning when she heard his sigh.

"How did you know what I was going to ask required the answer of 'no'?" James asked indignantly, though there was a playful smile at his lips. "It could have been, 'What's your opinion on the state of the economy?'. Then how would you have answered the question with a 'No, Potter', huh?"

Lily covered her mouth to hide her grin. "Potter, this has become an annual thing, dear. Every single year at ten minutes past something or other, you ask me out, I reject you, you start with your clever talk, I return to my work."

James nudged Sirius and whispered audibly "She called me 'dear'." He winked. Lily snorted and turned back to her charms book.

"Oi, Evans, though," James called louder, leaning across the desk. She rocked back in her chair so that she was leant on the side of the wooden table and looked at him.

"Yes?"

"Why won't you go out with me?" he asked her. "Is it because I'm too handsome for you?"

"Oh, indeed," Lily said, suppressing a giggle by forcing her tongue between her teeth. "I'd hate to date you for precisely that reason."

"I knew it," James replied, and Lily chuckled. "But in all seriousness, why don't you fancy me?"

Lily blushed a little. "It's not a case of whether I fancy you or not," she said slowly. "It's more the fact that I don't actually think very highly of you in the first place."

"Charmed, I'm sure."

"You're pretty immature, Potter," Lily told him honestly, turning around to face him. "You went briefly adult for the first week, which, can I just say, was plain weird, but now you've regressed."

"And?" James said softly, leaning towards her, eyes going slightly cross-eyed as they continued to focus on her.

"It's perverse to lust over children," whispered Lily, and she rocked back into her seat on the desk, leaving James to sit there, staring after her.

* * *

"And how did attempt number fifteen this week go?" Remus asked as James sat himself next to him in Defence that afternoon.

"I'm telling you she's into me," James told him with wide eyes, "She just doesn't know it yet. We almost kissed, you know."

"They did not," Sirius interjected, pulling an apple from his bag and buffing it up on the sleeve of his robes. "Their faces were a bit close, but you could still fit a family in there."

"It was very sexual," snapped James. He grinned at Remus. "We'll be together one day, you know, Rem."

"Yeah, when Nifflers fly, or Snape washes his hair," snorted Sirius. "Honestly mate, you're so besotted with her, it's unhealthy." He bit into the apple and chewed, nodding vigorously, before gulping. "Take me for example. No emotional attachment to any girl, at least not deep. And I'm a nice healthy lad because of it. So what I'd say is, move on, Prongs."

"Because that will get you very far in life," the voice of Professor Winslow announced, and Sirius looked up, smiling at the dark haired woman. "You can't treat women like that, my dear boy, else you'll find yourself on the top of a lot of 'men I'd like to hurt' lists."

James snorted; Winslow moved to the front of the class and smiled. "How are you lot, then?" she asked. "Ready to rumble?"

Sirius turned to James, grinning. "Seriously though," he hissed, "You should try kissing someone else for a change. You might like it."

"Yeah," James said thoughtfully. "Might make her jealous."

"I think it's cute," Peter interjected from his seat the other side of Remus, opening a packet of jelly slugs and offering them to the other three. "He's very devoted, our James."

"You _would_ think it's cute," Sirius said, grinning. "You're a bit of a girl when it comes to things like that."

"Shut up, Sirius," Remus sighed. He patted James on the shoulder. "You lust over whoever you like. Don't listen to Padfoot."

"She called him immature and insinuated that dating him would make her a paedophile," Sirius said, smiling as James groaned, slumping forward onto the desk.

"So what actually happened?" Remus enquired, looking amusedly from James to Sirius. Sirius leaned over the top of James to bridge the gap and hiss to him.

"He asked her out. She rejected him. He asked if it was because he was too handsome. She called him immature."

From the other side of the classroom, Lily looked up and locked eyes with Sirius.

"Boys at the back, am I going to have to separate you?" Winslow called over. She had her eyebrows pinched together in a questioning frown, lips slightly pursed. "I'd expect that from first years, not NEWT students. You should take example from the girls. Miss MacDonald and Miss Evans have not disturbed the lesson in anyway whatsoever and they _both_ beat you on the essay from last week."

"Oh, Miss," James said, glancing over at Lily with a wicked grin. "I'm sorry. I'm very immature."

A few desks in front, Lily formed a curtain with her hair to hide her smile.

**So, it was quite a short chapter and it was mainly enforcing Lily and James but I was a bit stuck as to what to write and I wanted to update because I am a horrible person for ABANDOMING YOU ALL FOR LIKE A MONTH! I had initially planned to update on this fic's first birthday but I kind of missed the bandwagon for that so... Yeah!**

**Thank you!**

**Rocky**

**xx**


	28. In which Sirius eats apple pie

**It's been a while, hasn't it? :D**

**So, thank you very much to my gorgeous wonderful lovely reviewers. I love the support you guys always give me so thanks :) **

"We slaughtered 'em, we slaughtered 'em!"

James grinned as he was hoisted onto the shoulders of two burly seventh years, held above the crowd. All he could see was a sea of red clad supporters winding their way up to the Gryffindor tower, ready for a very raucous party. Even McGonagall, who was so hard to impress even with what James considered to be his magnificent sense of humour, had taken her hat off and allowed a first year to pin a Gryffindor rosette to her chest. He had never seen her look so amused in his life.

"Here!" someone yelled from along the hall, "let's cheer on our new captain!"

"For not being as big a turd as Albie Dennison," another voice added, and there was a huge cheer before a loud chorus of "For he's a jolly good fellow" hit the air.

James couldn't say he wasn't enjoying this sense of pride. Being a captain obviously did have its highlights, and for the first time he could see why Dennison's head might have been so swollen. "Oi, put me down, lads," he said, patting the two seventh years' heads. They had reached the seventh floor and the portrait of the Fat Lady was in sight. The boys obliged and allowed him to walk the rest of the way to the common room, falling into conversation about the game.

James weaved through to find Sirius, who currently had his arm around a very giggly blonde girl James didn't recognise. "Alright?" he asked lazily, causing the girl to let out an almost hysterical shriek of laughter. Sirius glanced sideways at her before returning to smirk at James. "How's the magisterial treatment of captaincy suiting you?"

"Fantastically," James replied, ruffling his hair. "It's actually quite easy to see why Albie Dennison had such a huge ego."

"It's a good job your ego's small," a sarcastic voice from his other side joined, and he turned to see a tired looking Remus, a striking grey against the otherwise scarlet supporters. "If yours was any bigger the solar system would orbit you."

"You often say the universe revolves around me," replied James, giving a debonair flick of the wrist. Remus sighed, before clutching his head.

"Are you okay?" All satire had dropped from James's voice as he looked genuinely concerned at his friend.

"Yeah, I think so," Remus replied, shaking his head slowly. "I feel a bit dizzy but..."

"Is it that time of the month?" Sirius asked with contempt. Remus forced a fake laugh to humour the blonde girl, before murmuring "No, it's far from it."

An expression briefly washed over Sirius's features before he composed himself. He smiled at the blonde and gave her a gentle shove towards the portrait hole. "I'll meet you inside." Grabbing the two boys he instead turned to pull them from the crowd, which turned out to be a surprisingly easier feat than he had deemed possible.

"What's up, Rem?" James asked, as soon as they had freed themselves from the stampede of people, concern etched on his face. He put a hand on Remus's shoulder.

Remus gritted his teeth. "I don't know. I've just... my head's killing me."

"Maybe you're coming down with something?" Sirius suggested with a frown. James nodded in support.

"Yeah," Remus agreed, rubbing a spot above his left eye gingerly. "I think I just need an early night."

"No chance of that," Sirius said, smiling though his eyes still looked a little creased. "I think this party could last the weekend through."

"It won't," James said, also grinning. "McGonagall'll do her nut if it does." He turned to look at Remus, clapping his shoulder. "Come on, Moony. Maybe if you have a drink you'll feel better."

"Okay," Remus said, inhaling deeply. "We'll see."

* * *

"Were you truly wafted here from paradise?"

Bellatrix gritted her teeth and furrowed her brow, hand slipping into her robes to secure around her wand. Slowly, she turned to face the male voice behind her.

It was a man, a man in his thirties she assumed, with an awkward fringe and hair much longer and shaggier than it should have been, like many of those 'rock stars' she saw advertised in London. A turtle necked green jumper hugged his torso, flared denim jeans on his legs. He screamed muggle to Bellatrix.

She tilted her head to the side and gave her best dazzling smile. "I don't know. Was I?"

He grinned and moved closer towards her. "Not a Campari fan then?"

Bellatrix shrugged and smiled. "What's Campari?"

He was now so close she could smell him; her nose wrinkled slightly as she detected strong aftershave and the mingling smell of diesel petrol. "How about I take you for a drink and show you, gorgeous?"

Bellatrix couldn't think of a worse idea. "What's your name?"

"Max," he replied, and she could feel his breath on her cheek. "And yours, pussy-cat?"

"Well, Max," she said coldly, "I don't take well to scum who treat superiors with such little respect."

"What the heck?"

She gave a venomous chuckle, before pulling out her wand. "_Crucio!_"

Max fell to his knees with a sickening crunch, head rocking backwards. Bellatrix watched with a nasty smile imprinted on her face. He looked up, gritting his teeth.

"You _bitch_," he said sourly through ragged breath. "You..."

"Goodbye Max," Bellatrix said loudly, before a flash of green light siphoned through the air and Max slumped into a deathly still pile.

Bellatrix poked him with her toe. When no movement was registered, she beamed, before turning back to her work in the warehouse.

Pulling the sleeve of her left arm back to her elbow, she pressed the tip of her wand to the inked pattern spreading on her forearm.

Immediately the snake began writhing as if trying to burst from her skin; she gave a small chuckle and closed her eyes, biting her lip.

The doors to the warehouse opened behind her. Bellatrix opened her eyes and turned.

"Well?"

"My Lord," she said, weaving her hands together and grinning widely. "We know where the diary is."

* * *

"Affle fie'sh deli-shuh."

"What was that?"

Sirius took a huge gulp and smiled. "Apple pie. Delicious."

Mary wrinkled her nose. "Brilliant."

"Have some," Sirius said, cutting a piece of his pie off with the edge of his spoon and lifting it to Mary's face, who recoiled almost immediately.

"I'm not sharing your spoon," she snapped. "You might have an illness."

"Oh," Sirius said, smirking. "Charming. I notice you never complained whenever we..." He wiggled his eyebrows.  
Mary looked disgusted. "We snogged. _Once_. You are such a dickhead."

"I pride myself on that fact." Sirius grinned as Mary pushed her chair back and jumped to her feet. James took her seat instead, eyes following the brunette as she wandered off towards her gaggle of female friends, apparently going to tell them her outrage at Sirius. "How you ever manage to get girlfriends when you act so misogynistic is a wonder."

"That's a big word," Sirius replied with a sugary smile. "Pie?"

James took the spoon from his friend and tried the pudding without a second thought. "Ahhhhh, fosh, deli-shuh."

"I said that," Sirius said, sweeping his hair back from his face. "Mary didn't agree."

"Whaff she know?" He swallowed and pulled Sirius's plate towards him. "So, basically, with such a stunning victory under our belts..."

"Albie Dennison's bleeding through," Sirius said with a small smile. James rolled his eyes and continued.

"Well, anyway. Because we've done so well, we need to do some more practice. We have to beat our previous score, we must _excel_."

"Huzzah." Sirius stopped and looked horrified. "_More_ practice?"

"Yup." James cut another spoonful from the plate.

"We do e-bloody-nough already."

"We need more."

"We bloody don't," Sirius snapped. "It's getting colder. I don't want to go outside even more than already." He pulled his plate back. "We don't need to do practice. We're all flipping healthy because of marching up to the bloody seventh floor every day."

"Alright, point proven."

"Thank you." Sirius shoved another spoonful of pie into his mouth and chewed violently. James rolled his eyes and rocked back, putting his feet up on the coffee table they sat at. A book slammed down next to them, and both flinched a little.

"Make your entrance known, why don't you," James said with a snort as Remus pulled a seat next to him out. "I thought you were getting an early night."

"Sod that," Remus snapped, and he flicked the book open, tracing his finger along some Celtic looking writing. "I can't sleep with all the bloody noise."

"So you're deciding to study instead?" Sirius smirked at James. Remus clucked his tongue.

"I'm reading up."

"About?"

Remus blushed a little. "Mystery silhouettes."

"What?" Sirius asked, dropping his spoon into his plate. "I'd forgotten about that. I'll bet you anything that it was just some Slytherin snooping around."

"I've seen it more than once."

"You've _what_?"

"Whilst I'm thoroughly enjoying your little conversation," James interjected, "do either of you want to explain what the bloody hell it's about?"

Sirius met his curious gaze and brushed his jumper. "We saw this silhouette once while we were sitting outside. Apparently Remus and it have a history."

"So someone's stalking you?" James asked, rubbing his forehead.

"Someone or something," Remus replied with a nod. "I have no idea what though." He lifted the book slightly. "This is what I'm researching."

Sirius jutted his lip and nodded slowly, craning over to have a look. "How many times you seen it?"

"Twice."

James snorted. "Only twice? That's hardly anything to go on."

"It's the circumstances that are weird," Remus replied. "I saw it in my back garden when Sirius arrived in the summer. I saw it when I was sitting outside _with_ Sirius."

"So?" James said with a sigh. "The first silhouette was probably my Dad. The second was probably some creep like Snape. In fact, I'll bet it was Snape, just trying to get you two into more shit. Obviously nothing to worry about." He stood up, smiled, and straightened his clothes. "Well, I must say chaps, I'm cream crackered. So I'm off to bed. Au revoir."

Once he was out of earshot, Remus turned to Sirius. "What do you think? Do you think that's weird?"

Sirius shrugged with a slightly uneasy expression. "I'm not sure. I mean... he could have a point, you know. It could have just been Charlus or Drom or even me you saw... but..."

"I know it wasn't Sirius, I know what the three of you look like," Remus snapped. He closed the book and put his head on it. "I have such a headache."

"Seriously Remus, do you think you should go to the hospital wing?" Sirius asked, a sudden shot of concern saturating his voice. "You don't look well at all."

"I'm _fine_," Remus snapped. "Leave me a_lone_."

"Fine then," Sirius replied coolly. "Don't come whining to me in the morning."

"Bugger off, Sirius."

* * *

"You _know_ where the diary is." The dark haired, waxy skinned man in front of Bellatrix smiled slightly, licking his top lip.

Bellatrix nodded eagerly. "We have pinpointed its whereabouts. The Lestrange brothers are on the case at the moment. It is in the possession of a Mr Andrew Doford, it seems."

"It seems," repeated the man, nodding slightly. Bellatrix beamed in response. "So you do not know for sure."

"I'm positive it belongs to this man," Bellatrix said, her smile faltering a little. "And if it doesn't, we'll track it to the next location."

"So, you're not even of complete certainty as to its current position," the man said, smile growing wider. "Then explain to me, Bellatrix, why you thought it a good idea to summon me?"

A small pout appeared on Bellatrix's face. "My Lord, you requested that we contact you as soon as we knew _anything_."

The man sighed heavily. "I understand. You have done well, Bellatrix."

Bellatrix's beam was restored; she fell into a sort of enthusiastic curtsey. "Thank you, my Lord."

"But," the man said, cutting her off, meeting her eager eyes, "do not summon me _until_ you have it. I will not take well to failure."

Bellatrix nodded vigorously. "I won't fail you, my Lord."

The smile on the man's waxy face glittered.

* * *

Unable to bare the heat of the dormitory any longer, Remus disentangled himself from the twisted sheets and slipped on the tatty old pair of slippers at the foot of his bed, heading as quietly as he could to the bathroom. He could hear Peter's heavy breathing, see Sirius hanging half out of bed in a way that Remus had never been able to understand how he slept. James lay in the makeshift hammock he and Sirius had constructed once between their two beds, one leg hanging a few feet above where Demetrius Figg had collapsed beneath him.

It was cooler in the bathroom; the window was on the vent, cool air seeping through. Splashing cold water over his face, Remus inhaled deeply, looking at his reflection in the mirror. He looked pale as usual, fringe damp from the water, eyes shadowed with tiredness. Just thinking about the bags made him yawn; he sighed and turned to look through the window.

His stomach went cold.

"What do you want?" he whispered, aware of his pulse picking up.

Slowly, the silhouette raised a hand, and pointed straight at Remus.

His stomach plummeted.

**There you are! :D**

**Rocky**

**x**


	29. In which Peter is rudely awoken

**Ohhhhhhhhhhh my gosh. Sorry.**

**I'm not even going to bother with an excuse or try to grovel to you in my A/N. You are entitled to skip it and then tear this chapter to shreds.**

**(But it's long.)**

**Thanks to everyone who reviewed!**

The grass was wet and dewy as it soaked through the slippers on Remus's feet, but he didn't particularly care. The one thing he cared about was finding that shadow, that silhouette.

Sliding along the frost as he raced along, he skidded into the clearing, his heart hammering painfully. He was a little surprised to see the silhouette still there, but this barely registered against the enormous sense of foreboding he felt within as he approached. The figure was shrouded in darkness; Remus could make out nothing of them. He moved closer, his innards like ice.

"Who are you?" he asked, well aware of the tremor in his voice. "Why are you following me?"

The figure turned slightly; a strip of light fell across their face.

Remus's heart was in his throat.

"Hello, Remus," said the silhouette, lowering their hood. "We need your help."

Remus's hands shook a little. "Why should I help _you_?"

"Because," Venetia Avery said, a cruel smile playing at her lips, "You have no choice."

* * *

Sirius woke up abruptly as his head collided with the floor. Cursing himself for falling out of bed for the first time in many years, he sat up, rubbing his eyes sleepily. "Bloody 'ell," he muttered tiredly, before pushing himself unsteadily to his feet.

Everyone else in the dormitory seemed to be conked as he walked through towards the staircase. "As you were, gents," he murmured as he heard someone roll over, before pushing the wooden partition between the dorm and the stairs open.

Nearly Headless Nick met him at the bottom, a rather sombre expression on his ghostly features. "Ah, Mr Black," he said, looking up at Sirius, who nodded.  
"Evening," he greeted. "It's cold in here."

"I wouldn't know," replied Nick with a wistful sigh, and Sirius had to stifle a groan. _Oh, bloody hell, not this again_. However, Nick did not treat Sirius to a lengthy speech of his grizzly death, instead proceeding to tell him that he was to be careful; more than one of the teachers was prowling tonight.

"Cheers," Sirius said sleepily, before pushing his way through the portrait hole and leaving for the outside world. His pyjamas felt ridiculously thin and flimsy as the drafts of the castle hit him, and he half deliberated returning inside, but he didn't dare disturb Nick from his brooding again; he wouldn't be so lucky next time.

Instead he began to traipse down the Grand Staircase, the stone steps cold beneath his bare feet as he descended. His sleepy eyes were beginning to adjust to the dark; he could see the portraits and paintings either sleeping or holding glowing candles as they conversed with neighbours, several shooting dirty looks at him. He nodded to each of them cheerfully.

He reached the Entrance Hall and yawned heavily. No-one seemed to be on patrol, and he was pretty glad about it; if there was thing he didn't want to have to do it was bullshit his way out of an awkward situation in which McGonagall gave him the Spanish Inquisition.

He sat down heavily on the first step of the Grand Staircase and rubbed his hands together, blowing on them to warm them up, when he sensed a lingering presence from somewhere above him. Looking up, he almost jumped out of his skin.

"I think you'd find you'd be a lot warmer in your dormitory," Winslow said acerbically, hands on her hips as she stared down at the boy in front of her. Sirius grinned sheepishly up at her.

"Thing is," he said slowly, "it's proper stuffy in there."

"It's after hours, Black," Winslow said, pursing her lips. Sirius pushed himself to his feet and nodded slowly. She raised an eyebrow. "What's your excuse?"

"I don't have one."

"Oh, come on," Winslow said, rolling her eyes. "I'd have thought of one by now. You're proving yourself to be ridiculously slow." She gave a jerk of her head, gesturing for him to follow. "Come have a cup of tea in my office."

Sirius shuffled uneasily. "I'll go back to bed, I think."

Winslow smirked. "I insist."

Sirius put his hands out. "Hey, listen, okay, there's no hidden reason as to why I'm outside. There's nothing deep and meaningful going on in my life. I literally am just out of bed because I fancied it."

Winslow shrugged. "And I'm just going to make you a cup of tea because I can't be bothered to give you another detention. I don't have the energy to see you every lunchtime and evening as well as every lesson. You're exhausting." She began to ascend the stairs, calling "Come on, Black!"

He'd rather have had McGonagall's inquisition.

* * *

"What do you _mean_, I have no choice?" Remus said coolly, trying very hard to keep his voice level and hard to hide any trace of fear or erratic heart pulsations that felt as if they were audible. Avery's smile was icy. He thought he'd try and boost the level of confidence in his voice. "It's not like you control me."

"Oh, petal," Avery said with a pout of her crimson painted lips, "Let's not pretend we're stronger than we are."

Remus's jaw set. "Says you."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Avery drawled. She pulled her lip back with her teeth, a teasing smile on her face. "Don't you want to know why I'm here, Lupin?" she asked softly, stretching a hand out toward him.

"Not really," Remus replied, leaning away as if she was brandishing a sword at him. "But I'm sure you'll tell me anyway. It seems to be your downfall, you evil folk, you explain all your plans for domination and the hero thwarts you during that arduous speech."

Avery snorted. "You're not a hero though, are you, Lupin? You're the monster the hero tries to slay."

There was a snake of something in the pit of Remus's stomach and he could feel his cheeks prickle as blood rushed to them. He turned to look back at the castle, breathing deeply to try and get his face to clear, Avery's self-satisfaction practically oozing in waves from her body.

"It's not so much that you can help us than we help you, although, the effects are pretty circular, I suppose," Avery told him in a bored voice. "Interested yet?"

"No."

"The Dark Lord wants werewolves."

"And I want to be Ringo Starr but we can't all get what we want," Remus replied shortly. His breathing was level now, but his heart wouldn't stop hammering. "Now if you'll..."

"_Crucio._"

Remus bit hard enough on his lip to draw blood. It wasn't particularly strong this time; Avery didn't seem to have the passion that Sirius's cousin did, but it was still incredibly painful. With a flick of her wrist the curse was lifted as if it was something as trivial as a cough. She twirled her wand like a baton between her fingers as Remus gasped for breath. "The Dark Lord _needs_ werewolves, would be more precise. Werewolves to work as undercover agents. Werewolves to help underground, to help the plan."

"And after all of that hassle you put me through last year you think I'm going to just put aside our differences?" Remus snorted, chancing a glance in the direction of the castle. "_Yeah_, right. Okay."

"Oh, Lupin, please stop wommiting on. This is pleasant for neither of us." She smoothed her skirt and sat on a fell tree trunk in the area, her cloak splayed underneath her like an ebony picnic blanket. "You know, if this world was just, you wouldn't have to hide your secret."

"Hmm. If this world was just, you wouldn't have been bullying me last year. If this world was just, Avery, you'd be behind bars."

She gave a small laugh. "It's made you cynical though. Satirical. You pretend to see everything as a joke, that's your armour."

"And how do you know my wonderful ability of satire isn't a gift bestowed upon me by the gods?" Remus snapped, quizzical eyebrows raised. The castle didn't seem to be stirring.

"Exactly." Avery's smile glittered. "You are hiding beneath a shield, Lupin, there's no doubt about it. A shroud of lampoon, shall we say. It was a fight to get into Hogwarts, and even here you can't be yourself. Just ask yourself, what will the real world offer? What's the future for Remus Lupin? A whole _realm_ of muggle opportunity awaits you. Dustbin man? Street cleaner? Maybe even homeless?"

His smirk dropped. She was right. Nothing awaited anyone with any kind of magical affliction other than abuse. What would he do? All his high flying dreams, all of his ambitions... how many of them would he realistically achieve? Even if he changed his name, an alias, wouldn't they realise he was sick once a month? Three second year boys had discovered his secret; a bunch of middle-aged wizards with experience in the field were more than likely to figure him out in less than a day.

Avery stood up and moved towards him, pouting slightly. "He can offer you _rights_, Remus." She began to circle him slowly. "He can offer you work and rights and so much more than _they_ can. Join Dawlish and her band of morons and slave away for virtually no pay and fall into the dregs of society. Join Dawlish and be treated like an amoeba on a flea on a rat; no credibility, no status, no nothing. Join Him and experience what you _should_ be treated like. Join Him and know that the work you are doing is helping to serve a greater purpose, a purpose that will reinstate your kind into their rightful place. Join Him, Remus Lupin, and get a _proper_ life, a _deserving_ life."

Remus's eyes skittered up from her feet to meet her eyes. She stared at him expectantly.

"Well," he said slowly, "it all sounds very nice, like a package holiday or the like. Polishes up well, your leader."

"It makes sense," Avery replied, tilting her head backwards.

"What I don't understand though," Remus continued, sliding his hands into his pockets, "is how you expect me to join you after what you said to me last year. It's sort of hypocritical of you, don't you think?"

"I don't think-" Avery began, but she was cut off by a jet of red light and she fell backwards, stunned. Remus let out a held breath and rubbed his chest to try and soothe his pounding heart, before turning back towards the castle and shooting red sparks from the tip of his wand.

* * *

"Sugar?"

"Yeah, please."

"One or two?"

"Four."

"That's pretty bad for your teeth, Professor," Sirius said with a grin, and Winslow shrugged.

"It's nice though," she said, smacking her lips together. She peered into the cup and snorted. "This is a pathetic cup of tea. Have you no skill whatsoever, child?"

Sirius sat down opposite her, pressing his own cup to his lips. "What do you mean? I thought it looked okay. You asked for milk."

"I asked for tea as well, which it appears there is none. This is hot, sugary milk." She took a swig and winked, and Sirius leant back uncomfortably in his own chair. "So," she said, pulling her drawer open and lighting a cigarette, "How're you finding sixth year?"

"No offence, Professor, but this is a pretty strange subject topic for..." he consulted his watch "...four in the morning. In fact, this whole scenario's pretty bizarre. You can't really have called me here to test my tea making skills and give me a parents' evening."

"I wanted to talk to you about something specific actually," Winslow told him, staring over the top of her mug at him. "The opportunity just presented itself now." She wrinkled her nose. "Of course, if I had a proper cup of tea I could concentrate better..."

"Leave my tea making skills alone, okay?" Sirius said, a grin growing on his face, and she laughed. "I was just following instruction."

"Oh, so it's my fault that you take things so literally." She rolled her eyes, taking another drag of her cigarette. "You don't mind if I smoke?"

"I live in London," Sirius said. "If you're not in smog you're in fumes." He rubbed his eyes sleepily. "So?"

"It's about your work, actually," Winslow said, putting her cigarette down.

"Oh, Merlin."

"Don't sound like that," she said with a smoke-fumed laugh, rolling her eye at him. "It's very good." She frowned. "When it's not Remus's work submitted for you. Do you pay him? The four of you seem to have identical essays and if it was me I'd deliberately screw yours up."

"No, he's just a very nice person."

"It would definitely seem that way." She grinned and produced a batch of essays. "So we don't count these ones. But the three you did yourself were brilliant. In fact, maybe even better. Though I'm sure Remus doesn't go all out on your essays."

Sirius nodded slowly. "Alright."  
"Do you see what I'm trying to tell you?"

"No."

"If you tried a little bit harder to get your essays in and had just a smidge more confidence in your own learning ability, then there's no doubt that you could achieve an outstanding."

_Teacher language_, thought Sirius. All teachers seemed to have this cryptic spiel, a longwinded way of telling him something that he quite frankly disagreed with.

"Alright."

"Come on, Black," Winslow said, pushing his essays towards him, and Sirius's face contorted with mock horror, to which she laughed. "Okay, I won't _force_ you to read them, Black, stop looking so pained. But you should. They're really –"

There was a bang from outside.

"What was that?" Sirius asked, spinning round to peer out of her window. The sky was illuminated with a shower of red sparks, the grass glowing as if on fire. Winslow joined him, looking over his shoulder.

"Bloody hell, I'd better go check that out," she said, throwing her cigarette over her shoulder and impressively landing it in her mug of tea with a small sploosh. She grabbed her coat from a hook on the back of her door and threw it over her shoulders. "_Stay_ in here, Black," she told him. He nodded innocently and could tell that she already didn't believe him, but nevertheless she left the room, the door latching behind her.

Sirius waited all of thirty seconds before he began to follow.

* * *

The bang made the windows wobble in their frames and James sat bolt upright, the hammock swaying dangerously and ejecting him from it, landing on top of Demetrius Figg. Without apologising, he scrambled to his feet to peer through the panes of glass at the sky above. The world was an incomprehensible blur, and James realised that he hadn't got his glasses on. Come to think of it, he had no idea where they were or what he'd done with them. Maybe Sirius had them with him – it wouldn't be the first time he'd nicked them and stowed them away somewhere in the depths of his possessions.

James could feel the fading giddiness of his alcohol consumption and the creeping corners of a headache beginning to crop as he shoved his hand into Sirius's pillowcase, rummaging around for his lost glasses. When he couldn't find them he slammed his hand down to prod Sirius awake, but was only met by a tangle of bed sheets.

Frowning and ruffling his hair, James straightened up and rubbed his eyes to try and clear them a bit more. That was the downer of being so short-sighted; sleepy eyes were as good a use as blind ones and he didn't have that practised sense of hearing to help him through the bleakness either.

"Pete, Pete," he croaked, and he heard the groan and rustle of sheets that indicated Peter had rolled away from him. "Wormtail, you useless lump of lard, where are my glasses?"

"Dun call me tha'," yawned Peter, and James sighed heavily, turning around.

"I can't find them bloody anywhere, Pete, it's ridiculous," he murmured, stripping Sirius's bed down in search.

"Have you summoned them?" Peter mumbled sleepily.

James stopped and put a finger up. "No I haven't. Good idea. _Accio._"

"G'nigh'."

"Peter, don't go to sleep!" James said, fixing his glasses on the bridge of his nose and whacking Peter with a pillow. "We must go investigate."

"Too tired to go out."  
"Wormtail, get up!" James grabbed his ankle and began to drag him from the mattress, Peter hitting the floor with a thud and jolting awake. "Thank you," James said with a smirk, hauling him to his feet, grabbing the invisibility cloak and leading the way to the staircase that descended to the common room. "Let's go find out what the commotion's about."

"I'm guessing all our favourite people will be there, as usual," Peter muttered, stomping behind James. "Mulciber, Avery, Rosier, Macnair... no doubt making something horrible that'll get sporks buried in your balls..."

"You're such a cheerful person, Pete, aren't you?"

"I'm just saying..."

"Well, don't." James pushed the portrait of the Fat Lady open and clambered through the hole leading to the seventh floor, pulling the cloak over their heads as they went. "Be happy, eh, Pete? Think. It could be something interesting."

"Interesting things are usually bad," muttered Peter, but after a glance from James he sighed. "Alright, alright, I'll shut up. I'm just saying that if we get into a situation where we have bloody things sprouting from our bits then..."

"La-la-la, can't hear you!" James sung, plugging his fingers in his ears and grinning, Peter continuing to muse to himself.

* * *

"So, she's been stalking you?"

Remus looked up at Sirius with a pointed expression. "No, Sirius, I invited her here."

Sirius raised his eyebrows. "Alright, mate, I get your point." He exhaled, his breath visible in the cold night air as he watched Winslow and a few other teachers fuss around the unconscious former professor. "Blimey though, fancy her coming to find you of all the Death Eaters. Little Miss Prejudice." He snorted bitterly.

"Yeah, I know," Remus replied, his tone equally as astringent. "She changed her tune a bit, too."

"Well I hardly think that she'll try to recruit you by calling you an animal and trying to fix a dog collar on you. That might defeat the object a little." He sighed and rubbed his hands together. "Seriously. These are scary times."

They fell silent, sitting together and staring ahead at the commotion, neither having anything left to say.

"I don't blame you."

"What?"

"I don't blame you for telling Snape."

"Why do you bring that up now?" Sirius asked, a sort of despairing laugh flavouring his voice as he turned to look at his companion. Remus rubbed his hands together.

"Well, your brother..."

"My brother isn't my brother anymore, they've all made that quite plain to me," Sirius said flatly. "Besides, we've done this already mate. You can't forgive me. I can't say I'm sorry enough. But we're looking past it, yadiya." He winced at how brutal that sounded. "Well, not _quite_ like that..."

"What damage can it do?" Remus asked sourly. "I have no hope in hell. Who am I kidding? A teacher? For where? What qualifications have I got to show for in the Muggle world? What _do_ my qualifications stand for in the wizarding world? How do you lot put up with me?"

"I often wonder," Sirius said, but when Remus looked at him, he saw the smile on his face. "Well, you're always a miserable moping bastard when you think about the future. To be honest, we're getting pretty bored of it." He nudged Remus in the ribs and turned to look straight ahead. "Listen, whatever she's just said, don't let it get to you. You _know_ what she's like, you know she's opinionated, and yeah, there's the odd few like her, but there's a lot who aren't. I'm a prick all month long and I can still get a job. And Snape... Oh, Snape. Knowing him he could probably slick himself into ministerial position. So, shut up."

Remus snorted a little. "You're right about you being a prick."

"You're not supposed to agree with that part."

"But it's the truth, Sirius Black," a voice from behind sounded, and the two boys turned to see the other half of their group arrive, James grinning and Peter looking sleepy and dishevelled. James rubbed his hands together and licked his lips. "What've we missed? I _told_ him we were missing something good. And why're you two in on it? Is this some weird dog sense or something? Some voodoo connection?" He wiggled his fingers. "And now you're having a girl moment just for a bit of finesse. Well, that's fine with me, if you two want to do that."

Remus looked up at him. "James?"

"Moony?"

"Shut up."

**If I told you I'd hopefully have a new chapter up soon would you believe me?**


	30. In which Remus strokes egos

**If you didn't keel over in shock when you saw my name and this story in your inbox and are now glaring angrily at me waiting for an excuse (which I don't have), um... I'm really sorry...**

**Anyway! Hello! I'm back! Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed the last chapter, you lovely people :D Here's the next one. I tried to make it as long as possible and it is really long for my standard, six pages on a word document, but I think the majority of people look at that as a short chapter. It's a bit of a filler, I suppose, or more an unfolding chapter, a transitional chapter. Mmhmm, let's go for that one, it sounds professional. :)**

**Sorry and thanks and enjoy! Rocky x**

"How many minutes left?"

Remus would have looked around to respond to James, but he wasn't sure if he had the energy or ability to turn his head any longer, or whether that had been drained as easily as fluid from him as had everything else. He promised in this moment never to underestimate the drone of Binns' voice ever again.

The assembly hadn't been on fifteen minutes in all truthfulness, but it had already taken its toll on the sixth year students. Peter had gnawed his way through four sugar quills, not even bothering to mask this with the notion of note-taking; James sat slumped with his head resting on his arms, his desk the tidiest Remus had ever seen it. Sirius had given up completely and fallen asleep, using James's satchel as a makeshift pillow, a rejection note from Lily Evans as a cover for his eyes.

Remus, paralysed in his seat, couldn't even remember what the assembly was about. The repetitive monotony of sound emanating from the front had begun to sound less and less like words and more like some sort of insect colony. Every time Binns paused, Remus would look up hopefully, inhaling deeply and hopefully, only for Binns to continue in the same deadpanned fashion, Remus's eyes growing blearier and blearier as his hope ebbed away.

After what seemed an eternity, Professor Dumbledore sprang up behind him, putting his hands up. "Thank you, Professor Binns, for that insightful and stimulating speech," he said, eyes twinkling as they passed over Sirius. "I hope all of you will take Professor Binns' words deep into consideration."

Remus vowed that if he ever recalled them later in life, he would.

"And now, I think it is time to return to your dormitories," Dumbledore said, smiling. "Hurry now, it is getting late. Don't dillydally."

The grumble and scrape of chairs as people stood up sounded, and Remus prodded James from his stupor and Sirius from his sleep, Peter hovering over his shoulder, chewing on the nib of the latest sugar quill thoughtfully. "Well that was a waste of time," he said with a roll of his eyes. "Next time they call an assembly, I'm coming down with Dragon Pox."

"I'd go through that again if it meant I got out of this," Sirius agreed, rubbing his eyes as the moved with the crowd towards the Entrance Hall. He looked up at Remus. "Did you get any notes?"

"Funnily enough, the strain on my ears rendered my other limbs incapable, Sirius," Remus replied with a smirk. "Did you not experience this?"

"It knocked him unconscious," James answered for him, before pushing to the front. "Come on. I fancy going out." He veered away from the general direction of the mass of students and towards the main doors, gesturing for them to follow. "Come on guys! Don't be square."

"Ugh, I can't be _bothered_," Sirius sighed, tilting his head back as he shoved through a group of Hufflepuffs.

"Oi, watch it, Black!" one of them snapped as she was knocked into another, the others glowering at him.

"Yeah, careful, we don't want Puffle Dominoes," a Slytherin boy chipped in, and Sirius grinned as the redheaded girl turned around to give him what for, before pulling on Peter's arm and chivvying the two of them to follow James and he.

"Where are you planning on going?" Remus enquired as James led them behind a pillar. "How're we getting – oh," he said, rolling his eyes as James whipped out his invisibility cloak from beneath his jumper. "Oh, prepared for every occasion, I see."

"Shut up, Moony," James said as he threw the cloak over the four of them as discretely as he could. "Right, bloody hell, Wormtail, you need to go on a diet. This thing's coming up to my kneecaps."

"That's because you're short, Potter," Sirius said as he shuffled uncomfortably under the cloak. "I'm breaking my neck under here, and my hair..."

"Oh, God forbid the hair!" James shrieked, before laughing. "Seriously, we can't all fit under here anymore. Someone go to bed. I vote Peter."

"I second that," Sirius agreed, giving Peter a push. "Go on, get lost."

Peter glared at them indignantly, folding his arms across his chest. "If we could just finish the animagus thing..."

"We'd still have Remus to cover," James said, and Sirius nodded. "Go to bed, Pete."

Remus was about to say something, but Peter was so irritated by now that he huffed off anyway. With a sigh, Remus turned to look at the other two, scepticism clearly etched into his face.

"What?"

"That was really rude, you know," he replied, frowning. The other two boys stood in silence for a few moments before Sirius shrugged.

"Oh well, he'll get over it," he said, grabbing the cloak and throwing it over his head, lifting one end up and extending it to the others. James clambered under. Remus stood still. "Are you coming, Moons?" Sirius asked, sighing.

"I'm going to go check on Peter, actually."

"Seriously, Moony, he'll get over it, he doesn't need you to hold his hand and call him a poor darling," Sirius snapped, and Remus narrowed his eyes. "Mollycoddling the great lump's not gonna do any good, you know."

"Well then, next time you're pulled down a notch we'll remind you of these words when you're in need of ego stroking," Remus shot back, and Sirius rolled his eyes a little as the other boy moved off to return to the dormitory. He looked over at James. "We're still going out though, right?" he said, nudging his best friend. "Or are you going to go attend to Wormtail too?"

James smirked a little, and shook his head. "Anything to get out of this castle for an hour mate, my legs feel like they're being crocheted."

"Crocheted," Sirius snorted, grinning. "Ooh, la-di-_dah_. We are technical with our embroidery terms."

"It's not really embroider-" James paused mid-sentence. "I'll stop and protect the rest of my masculinity."

"What masculinity?" Sirius said, grinning, when something caught his eye, and he stopped, turning to look in the direction of the dungeons.

"What? What is it?" James asked, noticing this sudden change in behaviour. Sirius held up a hand.

"You go on out mate, I need to go check something out," he muttered, before moving off in the direction of the dungeons.

"Oi, wait-" James began to call after him, when all of a sudden someone stepped in front of him.

"Are you sneaking out?" Lily Evans asked him, frowning at him with suspicion.

"No, what's it matter-" James replied, trying to look over her shoulder. Lily pushed herself up onto tiptoes to block his view further. With a heavy sigh, he turned to look at her and raised his eyebrows questionably.

"I'm on duty, you know," Lily told him.

"Oh, good for you!" She continued to look at him pointedly. James sighed again. "Right, what is it, Evans?"

"Sixth years are supposed to be returning to the dormitories," she stated matter-of-factly.

"Okay, then I won't tell anyone if you won't," he said with a smile that made her clench her jaw a little.

"I'm on duty," she repeated.

"Dock some points then," James replied, keeping the same irritating smile plastered on his face. Lily wanted to hit him.

"You'd make me take points from my own house."

"Never stopped you before," James said, before sighing dramatically. "Of course, I could propose an alternative."

Lily remained staring at him firmly, jaw already set in place with a response of 'no'.

"You could, perchance, go on a date with me," James suggested, stretching his arms with showy laziness.

"No."

"Come on, Evans..."

"No."

"You haven't actually ever given me a-"

"No."

"That's unfair; you're not even lis-"

"Go away Potter." She turned away to hide the fact that she was smiling.

"You enjoyed that kiss under the mistletoe last year!" James called after her. The smile faded from her face and she turned slowly to face him. He grinned triumphantly.

"What kiss?" she asked. Was that the only response she could think of? _What kiss_? Was that even grammatically correct? Oh Merlin she was losing her touch.

It pleased her when his expression faltered for a moment, before he regained the smirk. "Oh you know, the long, passionate one we shared?"

"I know of no such kiss."

James grinned as he walked back towards her, Lily folding her arms across her chest indignantly. "Lying doesn't suit you."

"Who says I'm lying?" she challenged quietly. They were very close now. "Maybe I've repressed it from my memory. I mean, it could be seen as some form of being taken advantage of, what with Sirius's bloody spell."

"So you remember it!"

_Bollocks_. "It wasn't particularly good."

"You didn't seem to be suggesting that at the time."

"Well," Lily said, willing her cheeks not to flush, "I was in shock. I mean, that doesn't even count as a real kiss does it? I'd have to kiss you again to judge it properly and that's not going to hap-" She was cut off as lips met hers, a little gasp emerging from her mouth, before her eyes closed and she was pulling him closer to her. It was only when she backed into a pillar that she seemed to jolt to her senses. Kicking James on the shin in her haste to pull away, she wiped her mouth and stared at him, slightly horrified.

"Well?" he asked her, breathing staggered.

"Um," was all she responded, before she smacked her forehead and began to walk speedily in another direction, leaving James standing there, watching. At the last moment she did a u-turn and veered off in the other direction, an immense feeling of satisfaction welling within James.

* * *

The dungeons were freezing as Sirius entered them, and for a moment he pitied the Slytherins. Only for a split second though. He turned a corner, entering Slughorn's room, to see a slender figure leaning against the blackboard.

"I thought it was you!" Sirius said with the biggest grin he had felt for a while.

"Hello, Sirius," Regulus replied, smiling deftly as Sirius bounded towards him, pulling him into a hug.

"Oh Merlin, are you alright? I tried to see you but _they_ wouldn't let me," he told his younger brother, who raised his eyebrows in faint amusement. "Bellatrix is an absolute cow. Are you going to get out of there? Come on, Reg, come join me and Drom and Dorea and our happy band of outlaws."

Regulus maintained the smirk, and Sirius grinned, although it was beginning to falter. There was something slightly off about his brother.

"Reg?"

"Would you want me there?" he asked finally, and Sirius frowned, shaking his head and smiling.

"Course we would you numpty. I'm your brother. It's my duty to be mean, it doesn't mean I actually dislike you. I did, but then now I know you're okay."

"When did you decide this?"

"When you pretty much saved my life, mate."

Regulus's smirk was beginning to creep him out a little now. "Oh yes. I saved your life."

Sirius's smile vanished. "I'm sorry, are you angry at me?" he asked. "I couldn't do anything, Reg. I didn't know what to do..."

"You know, I'm thinking about joining the Death Eaters."

That was abrupt. Sirius laughed a little, before he realised that Regulus was in fact being deadly serious. "You're... not, are you?"

Regulus said nothing.

"After what Bellatrix did to you, you'd think of that?" Sirius snapped incredulously. "Are you actually mental? You'd join the Death Eaters after our bitch of a cousin put you in hospital? Regulus, you're bloody crazy."

"I remember some things," Regulus continued, and the smirk had vanished now. "From that night."

"Please Regulus..."

"'Why would I want to be related to a bunch like you lot?'" he quoted. It was like a blow to the guts. Regulus one, Sirius nil.

"Reg, I didn't mean you..."

"_You lot_, you said," Regulus replied coldly. "Not _you two_."

"But..."

"Because the truth is, Sirius," Regulus said, looking at him with coldness in his eyes, "you don't care like you say you do. We meet, but it's always in secret. We talk, but it's always in hushed tones. The truth is you're embarrassed of me. A brother in Slytherin. A Black who hasn't been disowned, or broken the rules in any way. I'm here to be ridiculed so that you can be accepted by your traitor friends. Is that fair?"

"That's not how it is, Reg," Sirius pleaded, but Regulus laughed coolly.

"Then how is it?" he demanded, glaring. "You don't want anything to do with the Blacks. Well, what a shame it is that that counts me."

"Regulus..."

"We can't be brothers, anymore."

_Ding ding ding! Knock out!_ It felt as if Regulus had hit him with something extremely heavy as he said those words. The look he pierced him with just added to the agony he was feeling. "How can you say that?" Sirius asked, trying to keep his voice sounding firm. "I've worried and worried and worried about you."

"And you'll have worried to yourself, because Merlin forbid Sirius Black admit he _cares_ for his family," Regulus shot angrily. "Which will have made you even more unbearable than you already are, moping and moaning to yourself and demanding more attention. The world revolves around Sirius Black, and doesn't everybody know it?"

Sirius bit his lip, feeling an awful mist of truth seeping through behind the words. Regulus smiled nastily.

"So, from now on, we're no longer brothers," Regulus said calmly, and Sirius set his jaw fast. "It's what you want, Sirius. It's what we both want."

He looked almost sad for a second, before he shoved into his brother's shoulder and left the room swiftly, leaving Sirius paralysed by what had just happened.

* * *

The rest of the run up to Christmas seemed to pass in a blur of Professors banging on about the importance of NEWTs and the students spending less and less of their newly allocated free periods on work and more and more of this time discussing plans for the upcoming holiday.

"I think we're going to the grandparents in Italy," Remus said, as his Queen stabbed Sirius's Bishop on the chessboard. "Check."

"You're not allowed to hurt clergymen! And I call treason," Sirius snapped in response, Remus grinning and smacking his friend's hand away from the board to prevent him from tampering with it. "The grandparents in Italy though. Very nice."

"It'll be cold though," Remus said with a shrug. "It won't be generic Italy."

"Who cares, it's Italy!" Sirius responded with a grin.

"Exactly. School's like the furthest annual journey I make," James chipped in, looking up from his book briefly and glancing over at Lily, who looked furious and turned her head away. Remus looked between the two with raised eyebrows.  
"Do I ask?"

"She can't accept her emotions," James replied jovially, grinning over at the back of her head. "But she will. Give it time."

Sirius laughed. "Not enough time in the world, mate."

"Well," James said, beginning his sentence proudly, when Lily caught his eye, looking directly at him. It was as if he could hear her thoughts emanating toward him, a slightly desperate look in her eyes.

"Well?"

James's gaze lingered on hers for a moment before he shook his head and looked up at Remus the other two. "I have a new battle strategy for asking her out, is all."

"So you're still just blundering on," Sirius murmured as one of his knights was massacred. "That is ridiculously unfair!"

"You just suck at games, Sirius, admit it," Remus hummed, and Sirius glared at him.

"It's a stupid game."

"Sore loser."

"And you're a knob."

"Why, thank you."

"And you suck as a human being."

"That's very kind. Anything else?"

"Um..." Sirius looked at the bored and sighed. "I was hoping I could pull off some incredible move that would land you in checkmate so I could be all debonair and be like 'and checkmate', and then you'd gasp. But that is sadly not the case."

"Very sad." Remus smiled a little, before giving a command to a rook. "Checkmate."

"Piss off."

"Where's Peter?" James asked abruptly. Sirius threw a shrug and shook his head.

"I'm not sure," he said, casting a glance around. "Not here?"

"Very astute," Remus commented with a wry smile. "Your intellectual capacity astounds."

"I don't need intellect, remember?" Sirius retorted proudly. "McGoogles loved my face."

"No, she said you'd get by, you tosser," James laughed, as the portrait hole swung open and in clambered a slightly bedraggled looking Peter. "Speak of the devil! You look a bit wet, mate."

"Do I?" Peter asked, raising his eyebrows and shaking some of the water out of his hair, flecks flying everywhere. A couple of girls screamed as it hit them; Mary Macdonald threw a pillow at him in response, which hit him on the side of the head, eliciting a swearword from him.

"What happened to you?" James asked, looking a little surprised by Peter's behaviour. Peter gritted his teeth together and kicked the pillow back at Mary, who ducked, the object hitting a painting behind.

"Bloody Mulciber, wasn't it?" he snapped over the top of the painting's occupiers, who were shouting abuse at him. "Pushed me into the lake."

"You got pushed into the lake?" Sirius was clearly having a very hard time concealing his thoughts about this. "Um, how exactly?"

"Well, I was standing by the lake, and Mulciber's got these things called hands, and he used them to push me into the lake," Peter replied coolly, and Sirius pulled a face.

"_Oooh_, I _beg_ your pardon."

"Why'd he do that Peter?" Remus asked as he clouted Sirius around the head with a book from a nearby chair.

"I don't know, because he's a dick?" Peter suggested, sitting down angrily next to James, who shuffled along slightly to avoid getting wet. "But you'll never guess. Snape's in their little gang now. He has friends."

"Bloody hell," James snorted. "And we thought we'd never see the day."

"And Regulus is with them to too," Peter continued, and Sirius grimaced a little. "Sorry, mate."

"It's alright," Sirius replied flatly. "I had a feeling he would be." James smiled at him and Sirius sighed. "Merlin, though. I always thought he'd turn out okay, you know?"

"Well, never mind, eh? He can make his own decisions, even if they're stupid," Remus said, and Sirius chuckled.

"In that respect we're pretty similar," he added.

"Nah, you're far more stupid than him," James grinned.

"Far more stupid, but a hundred times more attractive."

"Just far more stupid, really."

"Shut up."

Peter yawned and shook his head. "I'm guessing Mulciber has appointed himself as head of the idiots now, anyway, so watch out."

"But that just sounds like an invitation," James replied with a wistful sigh. "Just think about all the things we can do, all the pranks we can pull, all the fun we can have..."

"Challenge accepted," Sirius finished, grinning widely. "Oh, we're going to have so much fun."

**Okay, so I guess it's not really long enough for such a colossal gap, and I mean, I can't really write down how profusely sorry I am for not updating sooner. I have been busy but that's not really a very legitimate excuse, so you're very welcome to come and chase me with pitchforks if you so desire. Thank you for sticking with me! I'll try and have the next one up within the next year. :D**


	31. In which James trips over

***Creeps past hoards of angry readers* Oh hello! Have you been looking for me? I'm so sorry I haven't updated. I don't really even have an excuse other than that I have a lot of work at the moment, but everyone knows that's a useless excuse seeing as everyone has lots of work, so maybe it's just laziness. Thank you for sticking with me. You guys can have a cookie. I LOVE YOU. SORRY.**

The last week before Christmas was renowned for being the second best week of school, beaten only by the week before the summer holidays commenced. The castle buzzed with excitement as the decorations were strung up, the food grew steadily richer and brought more nostalgia and the ghosts began in their annual recital of carols. Sirius took every occasion he could to join in; Remus, James and Peter maintained that the ghosts did rather a better job of it than their friend.

However, the teachers did not seem to be relaxing, which annoyed more than a few students. When Professor Winslow announced that they were to have a mock exam, Sirius made a threat to walk out.

"Okay, I swear to God, if you guys don't stop giving us homework I'm going to spontaneously combust," he said, Winslow raising her eyebrows in response. "Seriously, it's Christmas. I swear they didn't even give us mocks last year and we had exams. We don't have to worry about papers until February, March next year. Why give us them now? It only bestows us with extra pressures that we do not need in this vital and gruelling period of our lives." He paused, folding his arms and staring at Winslow, before realising he was standing up and smiling sheepishly.

"Right," Winslow said, breaking the silence, and there was a titter of laughter that washed over the class. "Well. Thank you for that heartfelt speech, Mr Black. I shall consider your proposition." She turned around and moved towards the front of the class, before spinning back round. "Thought about it. You're still having a mock exam."

James also had not eased off of the abundance of Quidditch practices. Every night he dragged the Gryffindor team down to the Quidditch pitch, pushing them to learn new moves and to improve in their technique. "It's team-building!" he assured them. "We're becoming better at co-operating."

It didn't feel like they were. It had only taken about four weeks before Sirius's mild irritation for Ludo Bagman had grown into full-blown dislike. "He's driving me mental," he told James hollowly, who laughed and clapped him on the shoulder. "If he calls me 'old chap' again I will take his beater's bat and I will shove it forcefully up the mouth shaped crevice that is his arsehole which will probably result in his permanent silence seeing as most of what he has to say comes from there, you mark my words."

"He's an obnoxious twat, I know," James said, grinning as Sirius grumbled in agreement, "but he's a bloody good beater. So stick in there, okay?"

"But it hurts me physically to be near him," Sirius protested, and James laughed, shaking his head.

"I don't give a toss. So long as we win it'll be okay."

"It hurts me physically to be near you at the moment as well."

"That's my boy."

Aoife, the tall Irish keeper who seemed to have no sense of humour, had also seemed to have taken upon herself the task of putting Sirius in his place whenever he complained a little too much or offended one of the other girls. He had more than a few bruises from where she he had whacked him, and she had more than a bit of admiration from the other girls, particularly Mary, who regularly got into fights with the dark haired boy.

"You ask for it," she told him bluntly as they walked back to the castle after a particularly gruelling Quidditch practice, both of them splattered from head to toe in mud. James was still flying around the pitch; he had asked Sirius to stay but he had resigned in protest. "You piss everyone off. It's like you're asking for a smack in the face. Don't pull that face, you know you're a pretentious dickhead."

"I'm a handsome one though," Sirius replied, and Mary rolled her eyes, folding her arms and speeding a few steps ahead of him, Sirius grinning as they approached the castle, before he frowned as three shapes appeared through the main doors. "Who's that?"

His question was answered as Mulciber's face came into view, Nott and Crabbe flagging him on either side, and Sirius raised his eyebrows slightly, glancing across at Mary, who looked equally as judgemental.

"Well, well, well," Mulciber said, smirking as he stared at the pair. "Why, if it isn't little Sirius Black."

"Little?" Sirius replied, wrinkling his nose at the term. "I don't know about that. I know several people who would disagree with you there. Mary, what would you say?"

"Shut up, Black," Mary snapped, not peeling her eyes from Mulciber. "Is there something you want? Or are you just taking your cronies for an airing?"

Mulciber ignored her. "The parties are quiet without you, Black," he said, continuing to smirk. "Your being punished was usually the highlight of every meal."

"Well, I'm a very entertaining person," Sirius replied, smiling, his fingers curling into a fist. "But oh well, Mulciber, just keep reminding yourself of the good old days."

"What with no one to torture, it's a pretty boring event," Mulciber said with a wistful sigh, Crabbe and Nott guffawing. "Regulus is just not as fun."

"You bastard..."

"Still, he makes interesting company, isn't that right boys?" Mulciber continued, Nott making an unintelligible grunt that Sirius took to be indicative of his agreement. "So many stories I've heard from him. He and the halfblood, the pair of them are _very_ passionate about their beliefs. They make good dogsbodies, too. Regulus seems particularly eager to please, Black. Obviously Daddy never had to put him under the Imperius to get him to be obedient. He's like a little puppy, really. Now we should train him to chase off blood traitors and mudbloods."

Sirius's knuckles had turned white. "Well, you'd know all about being a pet, wouldn't you? Has your master given doggy a bone yet? Or are you still a common garden arsehole?" Mulciber's hand flickered to his left arm, and Sirius glowered. "Oh, so you've got your collar. What a good little dog you are. Pedigree. Top notch."

"Seems rich coming from the mongrel," Mulciber replied, and Sirius recoiled slightly. Was that a hint?

"Why don't you fuck off back to your hole, Mulciber?" Mary snapped, putting her hands on her hips and stepping forwards. "Nobody gives a shit what you have to say anyway."

"How dare you speak to me, you filthy mudblood?" spat Mulciber, finally turning to look at her and drawing his wand from his pocket. "You should learn to hold your scummy little tongue. Or do you want me to hold it for you?"

"Hey, lay off!" Sirius shouted, stepping forwards, when Mulciber span and shot a beam of yellow light at him and Sirius felt a burst of pain whip across his face. "Fuck!" he hissed, reaching for his own wand, but Mary had got there first.

"_Petrificus totalus_!" she hollered, throwing the spell at the three boys, feeling a small amount of satisfaction as Crabbe fell on top of Nott, Mulciber falling onto his face. "How dare you call me a filthy mudblood, you disgusting bigot?" she replied in a silky voice, before aiming kick at his stomach and gesturing to a bemused looking Sirius to follow her. "Come on, Black. Let's go sort your face out."

* * *

"Ugh."

"What's wrong now?" Remus asked, looking up from his work to where Peter sat, tongue poked between his teeth as he scrawled furiously.

"I'm never going to get this finished by tomorrow, Winslow's having a laugh," the other boy replied, flipping a new piece of parchment in front of him and splashing ink on the carpet as he dipped his quill into the well again. "I don't understand Defence. I never have and I never will. Who the hell gives a shit about a Hinkypunk anyway? Who even knows what it is?"

"It's a swamp creature, actually," Remus replied before he could stop himself. "It uses a light to lure people into the mires."

"Well it sounds like a sex kink," Peter muttered glumly, his writing getting gradually larger and messier. "I think I'm done, hallelujah."

"Well done, that man," Remus said, grinning, as Peter dropped his quill and leant back against the foot of an armchair.

"What are you doing anyway?" Peter asked, looking up at his friend and frowning. "Are you _knitting_?"

"I'm making a scarf for Nonno," replied Remus. "My grandfather," he added in response to Peter's confused look. "He likes them."

"So let me get this straight," Peter said, narrowing his eyes, and Remus nodded. "You're more intelligent than me, better looking than me, good at board games, have extensive knowledge of muggle culture, can eat all the chocolate you so desire and still not get fat, have Italian grandparents _and_ know how to knit, and yet you remain so modest? Do your talents know no end?"

Remus laughed, before shrugging. "I didn't say I _could_ knit. I just am."

"Well you obviously can if you're making your n- no- your grandfather a scarf," Peter replied, before scoffing as Remus held up his attempt. "Okay. Ah. Is that a scarf or a noose?"

"I was thinking he could maybe use it as a dressing gown belt," Remus said, grimacing at the straggly piece of knitting he held in front of him as Peter laughed. At that moment, the portrait hole opened, Mary and Sirius clambering through. "Shit, what happened to your face, Pads?"

Sirius, holding his hand over his nose, shook his head, merely throwing himself down into the chair opposite Remus and leaning forwards. "Feel sick," he murmured thickly, as Mary spat into the fire grate, the other two boys raising their eyebrows.

"What happened?" repeated Remus, wrinkling his nose slightly as Sirius took his hand away from his face, revealing it to be smeared with blood.

"Mulciber," Mary said venomously. "It seems he has become even more of a dick than usual. Black's face was an unfortunate victim, though Mulciber hit his pretty hard." She gave Sirius one last look, before turning. "Anyway, I'm off. Remus, can you fix his face or something? Stubborn git won't go to Pomfrey." And with that, she stalked off towards the girls' dormitories, ignoring her group of friends as she passed.

"Why won't you go to Pomfrey?" Remus asked, and Sirius shrugged.

"It doesn't matter. Can you sort me out before I drown on my own blood, please?"

"I think that's a bit extreme," Remus replied, but he complied, producing his wand. "_Episkey_."

A small amount of relief was brought to Sirius's face, and he coughed, straightening in the chair a little as he tried to wipe his nose on his sleeve. It didn't work particularly well. "Ugh. Thanks for that," he mumbled.

"You're welcome," replied Remus, before he raised an eyebrow. "Do we get a proper explanation then? What's he done?"

"He fucking started about..." Sirius stopped, hesitant. He shouldn't care anymore, should he? He wasn't supposed to care about Regulus. Regulus had made it quite plain they weren't brothers anymore. But what Mulciber had said had really got underneath his skin. "Just stuff," he finished. "He called Mary a mudblood."

"What? That bastard!"

"He kept going on about the Ancient and Most Noble House of Bigots, too," Sirius continued, closing his eyes against the queasy feeling in his stomach. "So Mary got him."

"You what?"

"I know," Sirius agreed, nodding. "I'm never going to piss her off again. That girl is dangerous. Anyway, I wouldn't go to Pomfrey because she'd be all 'ugh Black you've been fighting again ugh Black you never leave me in peace' and then she'd probably make me stay in and Mulciber would think he's won. Dick." He opened his eyes again, and frowned. "What the fuck is that? Is that a noose?"

"Piss off, it's a scarf," replied Remus, and Sirius raised his eyebrows. "It's to keep his neck warm."

"Not to keep it strung up?"

"It's multifunctional," Peter interjected quickly, and Sirius grinned.

"You're so funny, you two," Remus sighed, dropping the attempt at a scarf onto the floor. "I suppose I'll have to charm it. Mum'll know though, and we were supposed to be making homemade gifts."

"No offence, Rem, but every time your mum suggests homemade it usually ends up catastrophic," Sirius said, and Remus's lips quirked upwards. "You might as well start off with magic anyway."

"It's the thought that counts."

"That's what you say when you get a present that's shit," Peter replied, and Sirius nodded in affirmation. "The thought never counts. If it's the thought that counts, that means the person is thinking 'I don't think you put much thought into this laughable gift at all'."

"It's true. You should give up now."

The portrait hole opened again, and this time James strolled through, beloved broomstick over his shoulder and Quidditch captain badge emblazoned proudly on his chest. "Evening all," he greeted as he walked towards the other Marauders, beaming, before his grin faltered. "What've you been doing?" he asked Sirius, eyes widening slightly.

"Mulciber happened," Sirius replied flatly. "How was your cool down?"

"Good," James replied distractedly. "What do you mean 'Mulciber happened'? Do I need to go beat him up?"

"Nah, Mary beat you to it."

"Mary beat me to – what have I missed?"

Sirius shrugged, and James moved to sit down, before stumbling over something which sent him flying. Everything seemed to happen in slow motion then. James soared through the air for a moment, before he was sent sprawling onto his front and knocking the open ink bottle all over himself – and subsequently onto Peter's freshly written essay. Peter leapt to his feet, shouting, Remus jumped forward in his chair to try and grab James, and Sirius sat watching with a mildly amused expression on his face.

"No!" Peter groaned, grabbing the saturated essay as James shook his hands, flecks of ink dropping from his fingers and onto the carpet. "It's ruined!"

"Yes, I'm fine thanks," grumbled James, pushing himself back to his feet. "What the fuck did I trip over?"

"It's _ruined_," Peter repeated, his voice sounding desperate. "What the hell am I going to do? _Scourgify._ Wait, no! No! NO!" He dropped the cleaned parchment, revealing it to be blank. "NO."

"Is that a _noose_?"

* * *

"I'm so excited for Christmas," Sirius admitted, beaming as the exploding snap cards cracked and fizzed again. "It's actually going to be happy for once. Happy happy Christmas!"

The four boys were sat in a carriage on the Hogwarts Express, James and Peter locked in battle over exploding snap, Remus rereading _Lord of the Rings_, Sirius examining his reflection in his one of the pair of two-way mirrors that belonged to him and James. "Well, you say that, but there's still a chance my Dad'll decide to cook and he'll food poison us all," James replied, grinning, and Sirius sighed.

"To be honest, even if I spent all Christmas throwing up it would still be happier than usual, mate."

James nodded, ruffling his hair, before turning to Remus and Peter. "And you two? What are you up to? Transatlantic travels for Remus, yes?"

"Lucky git."

"It's not going to be as good as you guys think it'll be," Remus said, his signature amused look playing on his face. "It'll be cold. It'll be snowing. My Dad'll be being the stereotypical English bloke and will moan the whole way round."

"But it'll be Italy!" Sirius exclaimed, and Remus grinned. "What about you, Pete? Will you be crushing on some local girl for the whole of Christmas?"

Peter didn't laugh. "Shut up, Sirius."

"Alright, grumpy." He glanced out of the window, grinning as King's Cross rolled into view. "We're here! Ah, yes. This is going to be a good Christmas, guys. I can feel it in my balls."

"Charming."

* * *

The house was dark when Peter entered it, and smelt damp and musty, like the windows hadn't been opened in a long time. "Mum?" he called, a little tentatively. "Mum, I'm back. Mum, you in here?"

Dragging his trunk up the stairs, Peter reached the landing, not missing the slight speeding up of his heartbeat. Was she okay? Was she here? He reached her bedroom door, which was slightly ajar, slightly revealing the darkened room behind it. "Mum?"

Oh Merlin. He was going to find her dead, wasn't he? Rotting in her bed in a pile of her own vomit or something dire to that affect. He could picture it now. What would he tell the neighbours? How would they have not noticed that his mother had died? Had the carers left her? What was he going to do? He knew he should never have gone back to Hogwarts.

Stretching his fingers towards the door, Peter took a sharp breath and moved to push it open when he heard the key turn in the lock downstairs and the front door squeaked open, followed by the sound of laughter and talking. A familiar voice lead the chatter. _Oh no. Not him._

Turning round, Peter's eyes narrowed as he made his way downstairs, locking eyes with the tall blond boy who helped his mother through the door, smiling as if nothing was wrong in the world.

"Hey look, Ma, it's Pete! Pete's back! See, I told you he'd be okay getting back from the station. How're you, brother? Ah, Pete, it's good to see you mate."

Peter raised his eyebrows and smiled, before raising his fist and smacking Benjamin in the jaw.

**I'm so sorry. So so so so sorry. I can't even express how sorry I am. Do you guys all hate me now? Sorry sorry sorry. If it's any consolation I am writing the next chapter, but I doubt that's any consolation so maybe this A/N is a bit pointless :P I'm going to rechristen it N/A for Note of Apology since this all I ever seem to do anymore!**

**Sorry sorry sorry D: **

**Thank you so much for sticking with me guys. I'm so sorry.**

**Rocky**

**X :)**


	32. In which Sirius feels sentimental

**Hi! I promised I'd update sooner, so I hope this is soon enough and not too soon that the chapter is crap :) Basically I based Remus's family on my sister's family (she's half-Italian) – we went to stay with them a couple of summers ago and they're pretty strong characters! Also, I'm sorry if Peter seems a little out of character for, well, Peter. It struck me while I was writing him, so I'm trying to reign him back in a bit. Thank you for reading again!**

**Rocky**

**xx**

"What are you doing here?"

Benjamin shuffled awkwardly under Peter's unyielding glare. "I came to see you and Mum."

They were sitting at the table in the kitchen, Peter glowering at his older brother, who was looking as if he wanted the ground to open and swallow him whole, pressing an ice pack to his chin. Mrs Pettigrew had shrieked at Peter for attacking Benjamin, and Peter had pretended to apologise before seeing her into her bed and settling her down, before returning to hear what his brother had to say for himself. It would obviously be _very_ interesting.

"That's bullshit," snapped Peter, folding his arms crossly. "Why are you really here? You obviously need something."

Benjamin shook his head, biting his lip, before sighing heavily. Peter wasn't going to stand for it. "Things... didn't work out in Africa. India and I... well, things didn't go as smoothly as we'd planned."

"And your sprog?" Peter asked, his voice sounding several times harsher than he had intended it to be. Benjamin winced.

"Destiny is to stay with her mother for the time being."

_Destiny_. Peter wrinkled his nose at the name. "I thought she was called Africa?"

Ben smiled slightly. "We named her Destiny after we found the hospital she was born in. It's funny, we were wandering around one afternoon in the lazy African heat, and we stumbled upon this beautiful hospital – you should have seen it, it was a magical hospital, we weren't sure that there had been one in Cape Town, but there was, and there it was, looking resplendent in the sunshine, and it was just as we gazed upon it that India went into labour..."

"Well, whoopdedoo," Peter muttered, standing up and pushing his chair back. "Forgive me if I'm not excited to see you."

"Pete," Benjamin called after him, and Peter bit his tongue, turning around. "I'm here to help you with Mum, I swear. I regret leaving you, I know you hate me, and I shouldn't have made as huge of a mistake as I did, but I'm trying to make up for it, I swear. What can I do to say I'm sorry?"

"You can't."

"Peter, don't be like this..."

Peter's fist clenched. "Okay, so you're sorry. Sure. Great. And you're back, like the prodigal son, and we're all very happy. But how long are you back for? How long are you going to help us before you leave again to start your life once more? What about your _wife and daughter_, Benjamin? Are you just going to _abandon_ them? Abandoning them just like you abandoned us."

"Peter..."

"Don't you dare accuse me of being harsh," Peter hissed, and Benjamin stopped, staring at him. "You run away from everything. Me? I stay and I face up to my responsibilities. But you? You vanish at the first sight of a struggle, just like Dad. And you know what? You're a coward. You're a great big stinking coward."

"Oh, and you stick it out til the end?" Benjamin snapped, and Peter halted, turning back to face him slowly. "Just you wait, Pete. When you see a bit more of the world, you won't call me a coward. You'll understand my reasoning."

"Okay," Peter replied, forcing civility into his voice. "Okay. But until that day, you'll still be a great yellow bastard in my eyes."

Despite his best intentions, however, Peter couldn't shake his brother's words, instead allowing them to loom at the back of his mind like a cloud tinting his thoughts.

* * *

"_Buon Natale, Nonna_," Remus said as his grandmother kissed him on both cheeks, before squeezing him into one of the biggest hugs he'd ever received. Maria Carmela Aluffo was one of the most enthusiastic huggers he'd ever met in his life, and was possibly the best.

"You've got thinner, tesoro," she commented in her thick Italian accent, frowning as she pushed him back to examine him. "Has that school not been feeding you enough? Vera always came back scrawnier by the year. Honestly, why you don't complain John is beyond my understanding..."

Remus grinned as John pretended to agree. "I'm working on a letter as we speak, Signora."

Maria smiled and reached out, stroking John's chin fondly, before turning to her daughter, ready to pass her judgement. "Your hair doesn't suit that colour," she said decidedly, and Vera raised her eyebrows slightly.

"I like this colour, Mamma," she said, tugging on a strand of her dyed blonde hair, and Maria shrugged.

"It draws the colour from your face," she replied, gesturing to John for support. "You had such a lovely hair colour before, didn't it improve her skin tone, don't you think?"

"John likes it, don't you, John?"

Remus smirked as he glanced at his father, who seemed to be having difficulty forming a diplomatic response to appease the two women, when the door opened again, and a tired looking man in a bright green turtle neck jumper and a paper Christmas hat emerged into the hallway.

"Papà!" Vera greeted, beaming, and she moved to kiss and hug her father, almost instantly forgetting her previous conversation.

"Ciao, dolcezza," replied Michele Vaccina, before turning to look at the two boys. "Who of you two will put the kettle on then? I'm old and you know where it is."

Unlike his wife, Michele's accent wasn't so much Italian as one of Scunthorpe, where he had grown up, meeting Maria only when he returned to Italy as part of his university degree. They had moved back to Italy once Vera had completed her education at Hogwarts, and so Remus had barely seen them, excluding the annual visit, which Vera loved, but John found mildly irritating due to the lack of magic what with her parents being Muggles, and the lack of tea what with the awful cups Italian water seemed to produce.

"I think Remus should, what with him being young and able," John said quickly, and Remus sighed. "Milk, no sugar please, son."

By this time the two women were speaking in rapid Italian, and John was starting to get the glazed look he often had of incomprehension when at his in-laws' house. Remus smirked, before heading off to the kitchen.

"Hey, Nonno, when's Zia Rosa coming?"

Zia Rosa was infamous. Maria's fierce elder sister, Rosa was a tiny little woman with a loud, high-pitched voice that sounded vaguely reminiscent of a machine-gun, and a great enjoyment for terrorising John by ordering him to "_Mangia la banana_!" each time she saw him. Even as he mentioned her name, Remus saw John roll his eyes slightly, and Michele laughed. "We aren't notified of these things. She'll come when she wishes to come."

"We don't get a warning?"

"Where would be the fun in that?"

* * *

Christmas morning came fast, and the Potter household was up early, Dorea and Sirius cooking a huge roast dinner ("You're such a girl," James told him) as Charlus and James began making a pile of every Gryffindor thing they owned, ready to wear them at the table. All the while, Sirius couldn't swallow the feeling of excitement at the fact that this was to be the best Christmas he had ever had, what with not having to attend any family meal or show his face as heir to the Black family fortune.

"I'm so hungry right now," James said, and Charlus agreed with a nod as he tied a Gryffindor scarf round the waist of his Christmas jumper. "Mum, when's it gonna be ready?"

"When it's time for it to be ready," replied Dorea as she flicked her wand, conducting the knives to cut the carrots. "Are you in Gryffindor or something James? And there was me thinking you were a Hufflepuff."

"That's not a thing you joke about, Mother," James replied as Charlus tutted loudly. "The mere thought is enough to make me feel ill."

"Mind you," Charlus said, nudging James in the ribs, "better Hufflepuff than Slytherin. Only the very worst of society end up there."

"Do they now?" Dorea asked, raising her eyebrows as she wiped up a couple of glasses with her tea towel. "Just remember who's got control of the cooker. You don't want burnt food or mulled arsenic for a drink now, do you?"

"See what I mean?" Charlus stage-whispered and James gasped dramatically.

"I do believe that was blackmail, good sir!"

"You buffoons," Dorea laughed, before turning to Sirius. "Honestly, I don't know how I put up with them every year. I just get a constant torrent of abuse."

"Come on guys, lay off," Sirius said, smirking. "She can't help being a Slytherin. It's not nice to take the mick out of people's faults."

"I can burn your turkey too, young man," Dorea threatened, and Sirius grinned.

"Well that's decided," James said, folding his arms. "I think you're being prejudiced against Gryffindor house, Mother. All three of us rather dashing young men of the house of Godric feel mortally offended by your blatant dislike of our courageousness." He sighed. "Honestly, Mother, I find your attitude quite simply appalling. I think-"

He was cut off when the tea towel hit him in the head.

* * *

**(Insert line here_ -_**_ dedicated to Sigga who pointed out that I forgot to tidy up my fic._**)**

"So, Remus, tell me," Maria said as they sat at the dinner table, mountainous bowls of pasta set before all of them, "do you have any love interests yet?"

Remus almost choked on his wine. "Sorry, Nonna?"

"You know," Maria continued, a mischievous smile spreading across her face, "any lady-friends at all?"

"Yes, Remus, any lady-friends?" John asked with equal curiosity, and Maria giggled as Remus flushed in the face slightly.

"Do you really think this is an appropriate subject for Christmas Dinner?"

"Well, I need to know if I can expect any more grandchildren before I die," pitched in Michele, and there was a titter of agreement. Remus hated the smirk John had on his face. _Continue laughing, you git. Zia Rosa will be here soon._ _Then you'll be sorry._

It was as if his thoughts were psychically linked to the doorbell, which rang at that moment. Remus, beaming, turned to look at his father, whose face contorted into despair. "Oooh! Is that Zia Rosa, do we think?"

"Remus," chided Vera softly, though she was smirking too. "Do you want to go and let your aunt in? I have to go find some bananas."

* * *

"Delish, Ma, delish," James said, dabbing at his face theatrically with his napkin, before pulling a sly grin. "And thank you very much for not letting Dad cook. I'll take my year of prolonged life and treat it with the greatest respect."

"Cheeky sod," Charlus replied, clouting his son affectionately and ruffling his hair. "I'll have you know my chicken casserole was infamous."

"That's not exactly encouraging, Mr P," Sirius interjected, and James cackled, offering his hand for a high-five.

"Just you wait, Sirius Black, I'll make you a bowl especially," Charlus told him, smirking. "You won't know when it's coming, but it is coming. Be on your guard, kid, be on your guard."

"Charlus, could you please refrain from threatening our guests?" Dorea asked in an amused voice.

"He's not a guest, he's family," Charlus replied, waving his wife off, and Sirius stopped for a moment, before beaming.

James cleared his throat. "However, as much as I would love to keep paying compliments to the chef, I can't help but notice that everyone has finished eating and there is an overwhelmingly large pile of gifts under that tree just waiting to be opened."

"You've really understood the true spirit of Christmas, James Potter."

James sighed and put a hand to his chest. "I can't help but feel this is what the good lord would have wanted, Mother."

It had come to the time of which the ceremonial present opening was to begin, and Dorea, James and Charlus moved to the living room, Sirius following in their wake, watching as James raced his father towards the huge pile of papered items.

"I love this bit," James admitted as he started to sort the presents into piles. "I love the opening the presents more than I actually like the presents themselves."

"Charming," Dorea said, raising her eyebrows as she smirked at him. "So next year I'll just wrap some shoe boxes."

"I actually wouldn't mind, to be honest," James replied, before he turned to look at Sirius. "Come on, misery guts, hurry up. We're all waiting on you."

"What do you mean?" Sirius asked, and James pulled a face, dropping his jaw.

"Well, I can't very well finish opening my presents before you three," he replied, jarring his thumb at a fourth stack of presents, and Sirius's mouth opened slightly. "That would defeat the whole object of making you guys jealous of my overwhelming popularity when I've still got a crapload left."

"I don't know whether I need to remind you of language or modesty," Dorea sighed, and James beamed, before frowning at Sirius.

"What's wrong with you, Pads?" he asked, for Sirius had not moved since he'd pointed out the presents. "You're looking like even more of a deprived emotional wreck than usual. You okay?"

"There's just..." Sirius couldn't find the words. "Are they actually for me?"

"No, they're for the other boy who lives in our house," James replied, before grinning. "Course they are, you muppet. You didn't think we wouldn't get you anything, did you?"

Sirius couldn't quite believe it. Of course, he always got a present from James, Peter and Remus, but his parents were old-fashioned and didn't believe so much in awarding people with presents rather than holding parties to revel in self-importance. Any presents he had ever received had been to prove horrible life lessons or mere information, perhaps being informed of more inheritance that he now would never receive. Hence the huge stack of presents that were organised into a neat pile for him caused a slight clogging in his throat that he would never admit to having. "I..."

Dorea smiled at him warmly, before putting an arm around his shoulders and guided him towards the rest of the family. "Alright?"

"Thank you," Sirius said, nodding, and James cleared his throat.

"I know this is a very sentimental moment and everything," he said in a sombre voice, "but I suggest we start with the great present opening before we all start bawling our eyes out."

* * *

"Here, let me do that-"

"No, thanks. I've got it."

Benjamin sighed heavily, before leaning on the heels of his hands. "You don't trust me any more."

"Don't I?" Peter flicked his tea towel over the cup and bit his bottom lip slightly. "What makes you think that?"

"Okay, I guess I don't deserve your trust."

"Too right you don't."

"But I _am_ going to try to be a better brother, a better son, this time," Benjamin finished firmly, and Peter snorted. "What do I have to do to make you see that, Pete?"

"You don't. I believe you." Peter's tone blatantly contradicted his sentence, and Ben took a deep breath in.

"You don't have to be a sulky teenager, Pete," he snapped, folding his arms. "If you were older you'd understa-"

"A sulky teenager?" Peter spluttered, turning round to face his brother, feeling a sense of fury bubbling in his stomach. "You're calling _me_ a sulky teenager? Because of you leaving, Ben, I haven't been able to _be_ a sulky teenager. I've looked after Mum, I've put up with the bullshit you've spewed the past few months and on top of that, I've kept up with my schoolwork, and I've had it up to _here_ with everything, so don't you _dare_." _  
_

"Peter..."

But Peter had had enough. "I don't want to talk to you any more, Ben, so save your breath. You claim you've changed, but you obviously haven't. You're the same shitty person, you're just being shit to someone else instead of us. And it's probably even more shit that you've abandoned your wife and _daughter_ than it is for us. Well, good for you, Ben." He threw the tea towel at his brother and shrugged. "Knock yourself out. I'm going to go and sulk in my room for a bit like the sullen teenager I am."

**Ugh it's too short to be acceptable, isn't it? To be honest, I don't think the next chapter will be up anywhere near as quickly, but I'll try to get it up a lot quicker than the half a year gap or whatever it was from before! Sorry about that, and thanks for sticking with me! :D **

**Rocky**

**xx**


End file.
